Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Top 10 NBA Free Agents (and where they're going)

With the craziest NBA free agent signing period ever beginning in just a few hours, I'm tired of listening to all the rumors so I've decided to just let you know what's going to happen.

10. Ray Allen, SG, Boston Celtics: Great shooter, very inconsistent and at the end of his career.

Likely Signing With: Boston Celtics. Possibly whatever team Lebron signs with to be the wide-open three-point shooter and pick up two more rings before he retires.

9. David Lee, PF, New York Knicks: Tremendous rebounder and role player in the prime of his career.

Likely signing with: New Jersey Nets or New York Knicks.

8. Carlos Boozer, PF, Utah Jazz: Great scoring and rebounding power forward, potential all-star. Horrible timing with becoming a free-agent this year where there are at least four power forwards available that are better than him.

Likely Signing With: Los Angeles Clippers or New Jersey Nets.

7. Paul Pierce, SF, Boston Celtics: Strong scorer that can provide a go-to player for any team in the clutch.

Likely Signing With: Boston Celtics, possibly Los Angeles Clippers to play with childhood friend Baron Davis.

6. Joe Johnson, SG, Atlanta Hawks: Top scorer in the prime of his career. Younger version of Ray Allen.

Likely Signing With: New York Knicks to become their primary player.

5. Dirk Nowitzki, PF, Dallas Mavericks: Possibly the best pure scorer available, Dirk is unstoppable on offense.

Likely Signing With: Dallas Mavericks to finish his career where it started.

4. Amare Stoudemire, PF, Phoenix Suns: A beast in the post, he's got great offense and improving defense in the prime of his career.

Likely Signing With: Miami Heat to join forces with Wade.

3. Chris Bosh, PF, Toronto Raptors: Perennial all-star in the post that will loosen up any defense for outside shooters.

Likely Signing With: Chicago Bulls or Cleveland Cavs, wherever Lebron goes.

2. Dwyane Wade, SG, Miami Heat: Second best player in the NBA.

Likely Signing With: Miami Heat, possibly Chicago Bulls to play in his hometown.

1. Lebron James, SG, Cleveland Cavaliers: Best player in the NBA, probably will finish his career as the best ever.

Likely Signing With: Cleveland Cavaliers, Chicago Bulls, New Jersey Nets. This is a tough one to call. James is from Ohio and a loyal person but Chicago has the best opportunity to build a championship legacy. On the other hand, his good friend is a co-owner of the Nets.

Also, you heard it here first: Lebron James has purchased a mansion in New Jersey. This is not from any media outlets out there, but from a friend of a friend. Good to know real estate agents.

Download: Capone-N-Noreaga ft. Fat Joe and Rakewon "1st Degree Murder"

Why is Noreaga so much iller when Capone is on the track?? This is that good, late 90's NYC grimy thug music.

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Elin Gets $750 Million from Tiger

I was tempted to say that Tiger's new divorcee Elin "robbed" him, but I realize that he did dog her out for like (at least) 15 skanky hoes all over the west coast and NY.

Originally no one thought Tiger would have to pay this absurd amount, but then Elin's legal team exposed the bastard for millions (maybe billions) in hidden assets. Now, he is forking over 3/4 billion dollars to her. The good thing for Mr. Woods is that she can't talk about any of the business publicly, so he is avoiding future embarrassment. That seems to be a common theme in all these settlements that he's making with all these breezies he tell-all stories.

From the London Sun:
Wife Elin Nordegren, 30, gets the biggest payout ever seen in a celebrity divorce.

But she can never publicly speak out over his flings with socialite Rachel Uchitel, reality star Jaimee Grubbs, porn queen Joslyn James and up to 17 others, who will work out costing him 25 million pounds each.

A pal said: "Tiger's main fear is her telling her story after he's rebuilt his reputation, sending him back to the gutter."

"The price of the huge sum is her silence: no interviews, tell-all books, or TV appearances about this for the rest of her life -- even if Tiger dies first -- or she'll lose the lot."

Elin ended up with double the sum she originally sought, after her lawyers proved Tiger, 34, was worth much more than the $1 billion she thought.

Her friend explained: "Elin's legal team have done a great job digging up all sorts of assets.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Download: Big Boi Ft. T.I. "Tangerine"

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Viva Paraguay!

Now that Team USA has been eliminated from the World Cup, you may be looking for a team to cheer for as the quarterfinals start up on Friday. May I suggest Paraguay? The team from a small South American country-you-may-never-have-heard-of carries one very important feather in its cap: Larissa Riquelme.

A couple of weeks ago I reported on the deliciousness that is Miss Riquelme. And true Paraguayan fan that she is, Larissa has pledged to show her national pride hide if her boys win it all.

From The Huffington Post:
The 24-year-old beauty has pledged to run naked through the streets "with my body painted with the colors of Paraguay" if Paraguay wins the World Cup.

I need to get myself a Paraguayan flag. ...And a plane ticket

Spy Games

Yesterday the FBI arrested 11 members of a Russian spy ring in New York City, including a little red-haired temptress named Anna (or Anya) Chapman. Makes you wonder just what she was willing to do to get information out of you.

From The Huffington Post:

Mall Rat Fail

Thanks to "How I Met Your Mother", we all knew that Canadians love going to the mall. But this guy's enthusiasm for Cinnabon and Forever 21 is just a little more extreme.

Tail Report: F1 Girls

Those who know me know that I'm a rarity among Americans: I'm a huge fan of Formula One racing. F1 has innumerable advantages over other types of motorsports—even NASCAR. F1 has better drivers, better technology, faster cars, more challenging circuits, and on and on. But of all the many things that Formula One excels at, there's one area where it can never be surpassed: groupies. Beautiful women from around the globe flock to races, especially when the events are held at the some of the world’s more glamorous locations—Monaco, Singapore, Montreal, Sao Paulo, etc.

