Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Trailer: Entourage

The gang is back. I cannot wait for this to be released. I'll be binging on eps on HBO GO until that day.

Monday, December 22, 2014

Something A Little Different

If you're a movie fan, or just a Tim Burton fan, this is LOL.

Monday Kickstart: Frosty Reception

This being Boston, I've got to believe there were five or six times where a drunk tried to kick his ass. Too bad they didn't make the final edit.

We're probably nearing the end of the inanimate-objects-coming-to-life prank meme. I just can't imagine there are many people left who can still be fooled. Several times in that video there's people standing off to the side, waiting for the prank to happen to someone else. And a few other people who tried turning the tables, and being the scarer instead of the scaree. And then there's the chick in the blue, who took it to a whole other level by hitting on the snowman. This world just gets stranger by the day.

This week inspiration comes in the form of Miss Lily Rae:

...and what a form it is. Let's go.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Throwback Thursday: "Simon Says" -- Pharoahe Monch

1999 fight music...

I still remember my boy E pumping this track on a continuous repeat as we rode around town in his car. It definitely knocked, though on the whole Pharaohe never really lived up to the hype.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

John Hancock

All I'm going to say is, I'm shocked a certain ex of mine never tried employing this technique.

Monday, December 15, 2014

Ratchet Is As Ratchet Does

You're going to ask me what the value of this video is. I'm going to tell you that I honestly don't know. But there are good looking women in it, so...put it on mute if you wish.

Daddy Gets Served

This is goddamn adorable. When this girl is a star in 20 years, remember watching this video.

From E! Online:
Usually people are challenged to a dance battle on the streets or in the club—and sometimes you're called out in your own living room. That's what happened to Sharidon Johnson, who was just trying to complete some chores around the house when he was faced with an unexpected dance battle challenge from none other than his daughter.

"Was pulling up the carpet and listening to old school hip hop...," he wrote with the YouTube clip. "My daughter comes up to me and says 'Dad lets Dance battle!' Let's do it!"

With mom behind the camera, Johnson and his little girl began going head-to-head to "Electric Relaxation (Relax Yourself Girl)" by A Tribe Called Quest.

Monday Kickstart: A Little Sump'n

The truth is, most of us probably don't qualify as "good." We've all got skeletons, we've all got demons. On the grand scale of things, most people are going to fall right in the middle between "naughty" and "nice." But, even though Santa's judgemental ass doesn't have love for us, feel secure in knowing that Sump'n Claus has our backs.

I say down with Santa and his elitist ways. We need someone who's a true man of the people. Sump'n Claus' time has come.

To motivate you this week, we give you another beautiful entity who only wants to share her gifts with the world, the spine-tingling Miss Christina Ripple:

Those eyes say naughty things that not even Santa could hate on. Let's go.

Monday, December 8, 2014

Monday Kickstart: When the Beat Knocks...

Two surefire ways to start your week moving in the right direction: (1.) A cute toddler, and (2.) dubstep.

From Tastefully Offensive:
This cute 2-year-old boy named Tegan proves that you don't need years of experience to be an impressive dancer. Watch and prepare to be stunned as he slowly works up to some epic dance moves around the one-minute mark in this adorably awesome parking lot routine set to a dubstep remix of Flight Facilities' "Crave You".

Since it's Monday morning, I'll put aside the argument that I'm sure many will raise regarding the legitimacy of this being considered "dancing," and revel in the video's sheer cuteness. This feels like the sequel to Chappelle's white-people-can-dance skit. I half expected to hear him come in from off-camera with a "John, drop the—DROP THE BASSLINE!"

This week's inspiration is a lovely lass by the name of Caitlin Rice. What makes her so inspiring, you ask?

A photo posted by šŸŽ€Caitlin R.šŸŽ€ (@caitlinricefit) on

It has you like...yup. Let's go.

Saturday, December 6, 2014


No Justice, No Peace

I’m struggling to put together my thoughts. I’ve been processing this for days—really, for months. My conscience tells me there’s something I should be saying. My brain tells me there’s nothing I can say that hasn’t already been said—that hasn’t already been ignored.

I’ve been impassioned by the measures of the minority acting on behalf of a minority, those protesting peacefully-but-forcefully in Ferguson, MO and the glittering metropolises like New York City, Los Angeles, and London. I’ve been horrified, in turn, by their counterparts, a much more minor minority, that has attempted to lay siege to the former’s legitimacy by burning buildings and looting livelihoods that never truly stood in their way.

I’ve been intrigued by the intelligent study of the few, men and women of education and understanding who’ve lent their thoughtful analysis to the evidence put forward. And I’ve been haunted by the words of fewer still: my fellow members of this odd first-and-a-half-person-perspective citizenship. Like them, my flesh didn’t absorb the bullets and my neck didn’t get squeezed free of air, but my soul has nevertheless felt the weight of hopelessness and sorrow.

I can only speak on behalf of those with whom I share this bond, this feeling of disenfranchisement. And for us, the emotion of it all is an important factor. It’s what’s missing for those who coldly deny our right to anger, our right to express outrage. For them, the topic has nothing to do with emotion. It’s a police officer using his standard-issue weapon or training to bring down an aggressive suspect. For these people, the situation is cause and effect. It’s black and white.

It’s black and white for us, too.

