Thursday, October 22, 2015

Throwback Thursday: "Da Rockwilder" — Method Man & Redman

Full disclosure: I hate this song. Okay, "hate" is probably too strong of a word. But I've never been impressed by it. It's only value was that it got asses shaking at hall parties. Aside from that? Meh.

So why am I posting it? Well, mostly because I'm writing this at 12:30 Wednesday night, I haven't put up a Throwback track in three weeks, and I'm lazy.

But I've chosen this instead of an MC Hammer track because I know people—whose opinions on music I trust—who love this song. So turn up the volume. Hopefully you'll find what those people found in it.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Sam I Am

I don't know if you've heard about You're the Worst. These days, you can barely tell what has reached the people from what hasn't. One second critics are hailing shows like Mr. Robot, the next execs are cancelling Community (I'll never forgive you for that, NBC).

Here's the thing, though: You should have heard about You're the Worst, because it's kind of the best. Currently running its second season, the FXX sitcom features some of the best writing and acting available for consumption on television these days. Even more striking, it features female characters that dominate every scene they touch, with a ferocious sense of self-worth tempered by a jolting self-awareness. People who get paid to talk about entertainment these days normally eat that stuff up. Or, at the very least, they claim to.

But the most dynamic character on the show is not a star, or featured character. It's Brandon Mychal Smith's "Sam," a hardcore rap artist with a firm command of both vocabulary and life.

On this woefully unappreciated sitcom, on a TV station whose name sounds like an aisle sign in Radio Shack, we have found the most unabashedly unique black character in our modern generation. Sam does not tap dance for the white people who surround him in nearly every scene, nor does he impose physical violence upon them as a means of self-affirmation. He's an educated and strong man, who proudly defines the world around him instead of letting it define him.

I pray this show survives to keep bringing its excellent timing and hilarious dialogue for several more years. And more importantly, to teach screenwriters in Hollywood that a black character can not only work, but excel when not forced to fit into one of the few predefined categories that they're most comfortable with.

Damnit White People, You're Mad at Star Wars Now?!?!?!

This just has to be HAS to be.

So #‎BoycottStarWarsVII‬ is a "thing" and it makes me want to slap someone. By thing I mean people are trying to start a movement to boycott the movie because a black Storm Trooper is somehow unfathomable and the fact that he is a main character is somehow an affront to white people (again this just HAS to be trolling).

Space Darkies in a fictitious cinematic universe threatens the power of white people in America.


Look, let me explain this to you. Happening to have a Darkie in a lead role in a fictional movie that exists in a galaxy far far away is not White Genocide. Nevermind genocide has a very specific meaning 


the deliberate killing of a large group of people, especially those of a particular ethnic group or nation.

Last time I checked no one was ethnically cleansing white folks in America. No one is rounding white folks up and sending them to gas chambers. So stop that silly shit.

Mind you this isn't the first time this has happened in film.

So let me get this straight

This bothers you                                    

This bothers you                                                     

This bothers you                      

This bothers you                        
But this shit is totally acceptable

What kind of ass backwardness is this? Especially when you are busy white washing ancient Egypt, you're doing it at a place that ACTUALLY EXISTS. WITH REAL PEOPLE WITH REAL FUCKING FEATURES.

This brand of racism pisses me off not because it's racist but because it's lazy as fuck.

If you wanna get worried about the position of white people in this country because black and brown people will soon outnumber you. AT LEAST THAT SHIT IS BASED IN REALITY. 

This is just lazy in every sense of the word.

Step your game up lazy racists.

#Start Nerd Rant

Don't give me the bullshit about black Storm Troopers not being canon because of the Clone Wars. 

1. everything you know about canon is no longer so due to the jettisoning of the Expanded Universe. 

2. the time period of the new movie is like 30 years after the events of Return of The Jedi. Fett Daddy's clones would be at least 50. 

3. Unless you kept making clones of the same fucker you are going to need new recruits and in a galaxy with multiple life having planets it's pretty plausible one of those systems had break dancing watermelon eating darkies on it.

#End Nerd Rant

This just HAS to be trolling. 

And it works because people have actually gotten pissed about shit like this mind you people actually argued if a black storm trooper was possible.

Lawd help these idiots

Monday, October 19, 2015

Monday Kickstart: Inspiration

It's 2015, and Vida Guerra is still one of the hottest women on the planet. If you haven't seen much of her lately, and subsequently thought maybe she'd fallen off, just give her Snapchat a follow (iamvidaguerra). Though, as amazing as her feed is, I almost feel like Vida shouldn't be on Snapchat. It feels almost disrespectful that any photo or video of her should ever be deleted.