As a black member of American society, you feel eyes on you with every moment that you live in public domain. I’ve often wondered what it must be like to be a white face in an American crowd, moving unnoticed amongst a sea of similarity. To walk one city block without feeling like the people walking past, the people driving by, and the people looking out of their windows are looking directly and most specifically at you. I’ve had white friends spend a couple of hours in a nightclub or a part of town that is predominantly black, and express to me how out of place they felt. How they felt like everyone was staring at them. And they’ve told me this without a slightest twinge of irony, and with no insinuation that maybe it felt so weird for them because our roles had reversed. Not once did they manage to observe the greater truth: That this minor inconvenience, this brief moment of uncomfortableness that might have accounted for 0.05% of their day, was the feeling that I had throughout the other 99.95% of it.

For white Americans, a police uniform is a symbol of safety, honor, and protection. When trapped in an uncomfortable situation, whether race-related or not, a white person—I assume—would gravitate toward that uniform, no matter the skin color of the person wearing it. To a white American, a cop’s uniform is a knight’s armor striding towards them.

For black Americans, a police uniform is a symbol of absolutism, oppression, and tyranny. When at peace in a comfortable situation, whether in a black neighborhood or a white one, a black person—there’s no assumption here—will feel a cold chill at sight of that uniform, no matter the skin color of the person wearing it. To a black American, a cop’s uniform is a menacing storm cloud advancing upon us.

So often, in the past several weeks, I’ve seen white men and women argue that this trepidation, this fear of the police is entirely our own fault. Why surely, if you’re not doing anything wrong, if you’re not acting like a “thug,” if you’re not committing a crime, then you have nothing to be afraid of. Until you understand that this line of thinking has no bearing when you’re black in America, you will never understand our fear.

Obeying the law does not guarantee your safety when you’re black in America. Until you’ve been pulled out of car and searched, while your friends—who are all white—sit in that same car, unmolested; until you’ve been stopped on a sidewalk and questioned, for no other reason than you were there; until you’ve been handcuffed and sat on the curb in front of the house you earned with years of blood, sweat and tears because you “look suspicious,” you will never understand our fear.

Tamir Rice was playing with a toy. Eric Garner was standing outside a store (and, though he was allegedly selling loosies, that deed is a misdemeanor that rarely attracts the attention of one patrolman, let alone six). Akai Gurley was walking down a stairwell with his girlfriend. These are not thuggish, menacing acts. Absent of race, these behaviors would barely register a raised eyebrow. Yet each has resulted in a loss of life. These are not hardened criminals taking their lives into their own hands. These are people going about their own business, just as white Americans do every day, without fear of losing everything that the Rice, Garner, Gurley, and Brown families, and countless others like them, have lost.

In these days, these hours, these nights, these lifetimes, we’ve found ourselves tied to the victims’ families by an unfathomable blood bond, one that goes deeper than last names and family trees. We feel one with them and their pain, if only because we know that they understand.

Friday, December 5, 2014

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Throwback Thursday: "It's All About Me" -- Mya ft. Dru Hill

Don't worry; when this video launched her into the spotlight in early '98, Mya was of age. ...I think.

*checks Wikipedia*

Yup, she was 19 (*exhales*). Which is just about the right age, I suppose, to be singing an ode to being selfish in the bedroom. This has to be the one and only time someone has simulated sex while wearing a fencing outfit.

Monday, December 1, 2014

Muppet Hooray

Does there need to be an explanation or lead-in for this? Can't we just enjoy the obscure beauty of the Muppets singing "Hip Hop Hooray"?

Smooth it out now...

Monday Kickstart: Booty Had 'Em

Since some of you us are going through a painful bout of withdrawal after three days of turkey, cranberry sauce, and lots of shots (*raises hand* guilty of all three!) on this first day of December, here's something to put a smile on your face (and maybe teach you something in the process)...

I haven't been to NYC in 25 years, and I was seriously concerned that I was going to make a guest appearance in that video. *double checks YouTube for versions filmed in Pittsburgh*

And for the final splash of cold water across your face, here's this week's inspiration, Ms. Lara Cole:

Guess now you need the cold water splashed elsewhere. You'll have to take care of that on your own, sinner.

Let's go.

Monday, November 24, 2014

Monday Kickstart: Pop Culture

Thanks to YouTube, you can once again watch TV commercials that you watched as a kid. But when you do, you quickly realize just how disturbingly far from reality the writing of those ads strayed. And if you were to crossbreed that TV-commercial-universe with real life... Well, you'd get this masterpiece by Aubrey Plaza and her pals.

I bet you'll be randomly singing that jingle to yourself all day. Ring Pop!

This week's inspiration is a woman I would be proud to have wearing my Ring Pop, Ms. Samantha RodrĆ­guez:

Te amo. Let's go.

Monday, November 17, 2014

Gettin' Real Tired of Your Shit

Pat ain't having it anymore.

Monday Kickstart: A Kinda New Day

The archaic laws of this country are slowly changing to adapt to modern day science and education. The key word there being "slowly."

One of the many reasons I'd like to hit the PowerBall: To have enough money that I wouldn't have to worry about getting caught up by pointless laws like those that criminalize marijuana use. Maybe one day we'll just admit that even the most powerful people in America, the people whose dollars operate the strings on the politicians who make the laws, like to toke up. And we'll all just move on. Maybe.