Monday Kickstart: Positivity

Monday may be here, but no matter how much it kicks your ass, don't give it the satisfaction of getting you down.

You can't kill my vibe, Monday. Let's go.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Rough Waters

This is easily the whitest thing you'll ever see: Two drunk girls fighting while white water rafting in North Carolina.

Monday, October 12, 2015

Morning Kickstart: We need a Yrjö

Finnish solar power company Helen has a new series of ads—which, for some reason, are in English—featuring spokesman Yrjö. And Yrjö is fucking hilarious. Here he explains the company's new slogan.

The link above has three other commercials they've created with Yrjö. This guy needs his own TV show. I guarantee it lasts longer than that Geico caveman show. Though that's not really saying much.

Let's go.

Monday, September 28, 2015

Monday Kickstart: Inspiration

If you're a fan of Gotham, you'll recognize this week's inspiration as the stunning—and deliciously vicious—Tabitha Galavan.

Let's go.

Monday Kickstart: Can You Dig It?

This will make you simultaneously happy and sad. The crew from The Warriors got together for one last ride home to Coney Island.

The fact that they're all in their 50s and 60s now es no bueno. And in today's Hollywood, where every old film is being remade, how has Warriors been overlooked? It's a seminal piece of pop culture.

Maybe, then, the fact that it hasn't been remade is a good thing. Maybe it's the last sacred piece of film art on the planet. Maybe it should serve as an enduring inspiration, a shimmering monument to originality and creativity.

...But we'll probably hear about them shooting a remake starring Justin Bieber in a month or two. *sigh* Let's go.

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Throwback Thursday: "Rollout (My Business)" — Ludacris

It's hard to name a more entertaining rapper than Ludacris. Sure, you'd probably chill the fuck out hanging with Snoop, walk through Manhattan like a boss hanging with Jay, or hear a lifetime of stories hanging with Nas. But there can't be another emcee who you would have more pure fun rolling with than Luda.

Monday, September 21, 2015

Monday Kickstart: Inspiration

Swedish sensation Ines Helene is too good to be true.

Monday Kickstart: $ave Dat Money

After a weekend of debauchery (...if your weekend didn't involve any debauchery, you've done something wrong), we can all appreciate this ode to frugality by internet star Lil Dicky.

The amount of hustle it took to put together this video is insane. To get the private homeowner to let them use her place was impressive enough (and kudos to her for asking that, in return, donations be made to Planned Parenthood), but to get a Lamborghini dealer to let you take an Aventador out on the road for free? Dicky got game.

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Throwback Thursday: "Gin and Juice" — Snoop Dogg

One of those rare cases where a song was popular long before it was ever released as a single. An instant classic, people were bumping this the second Doggystyle got released.

Monday, September 14, 2015

...But Where Is The Outrage?

Zach Hammond, 19 years old, was fatally shot and killed by the police, seemingly over 10 grams of weed.

The police playbook has been opened and in full effect. Blah blah I was in danger, he tried to ram me with his car blah blah blah.

Now I am not making light of this situation. A young man lost his life under iffy circumstances at best and it appears he was a victim of excessive force and the engine of defense that more often times than not leaves police officers unaccountable for their actions is tuned up and going strong.

What is pissing me off here is his parents injecting race into the conversation because, minor detail, Zach is white. His parents are upset at the lack of a national outcry about their sons death (which they should be) but it's directed at the wrong people.

“It’s sad, but I think the reason is, unfortunately, the media and our government officials have treated the death of an unarmed white teenager differently than they would have if this were a death of an unarmed black teen,” Bland told The Washington Post this week. “The hypocrisy that has been shown toward this is really disconcerting.”

So lets read the coded language and general misunderstanding of reality involved in this statement.

By media do you mean the same media that couldn't wait to find the most unflattering pictures of victims as possible, de-humanizing them. How can you find sympathy for criminals? So Trayvon Martin was a thug who needed no sympathy to the point where people, through social media, attributed a picture of the rapper The Game as Trayvon.

Or the same media that couldn't wait to remind you Eric Garner sold loose cigarettes.

Or that Walter Scott owed back child support and how many time he was arrested.

Or that Michael Brown was a weed fueled animal who strong arm robbed a convenience store, tried to steal a cops gun and then charged after the cop after being shot.

"At this point it looked like he was almost bulking up to run through the shots, like it was making him mad that I’m shooting at him. And the face that he had was looking straight through me, like I wasn’t even there, I wasn’t even anything in his way."

- Darren Wilson's Grand Jury Testimoney

Or the family life of Tamir Rice.