Time for this week's inspiration. There are many things I look for in the lady who I choose as the week's Kickstart model. Poise. Sophistication. Elegance. A bangin' body and a face that could launch a thousand ships to war. This week's choice, Ms. Terann Hilow, certainly has ample amounts of all of that. But what put her over the top is posing in an Oakland Raiders bikini:

As a lifelong Raiders fan, I can say without hesitation that this is the best that shield has looked for over a decade. Let's go.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Always Tip Your Servers

Say hi to Nina. Nina's fooling around with a bartender behind her husband's back. Nina's husband's best friend is a true best friend.

Monday, November 10, 2014

Monday Kickstart: Too Much

If you haven't seen this video yet...well, there's really no way to properly prepare you. Adult Swim produced and released it, and if you've seen late-80s-early-90s sitcoms, you'll recognize the theme right away. That is to say, you'll recognize the theme at the start. After that, well...

I really hope the people who wrote that get the professional help they need. If you watched that all the way through to the end (and let's be honest: once it starts, it's damn near impossible to look away), then you probably feel like you need your mind scrubbed. To help with that, allow me to introduce my new favorite DJ, the devastatingly sexy Adrienn Levai:

Let's go.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Throwback Thursday: "I Got a Man" -- Positive K

In the 90s, this was called "playing hard to get." In 2014, he'd probably be called a "slut shaming, catcalling stalker," but whatevs.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Monday, November 3, 2014

Monday Kickstart: War Eagle Hammertime

I'm about 12 hours late getting you kickstarted this week. All I can do is beg your forgiveness, and give you this fantastic video of the head coach of my beloved Auburn University football team getting it.


War damn Eagle, Gus. War damn Eagle.

And if you're looking for some inspiration to get you moving like Gus and his awesome footwork, how about the thought of some pooltime with Ms. Larissa Bartolo:

Let's go.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Yes, All Quarterbacks

Sure, having a PR job for an NFL team might sound like a fun job. But when you're faced with the brutal reality of those big, looming athletes being helplessly surrounded by merciless savages wearing press badges, you see things in a whole new light.

Monday, October 27, 2014

Monday Kickstart: #DeadGirlProblems

As much as people try to fill every inch of October with Halloween propaganda these days, there's really only about a week's worth of entertainment to come from it all. So to kick off that week, and kickstart the workweek, here's some people in Philly getting the shit scared out of them. You know, because Halloween. (...I think.)

So much to love in this video. The girl who had to be restrained by her boyfriend. The cat. The multiple guys who screamed and ran like little girls. Nothing gets the ol' heart pumping like a creepy girl popping out from the shadows.

Well, I mean, almost nothing does. She may not be creepy, but this week's inspiration, Ms. Rachel Mullins, can certainly cause your blood pressure to spike, even on a brightly-lit beach:

Let's go.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Throwback Thursday: "Doe or Die" -- AZ

"I gotta look like Tevin Campbell, but still I gamble/
Hustle and scramble, 'cause money is muscles in this damn zoo..."

AZ's still one of the best that ever did it.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

No Facts League

The more they try, the more the NFL just can't get anything right.

Monday, October 20, 2014

Monday Kickstart: Cocked and Ready for Danger

Navigating public transportation can be hard. Complete strangers crammed together, competing over stiff seats. And you always seem to end up stuck next to some prick.

...Psshh, what a dick.

This week's motivation comes all the way from Europe, in the form of gorgeous Dutch model Nancy Lynn De Ronde:

Let's go.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Throwback Thursday: "Testify" -- Common

I'm usually not a fan of videos that are turned into huge productions, but in this case it perfectly matches the cinematic rhyme that Common spits over one of Kanye's finer beats. And any extra chance to see Taraji's fine self, I'm all for it.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

A Beautiful Symphony

Because, who among us couldn't stand to be a little more cultured?

Tuesday Kickstart: Those Who Can't, Twerk

I should probably start this post by warning you not to go any further if you've been feeling a tad suicidal lately.

From Playboy:
Teaching is a noble profession. Without teachers, how would people learn the necessary skills to get through life? Likewise, twerking also provides a valuable service to the community. How else would young men satisfy their badonkadonk cravings?

Jessica Vanessa decided we had too many of the former and not enough of the latter so the Florida schoolteacher left her job to twerk professionally. That might sound stupid, but it's not. Advertisers pay her six figures to create bootylicious videos for her more the 2 million Vine followers. And if the twerking trend eventually dies down, she can go back to teaching where young men will continue admiring her rear end while she's writing on chalkboards.

This is all so confusing to me. Every fiber of my admittedly-cynical being wants to clown the hell out of this woman for being a "professional twerker," but...she's making more than twice my yearly salary by doing it. Really, it's not even right for me to post this as a Kickstart. Who feels any kind of motivation to attack the workweek now that they know shaking their ass on the internet pays better? A lot better. *sigh*

Hell, now I'm not even sure that a certified stunner like Yesenia Bustillo could help cheer me up:

...okay, she can. She definitely can. Let's go.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Throwback Thursday: "2nd Round KO" — Canibus

This song blew up overnight. Most people (beyond the underground scene) had barely ever heard of Canibus when he appeared on LL's "4, 3, 2, 1" (where the virtual-unknown stole the show). Then a few weeks after that track hit the airwaves, "2nd Round KO" came out of nowhere like an assassin in the night to wipe Cool James's days as a feared emcee off the planet. From the the coup of getting Iron Mike Tyson to cameo, to the line-for-line lethal lyrics—many of which call out LL on everything people were afraid (at the time) to say about him in public, this track was like a audio guerrilla warfare, polarizing and downright brutal. LL tried to respond with "The Ripper Strikes Back," a god awful attempt at flexing lyrical muscle he just didn't have at that point in his career.