Miss me with that.

And lets be 100 here when you say "government officials" you mean Good Ol President Darkie.

So what I think is going on here is that the question he really wants to ask but wont is where is all the outrage from BLACK PEOPLE. Why aren't the BLACK PEOPLE marching for his son?

To this I say you are asking the wrong damn people.

Where is the outrage from WHITE PEOPLE? Where are all the #AllLivesMatter hashtaggers?

First of all, do your own damn work. Since when is it my responsibility to convince you and others that there is a problem with excessive force in this country and the voracity in which officers are protected when they commit these acts only emboldens them as they fear no repercussions. They believe can plant evidence (see Walter Scott), lie in their official accounts of events (see Tamir Rice and John Crawford) or not even bother to identify themselves as police officers (see Steve Blake) and will not be held accountable

I can't even convince people that racial prejudices can and do sneak into police interactions with people (which is why in New York People of Color are subjected to Stop and Frisk far more often then whites though whites are found to be in possession of contraband far more (by percentage of total and total amount) than People of Color.

Whites Are Almost Twice As Likely To Be Found With A Weapon

The NYPD and politicians have repeatedly justified the racial disparity in stop and frisks saying that they cops essentially go where the guns are, i.e. minority neighborhoods. Yet, only 1.9 percent of frisks in 2011 turned up weapons and interestingly, according to the NYCLU, "a weapon was found in only 1.8 percent of blacks and Latinos frisked, as compared to a weapon being found in 3.8 percent of whites frisked."

I can get people to admit to me "when I see someone driving erratically I presume they are Asian" but somehow that same logic and "racial transference" is impossible with police officers.

If you want justice for your son then challenge your fellow white people to confront their own assertions about the police. To admit there is an issue. Form protests, speak out. Don't just blame the shit on black people.

To ask where is all the black outrage is to ask the wrong questions to the wrong people. Question white people.

Ask them how they can be so supportive of police when (pick a darkie any darkie's) situation is the same as their sons. Why does their son have to go through the same slander and dehumanizing that  (pick a darkie any darkie) did? How can you say #AllLivesMatter in response to #BlackLivesMatters but not speak out for their son?

But asking these question are problematic because those people wont respond. They cant because:

1. Having to all of a sudden backslide on the unwavering consistent support of police (#BlueLivesMatter) when white people are victims exposes their own inert or intentional racism because there is no bend, no wavering when the victim is black even though the situation is damn near identical.

2. That racism skirt is pulled up and they are exposed because there was no outrage from them when black victims are in the same situations as this young man (Hammond’s).

Or maybe white people can admit this is different. Though the circumstances are the same the vibe is different. This feels like an aberration and not the norm. There wont be screaming #AllLivesMatter or #BlueLivesMatter at his funeral. There will be no memes suggesting because he was a criminal (and he was) he deserved to die. There wont be GoFundMe accounts created to help with the officer's "legal defense"

To do so would be in poor taste and would be vile. Funny how that applies to some people and to others it does not.

Where is the outrage?

Ask a white person and see what they say...Everything I've read about it in social media has been from people of color.

Instead of blaming them maybe you should start realizing that maybe those crazy #BlackLivesMatter people have a point. Maybe instead of assuming #BlackLivesMatter really means ONLY #BlackLivesMatter you listen to what people are saying and have been saying

He added: “The issue should never be what is the color of  the victim. The issue should be: Why was an unarmed teen gunned down in a situation where deadly force was not even justified?”

It should when it disproportionately happens to one section of people over another but I digress.

We've been saying the same thing you are just too busy blaming President Darkie and the rest of us People of Color to see that I want, WE want race to not play a part in any of it. To be treated as a human being. As an equal. I dont want to be judged by my pants or my minor offenses or how I speak or how uncomfortable I make you because of your own issues and prejudice.

Matter of fact let me know when you get rid of this shit, and then maybe then you can be outraged and blame all of us, including President Darkie.

Dont worry, I'll wait...

Equal Opportunity

I love L.A. It's my homeland, and the sun and relaxed atmosphere give me the warm and fuzzies when I think about them. But, perhaps more than anywhere else, image is everything in that town. And that's true for all sexes.

And, while we're at it, I love Ali. She's a Pittsburgh girl that knows how to have fun. But if I had to choose between getting into a regular car with her and a Lambo with Stevie? Well...

Monday Kickstart: Inspiration

Let the lovely Natalie Loren give you reason to get on your grind this week.

Let's go.

Monday Kickstart: Honest Beginnings

I don't date anymore, and watching this was a both painful and vindicating reminder of why.

Sunday, September 13, 2015