At the time of this song's release, I actually had some people tell me—speaking from some kind of ridiculous slave mentality—that Canibus, no matter how badly LL had wronged him, was wrong for challenging LL, simply because he was a hall of fame emcee. Fuck. That. LL deserved everything he got. Like Chris Rock said, "ain't no one above an ass-whoopin'."

Monday, October 6, 2014

Going Out on Top

Sometimes SNL has no chill.

Monday Kickstart: Can't Even

Being that it's Monday morning, I'm guessing most of us can sympathize with this cat named Simon, who is coming up short on fucks to give.

From Tastefully Offensive:
Morgan James took his cats, Simon and Wash, to his local park for some outside adventure, but Simon wasn't having any of it.

Ironic that it's the active cat that's named "Wash." And why, exactly, is this guy trying to walk cats? I love cats, I grew up with cats in my household, and I never once thought trying to take them for a walk would be anything short of insane. Looks like Simon agrees with me.

But, like with Simon and his owner, this workweek is going to insist upon dragging us with it, no matter how much we resist. Maybe Ms. Daniella Dior can help put us in a more businesslike state of mind:

Let's go.

Friday, October 3, 2014

On the Spot

This kid's flow is ridiculous. And you've gotta love his mom and dad not only being at the studio, but being involved in the video. There's a lot of promise here.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Throwback Thursday: "Oochie Coochie" -- MC Brains ft. Tam Rock

This is officially an IDGAF post. This track was just fun when it was released, and easily captured my 13-year-old attention. Therefore it forever holds a spot in my heart. Yeah, it's obnoxious. And the lyricism sucks. And it's slightly demeaning to women. But let's see how you young bucks feel about "Anaconda" 22 years from now.

Monday, September 29, 2014


Wendy's just won it all with this one.

Monday Kickstart: Setting the Mood

Honestly, this is a million times better than any of the real Cialis ads.

...and nine months later, Iggy Azalea was born.

And if you need something even stronger than Cialis Turnt to get you going, then look no further than Miss October 2013, Carly Lauren:

Let's go.

Friday, September 26, 2014

Monday, September 22, 2014

Respect My Gangsta: Charlo Greene

If Charlo isn't already married, I'm proposing just as soon as my flight to Alaska lands. Go figure the only black woman in Alaska is gangsta as fuckkkk...

[You'll need to turn up the sound, the quality is pretty bad.]

For more on the tale of this gangsta that's stolen my heart, check out Mashable.

Monday Kickstart: Friend or Foe

If you want to find out who someone truly is, just be sure to ask the right questions.

Yeah, that new Key & Peele is going to be real. Season Four is just a few days away.

For this week's inspiration, allow me to introduce the intoxicating Alee Rose:

Let's go.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Throwback Thursday: "One Sweet Day" -- Mariah Carey ft. Boyz II Men

Last week, we skipped the regular weekly Throwback Thursday post. Normally that's a sign of me either being too tied up with work, or too absent-minded to remember to put together a post. Neither was the case in this instance, however.

Those who've paid attention have surely figured out that my attention was shifted elsewhere by the sudden and gut-wrenching news I received that morning. In my writings for this site I'm always honest, first and foremost, so I'll tell you that I can't remember a 72-hour period during my life when I've shed more tears. You'll forgive me, then, for this week's Throwback being of a decidedly different nature than the norm.

Given these recent events, though, nothing seems more fitting than this song. Otis was an incredible singer, and a huge fan of R&B. And this 1995 Mariah and Boyz II Men hit harkens back my high school years, when Otis, myself, and the rest of our crew seemed to have the whole world ahead of us. The photos and stories my friends and I have shared this past week have brought that time back to mind vividly and often. I can only hope we get to experience that feeling again in the next life, homie. Love you, O. Be at peace, and rest knowing we all miss you.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Monday Kickstart: The Taste of Self-Centeredness

This clip has been around the internet for a few weeks, but casual racism has been around for a lot longer than that, sooo...

Post-racial America, indeed. Shifting the focus towards more positive aspects of our society, this week's inspiration is a friend of a friend, who's doing her thing out there in the modeling world. I'm speaking, of course, about Pittsburgh's own Mia Bella:

(And for those of you wondering: Yes, she's just as cool as she is hot.) Let's go.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

The Most Powerful Weapon

I've been... I've been better. These last few days have been a strange mixture of nostalgia and regret, connection and loss, hopelessness and resolve. I can hear 18-year-old versions of Otis and I laughing like ghosts on a fall breeze. And as difficult as I've found this week on a personal level, the world is seemingly falling apart around all of us, from Ferguson to Iraq to everywhere in between. I think I'm ready for a restart. I think I'm ready for the world to begin again, like Prince EA talks about here. Even if it doesn't mean seeing O again, at least it would mean creating a world that would do justice to the short time he got to spend here.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Love is Love

I had a dear friend. Someone killed him.

I suppose that, in and of itself, doesn’t make me much different than a large portion of people on this planet. And, at 35, it’s certainly not the first time I have dealt with death. But this feels different. Maybe the shock hasn’t worn off yet. Maybe it never will.

Otis, for several years of my life, was like a brother to me. We hung out at family barbecues, we cracked jokes and wasted away days, we chased girls at the mall and drank St. Ides Special Brew at graduation parties. We knew each other in middle school, became friends in high school, and then were half of a strong crew of friends through our college years. No two members of that foursome went to the same school after high school, mind you. But we didn’t even consider the thought of not kicking it with each other when two or more of us were home for a weekend or a holiday.

We worked on music together. E and Chris were masterful emcees with brilliant flows. I was the apprentice of sorts; skillful with a pen and a pad, but still raw when it came to making it all sound right on a mic. O, though, was probably the most naturally gifted of all of us. The brother’s pipes were legit, and he could stop a room with one note. He even sang at our high school graduation, something I had somehow forgotten until talking to my mother on the phone today.

Life happens, of course. You can try to fight it, but time eventually pulls each of you in a different direction. Guys get jobs, guys get girlfriends and wives, guys move. In the last ten years or so I hadn’t seen Otis—not in person. I hadn’t talked to him frequently, though the odd Facebook conversation, often centering around one or both of our birthdays (mine fell just two weeks after his on the calendar) was known to happen. Maybe we weren’t still brothers, but the mutual love never wavered. Maybe we were still brothers.

I was there when O brought home his first car, a used ‘97 Mitsubishi Gallant in pristine condition. He was there when Shanti ended my first summer romance. And he was there when subsequent summer romances with Jen and Julie came and went. I wasn’t there when he finally came out to someone in our crew, though. It was something that ate at me. I knew it was up to him to do it when he was ready, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say it hurt just a twinge that I wasn’t one of the first people he confided in about it. But no matter what, that love between us was never in jeopardy. We were brothers.

Otis never really liked it in Pittsburgh. None of us professed to, though the rest of us are still here. But O got out, having moved to Florida not long after college. Talking to him after that felt like talking to a new man.

He grew up in a deeply Christian family and background, and I can only guess that it contributed to him feeling at odds with who he truly was. We tend not to think of our world as a very tolerant one today for gay men and women because more than half the states in America won’t let them marry. But when you compare that to what things were like just 15 years ago, when a young man had to pretend he was something he wasn’t simply out of fear that his closest friends and family would disown him, it gives you hope. Florida seemed to give O hope. He was free from the burden he’d lived with for most of his life in Pennsylvania, and was ready to embrace his new life in the Sunshine State.

For reasons I’ll never understand, that new life ended at 35.

People, especially those speaking in Christian rhetoric, talk about loving everyone. Loving your neighbor and your common man, even loving your enemies. Otis had one of those rare souls that was truly full of love. Love for everything and everyone. I’m not a religious man, and have often found it naĆÆve at best when hearing those who practice the Christian faith speak of this blind love for all that surrounds you. But Otis was the light that stopped me from totally shutting the door on that philosophy.

Even if he didn’t like you, he didn’t truly hate you. And if he did like you, he showed you no mercy when jokes started flying. He cut up with the best of us, and wouldn’t hesitate to clown you when an opportunity presented itself. But somehow he was always laughing with you and not at you, his eyes shut tight and two big rows of teeth flashing as he convulsed with laughter. There was always laughter.

I had a dear friend brother. Someone killed him.

The laughter, though? That will always live on. Rest in peace, homie. Be there with pound and a hug when I join you.

Throwback Thursday Bonus: Death Row Records Freestyle

They say all you need is one mic. But you really don't even need that, so long as you have The D-O-double-G, Kurupt, and Daz rhyming while Dr. Dre holds it down on the soundboard piano.

Monday, September 8, 2014

Name Games

Consider this the blue collar contribution to today's "fuck this job" vibe.

Monday Kickstart: Take this Job and...

Job interviews are the worst. We all talk shit about people who get hired solely because they're related to the CEO or their aunt was sorority sisters with the VP of Sales; but the truth of the matter is we'd all gladly go that route if we had the opportunity. No one wants to sit through a forced interaction with a complete stranger for an hour, trying make them believe you're actually worth paying money to every couple of weeks.

Something tells me, though, that this week's inspiration, Miss Lindy Elyse, could charm the corner office out of any prospective employer:

Let's go.

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Who Are You?

Some of the most intelligent and deep sentiment on Ferguson (and everything else). Prince EA is a smart man.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Throwback Thursday: "I Ain't Mad At Cha" -- 2Pac ft. Danny Boy

Everyone knows this track. While I've always loved it, the video has always been tarnished for me by its eerily prophetic premise and timing: Tupac was gunned down on Sept. 7, 1996 and died Sept. 13th; this video was released on Sept. 15th.

R.I.P. Tupac

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

An Ass Whoopin' -- with a Twist

That...took a weird turn.

Word to my boy Pro on the find.

Watch Your Step

I'll say this for them: These dudes are fearless. Stupid, but fearless.

Tuesday Kickstart: America's Funniest

Nobody hates the America's Funniest Home Videos/Full House version of Bob Saget more than Bob Saget.

He's spent the last 10 years throwing shade at his former self. Don't get me wrong—it's mostly been hilarious. But that just isn't sustainable for long. At some point he's going to have to find a new shtick.

On the other hand, if Nicole Mejia spends the next ten years doing what she's doing and looking this good, you won't hear me complaining:

Let's go.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Kidnapping Prank

This is dirty. Thank god his boy is white. Playing this trick on a black man would basically be telling him "You're going to die in less than an hour."

The Dark Knight Merges

I thought Batman moved to Paris at the end of TDKR, not Japan?

If you're someone who's lived in Japan who then moves here, America's got to be so boring to you doesn't it?

Throwback Thursday: "Big Bad Mama" -- Foxy Brown ft. Dru Hill

This video is so 90s. Even more so because it's from the "How to Be a Player" soundtrack, which means Bill Bellamy is all up in it.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Respect My Gangsta: B-Real

While most of the anti-Ice Bucket Challenge sentiment out there has purely been self-absorbed whining, the one legitimate counter-argument I've heard is that a lot of the people—celebrities especially—doing the challenge live in Southern California, where water resources are drying up rapidly. B-Real, therefore, came up with a beautiful solution:

I mean, it's from the earth, so returning it to the earth (well, whatever you can't sweep up and stuff into a bowl) is technically recycling.

Justified Outrage

As usual, Jon Stewart just gets it. Faux News is a disgrace to this country.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Tail Report: Hiromi Oshima

I think I'ma need a drink...

Welcome to the Game of Life

From College Humor:
This might be the greatest and freakout video I've ever seen. It's at least as good as the video from a few years back with the kid who shoves a remote control up his butt after his mom deletes his WOW account. The scene unfolds like an epic tragedy, opening with "Halo?! There's no fucking Halo?!" From there we're taken to a showdown on the back lawn with the son pleading to his father for the mercy of his games. Mercy will not be shown, and there will be no survivors.

They rightly point out that this is, in all likelihood, staged. They also rightly point out that it doesn't matter because this kid's performance is hilarious.

Monday, August 25, 2014

What Does It All Mean

I'm mad I never saw this Kobe System ad before. It would take an ego like Kobe's to put Kanye's ego in check.

Monday Kickstart: Wet Thoughts

Nick Offerman seems like a nice guy. Which makes it kind of awkward that I wish he actually was Ron Swanson.

From Mashable:
Nick Offerman, with all his grizzled wisdom and vocal gravitas, sat down to share the most profound things ever pondered in a shower.

The tidbits of brilliance originated on r/ShowerThoughts, a subreddit awash with soapsuds-covered cleverness.

If you enjoyed this video, please check out the r/ShowerThoughts Charity: water campaign and donate:

Typically I end each week's kickstart with a beautiful woman, to help inspire you to live the ensuing week to its fullest. This week I'm not doing that. Instead, I'm giving you five beautiful women, to help inspire you to give to a good cause.

From Playboy:
Always down for helping out with a charitable cause, Playmates Amelia Talon, Val Keil, Dani Mathers, Kimberly Phillips and Anna Sophia Berglund accepted Cooper’s #IceBucketChallenge and did their part to raise awareness and money to fight ALS. The Playmates have challenged their social media followers--numbering about one million in all--to pour ice water on themselves for a good cause.

And for every Playmate who takes the Ice Bucket Challenge, records it and posts it, Playboy will donate $100 to the ALS Association.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

The Chain Remains

I'm not even going to speak on this. It's not that I don't want to—believe me. I just don't trust myself to speak from a position of clarity. Thankfully, Jinx from Complex does better than I probably could ever have in discussing the shooting of a man in St. Louis this week, only so many miles away from the site of Michael Brown's murder.

Challenging Thought

So much love goes to Orlando Jones for this video.

A note from Jones:
This is a very serious disease* so I gladly accept the “bucket challenge”
*My heart goes out to all those who struggle with ALS but I am, of course, talking about the disease of apathy. If (and hopefully when) Michael Brown’s killer is brought to justice and convicted of 1st degree murder, it still won’t prevent this from happening again. We cannot accept this as the status quo. We MUST continue the fight at the ballot box, in the media and by working to create systemic change. I’m not naive to the dirty politics (redistricting, voter ID requirements, etc) that will try to prevent us from our goal. But I refuse to give up hope. My “bullet bucket challenge” is not about pointing fingers and it’s not about being angry. Every shell casing in that bucket represents the life of someone who fought and died in the goal for civil rights and human dignity. As a member of law enforcement (yes I really am a reserve sheriff) I will not stand idly by while others violate civil and human rights under the cover of authority and I will insist that other good cops rise to the same standard as well. As a black man I will demand more from myself and my community. I will not allow outsiders to co-opt our struggle in order to commit violence in our name. I’m channeling my outrage into action so I no longer feel powerless. It’s not about black or white. It’s not about rich or poor. It’s about us vs. them. There are more of us — from all races, genders and identities — then there will ever be of them. And we will be victorious.
"The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in times of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality"
Join me.

Real Talk: Talib Kweli

If you're going to bring a brother as intelligent as Talib Kweli on to speak on something as complex and polarizing as Ferguson, at least let him speak, Don.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Real Talk: John Oliver

They say that the best way to objectively look at a situation is to step back and view it from the outside. Perhaps that's why John Oliver, a native of the UK, is able to so keenly identify and address the problems surrounding what's going on in Ferguson, MO—and the United States in general—right now. If the people in Missouri's government and Ferguson's police department took the time to do the same, the tragedy of Michael Brown's murder may never have happened.

Monday Kickstart: Tight Situation

If you're not a baby, you probably shouldn't try to sit in a baby's highchair at a restaurant. You don't see babies pretending to be grown men, paying the bill and hitting on the waitress, do you? Of course not. Babies know their role, so know yours.

His friends didn't seem very interested in helping him free himself. Who can blame them? When you get to experience a hilarious fail like that, you never want the moment to end.

This week's motivation is far from a fail, but that doesn't mean we ever want Annabelle Alana's moment to end, either.

Let's go.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Video: Dee-1 -- "Jay, 50, and Weezy"

This shit is too real. This brother got a strong mind to go with the strong flow and strong lyrics.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Throwback Thursday: "Problems" -- AZ

Seriously, how hasn't AZ gotten a lifetime achievement award yet? He's spit fire since day one, while clowns like Lil Wayne get all the attention.

*goes off to dig this album out of his crates*

Monday, August 11, 2014

Deep Breath

It's 2014, and we still haven't solved the problem of the Blu Klux Klan.

From YouTube:
In the YouTube video 100 people wearing black T-shirts harmonized in a solemn hum while poet Daniel J. Watts recited a fiery poem entitled I Can’t Breathe — a reference to Garner’s fateful encounter with police.

On July 17th, Garner, a 43-year-old Staten Island man was confronted by police for allegedly selling untaxed cigarettes. The police tried to handcuff Garner but when he refused they placed him in a chokehold. The incident was captured by an onlooker’s cell phone camera. The father of six can be heard telling police repeatedly that he could not breathe. However, the police officers ignored his plea. Garner died on the scene.

Monday Kickstart: Got that Fever

It's Monday morning. I hate everything, too. But when faced with these circumstances, there's really only one thing to do: watch a video of a little kid owning the dance floor at a wedding.

Here's hoping we all attack the week like that kid attacks the beat.

And if you need something a little stronger in the motivation department, maybe Valeria Orsini can help:

Let's go.

Friday, August 8, 2014

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Bottomless Love

Seriously, Ali's my kind of people. I don't even mean it in a sexual way when I say I want to have a No Pants party with her. Real talk.

Throwback Thursday: "Full of Smoke" -- ChristiĆ³n

I'm the man, today...can't tell me nothin'...

The Roc hasn't produced a more chill act ever.

Posterizing Mom

Lin was made to be a Laker.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Deep Relief

Improv Everywhere decided to bring some relaxation to the NYC underground. If they ever decide to do this in Pittsburgh, I'm in.

From Tastefully Offensive:
Improv Everywhere's creator, Charlie Todd, explains: "For our latest mission, we turned a New York City subway platform into an unauthorized luxury spa. NYC’s un-air-conditioned platforms can feel like a sauna in the summer, so we figured we might as well embrace the heat."

Monday, August 4, 2014

Monday Kickstart: Crazy in Love

My boy T.C. sent me this video, along with the comment, "I like the zone with girls named Tiffany, hair dressers, and strippers." So do I, man. So do I.

I don't know where Krystal Fang falls on the Hot/Crazy matrix, but I'd love a chance to find out.

Let's go.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

In Why See

Everything I expect when I finally get to visit my homegirl Steph in Astoria.

Found by my homie Profound.

Throwback Thursday: "Ryde or Die, Chick" -- L.O.X. ft. Timbaland and Eve

Pshh, I'm still looking for mine. Welcome to 1999, when Ruff Ryders ruled the world, and Eve was walking through street parties with no bra, knocking it out way before sideboob was a thing.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

The Ultimate Driving Machine

Garo Haroutiounian has an E46 (the body type) BMW. I, too, have an E46 BMW. Apparently, I've been driving my E46 BMW wrong all this time.

From Jalopnik:
I'm struggling for words to describe everything mind-blowingly awesome in this video of Garo Haroutiounian in his BMW E46 hillclimb car.

One Dropped

There's bad beats. There's sick bad beats. And then there's astronomically-impossible-odds-working-against-you-at-the-worst-possible-time bad beats. First place in this year's One Drop was good for over $15 million. Connor Drinan had a good shot at it...until he didn't.

You know how your stomach hurts after watching a man take a swift kick to the nuts? Well, guys do. Ladies, just take our word for it; it feels roughly the same as you'll feel after watching this hand.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Monday Kickstart: Save Them

I've never owned a single pair of Jordans. But I get it.

Saturday night I was out for one of my neighborhood's summer street festivals, and I was wearing my brand new canvas sneaks. And it started to rain. I came home around 1:30, fall-over drunk, and spent another half hour washing and drying my shoes.

So yeah... I get it.

Another treasure worth protecting at all costs? Emma Green.

Let's go.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Like a Glove (Go Kart Edition)

This kid's all business.

Trailer: Hot Tub Time Machine 2

I was kind of meh about the first one. It's good for an afternoon watch when there's no other options. This one...I don't know. It looks a bit funnier (not that the editing in a trailer is the most reliable of tells), and somehow I think that might actually be a result of Adam (Cusack's character) not being around this time. He was the solemn center throughout the last one, while Robinson, Corddry, and Duke's characters set the comedic tones. By removing the gravitas of Adam's existential mid-life crisis, you leave behind a ton of room for the other three to go nuts. And the chemistry between them is certainly much stronger the second time around—that harmonized "You're a nerd" clowning near the end is brilliant.

This might just be worth the price of a ticket and a large popcorn. [Warning: This clip is NSFW...unless you live in Europe, or other unoppressed parts of the world. In other words, there's boobs in it.]

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Throwback Thursday: "Why?" -- Jadakiss ft. Anthony Hamilton

Has it really been 10 years since this came out? Damn it...getting old is fucking horrible. But enough about me...

This song walked that fine line between "gimmicky" and "freshly original." When this came out, you could almost feel Jada within grasp of his potential. It felt like he was about to put it all together and hit that next level. Sadly, he never did. Why? Good question.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Monday Kickstart: Age Ain't Nothing But a Number

It's another Monday. It's hotter than hell outside, you're stuck inside, and the summer's already more than halfway over. When life throws its shit at you, all you can do is say "Fuck it" and dance.

I hope I'm half as lively when I'm his age. Hell, I hope I'm half as lively tomorrow. It's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day negatives in the world. But when that happens, try this: stop, take a deep breath, and walk forward. Or dance forward. Just don't retreat.

And if you need a little extra help with feeling young and energized, try Bex Robertson and her great selfies:

Irish eyes—and everything else—are definitely smiling. Let's go.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Fish Out of Water

You know that whole thing about black people not knowing how to swim is a false stereotype, right?


Built for Pleasure

Normally, if you're describing a video to someone, and three of the words you use are "big," "boobs," and "bouncing," you might as well shut up at that point and just take my money. But this...

From 96.1 Kiss in Pittsburgh:
There is such a thing as the Museum Of Sex in New York City. The MOS will open an exhibit this week featuring a unique bouncy house. A giant bouncy-booby castle in fact...

Found by girl Alex.

Say Anything

All of this. All. Of. This. How mad was she when the anesthesia wore off and someone sent her the YouTube link?

Monday, July 14, 2014

All Hail Broke Loose

If you ever plan on hitting the beach in Russia, be sure to bring along some sunscreen...and a force field.

Monday Kickstart: To Thine Own Selfie Be True

I'm not innocent when it comes to taking selfies, especially when I'm drunk and/or Snapchatting. But I don't need therapy. Not yet. Some people, though...

Tripp and Tyler really hit the mark with this sketch. I know some dear friends who should call to see if the local YMCA is hosting a group session. Just saying...

This week's inspiration is a woman who can teach us all a thing or two about selfies, the absolutely stunning Ms. Fhedra Lobaton:

Gorgeous. Te amo, seƱorita. Let's go.

Friday, July 11, 2014


...sometimes I believe there may actually be a higher power at work.

*sets DVR to record every second of women's volleyball on ESPN, ever*

It's the Weekend

Time to wrap that shit up...

(from Buzzfeed)

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Monday, July 7, 2014

Monday Kickstart: Too Much to Handle

I love me some Ri-Ri, and I love me some Brooklyn Decker. But I don't love me some Brooklyn Decker as much as Ri-Ri loves her some Brooklyn Decker.

Sometimes it feels like I'm controlling Rihanna with my mind. *pauses...thinking, " up at my door tonight wearing that dress from the CFDA Awards..."*

*cough* Anyways...let's move onto this week's inspiration. It comes in the form of Playboy's Miss March 2013, the beautiful Ashley Doris:

Let's go.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

You Gon' Learn

Real talk, my mom was white, but really she was a black mom. Or maybe she just learned it from marrying a black man. Either way, she's the latter of these two moms. (And I'm all the better for it.)

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

High Enough to Touch the Stars

Jenny's my girl. She kills every scene she's in on Parks & Rec, House of Lies, Kroll Show, and everything else. And she was adorable in her spot on Drunk History. Not going to lie, I was a little upset when I found out that she's married. Her husband's a lucky guy. Especially if she gets this high with him.

Monday, June 30, 2014

Erykah Just Wanna Luh Ya

Erykah don't give noooooo fucks.

NEW YORK (PIX11) -- When PIX11′s Mario Diaz was wrapping up his report on the arrest of a celebrity behaving badly, another celebrity followed suit during his live shot.

Diaz was finishing up his live shot during the 5 p.m. news on the arrest of Shia LeBeouf when a woman in a large hat appeared behind him.

Trailer: Life After Beth

My schoolboy crush on Aubrey Plaza only grows stronger...

Monday Kickstart: Hit and Run

I mean, if you're going to fight sneakily, instead of standing toe-to-toe...this has got to be the realest way you can do it.

Some may call this video a bad example. But those are the delusional people. Realists, such as myself, understand that conflict is part of life. And physical resolution of that conflict is going to happen often, especially for kids too young to know how to handle it through cooler heads. Sadly, these days we're just as likely to see kids—even two this young—solve those physical conflicts with weapons instead of their fists. I look at this video with the thought that, maybe, someday those inevitable physical altercations will just be handled with fists and fancy bike skills, and kids will leave the guns alone. But then again, I'm a realist...

A bit of comedy, followed by a bit of social commentary. Let's finish this week's kickstart by putting a smile back on your face. Here to do that is Ms. Phoenix Skye:

Let's go.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Tail Report: Chrissy Teigen

If watching this video makes you suddenly feel hatred towards John Legend, don't worry, it's only natural.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Throwback Thursday: "Hot Boyz (Remix)" -- Missy Elliott ft. Nas, Eve, & Lil' Mo

This track would've been so much hotter without Missy involved. By '99 she'd moved past her 15 minutes of fame, and all of the younger acts like Lil' Mo were poised to take over. Hindsight being 20/20, that probably should've happened in '98.

This is still one of the must underrated beats of all time. So simple, but so crucial. I'm guessing it just didn't get as much love as it should've because...well, it had Missy Elliott rapping on it.