This past weekend’s race was held in Valencia, which is basically Spain’s Miami. And Red Bull (the same company that gives you something to mix your Jager with happens to fund and operate what is currently one of the most successful teams in the sport) decided to throw a little party at a rooftop pool bar. The following pictures are some of the many reasons why I dream of the day I get a job with an F1 team.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Capone-N-Noreaga "Camouflage Summer" Mixtape

XXL Download

Tail Report: Katy Perry

Just a Reminder...Russell Brand is a lucky, lucky bastard. From Katy's Esquire UK photo shoot:

Chris Brown's Gets All Emotional

By now you've surely heard about it: During last night's BET Awards, Chris Brown performed a tribute to Michael Jackson. The final piece of the act was supposed to be Brown singing Jackson's "Man in the Mirror"; however, while the music came on and Chris got the first few words of the song out, he quickly fell apart. And the question of the moment seems to be: was it real or fake? Did the embattled R&B star's emotions truly overcome him to the point where he couldn't even sing? Or was it all staged? It's tough to say, though I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt for now.

(About 4:40 is where things start to get a little awkward)

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Tail Report: Emmanuelle Chriqui

Just a reminder: Season 7 of Entourage starts Sunday night at 10 pm.

Stand and Deliver: Dave Chappelle

So great.

Throwback Thursday: "Die Without You" -- P.M. Dawn

Hard to deny that this was the jam when it hit the airwaves back in 1992. The boys were on some new-agey, "other" stuff; but they brought something fierce with this track. You can almost hear the panties hitting the floor. And since the song was part of the "Boomerang" soundtrack, you get to enjoy some Halle-in-her-prime eye-pleasing in the video. Not a bad bonus.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Dallas Cowboys = 2011 Super Bowl Champs?

I'm not normally one to bother with celebrity gossip (shut up), but found the news that Kim Kardashian has started dating Miles Austin interesting for one particular reason: In the last year plus, 2 NBA championships and 1 NFL championship have been won by guys involved with a Kardashian sister.

From Yahoo:
On June 6 -- more than two months after splitting from New Orleans Saints running back Reggie Bush -- the E! Reality star cuddled up with Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Miles Austin, 26, at Casa Vega in L.A.'s Sherman Oaks. "They sat in the back drinking margaritas," says a witness.

A source says Kardashian, 29, is taking things slowly. "They are dating," says a source close to her, "but she doesn't want to rush anything." Another Kardashian friend tells Us, "Kim wants to date someone who gets her busy lifestyle.

Personally, I think if you're smashing Kim, you're a winner with or without a trophy.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Phil Ivey Gets Bracelet #8 in $3k HORSE

Glad to see P.I. taking down a tournament this year. He also finished a disappointing 12th in another event.
We've witnessed Ivey destroy final tables in the past, but you never got the feeling that this title was his, until he got heads up. Bill Chen put up a great fight and excelled on the final table, but once Ivey got some momentum heads up, it seemed like there was only ever going to be one winner.

Katy Perry -- Best Fiancee Ever?

Russell Brand's life is definitely better than yours. He's had Kristen Bell grind on top of him in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"; his pops took him to a Hong Kong brothel when he was 16; and he's engaged to Katy Perry, who not only looks like this:

...but who has also made a special request of Rihanna, the friend handling her bachelorette party: Skin to win.

Perry has decided she won't hire a professional exotic dancer for the event because she wants Rihanna to cover the striptease duties.

She tells KISS FM DJ Nina Chantele, "(Rihanna) has all these ideas about everything. I want her to strip at my bachelorette party. She's going to get the message right now. She's hot, I love her!"

I can't quite tell if Katy legitimately wants to have all of the naughty bits that most of the internet has seen via Rihanna's hacked camera phone (thank you, Chris Brown) shook in her face, or if this is just playful girl-talk designed to get drooling guys around the world, Miss Perry).

Monday, June 21, 2010

Murcielago Burns Up the Road

...but not in a good way. As my man Pepper Brooks would say, "Ouchtown, population 'You,' bro!"

From The Huffington Post:
Despite all the fun in the sun, somebody's weekend definitely got ruined on Saturday.

Depending who you believe, either two car thieves torched somebody's Lamborghini Murcielago in Brooklyn Saturday afternoon or the car's owner watched it burn after it caught fire while driving on the BQE.

Follow Us On Twitter, Facebook

You can now follow both Kev and Defi on Twitter and Crooked Straight on Facebook. Both of us put up a lot of random shit including CrookedStraight updates, life updates and other rants on Twitter and the facebook page will post the newest updates to your facebook news feed. Let us know who you are and we'll follow you too.

Download: Gucci Mane "Mr. Zone 6" Mixtape

1. What Did You Expect
2. It’s Goin Up f. Bun B & Yo Gotti
3. Normal
4. Georgia’s Most Wanted
5. You Know What It Is f. Fozzie Bear
6. Mr. Zone 6
7. Rooftop
8. Koolin
9. Cowards And Soldiers
10. Dats My Life
11. Eastside Wassup
12. Stove Music f. Fozzie Bear & Yo Gotti
13. Makin Love To The Money
14. Birthday Bash 15
15. Socialite
16. Long Money

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Sunday, June 20, 2010

Download: Ron Artest "Champions"

This is much, much better than I expected. Do your thing Ron. For a bonus, I've posted his epic post-game press conference after the Lakers sealed the deal. This is a must-see.

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Lakers on Jimmy Kimmel

This is hilarious, guaranteed to have you laughing...a lot.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Download: The Ro ots "How I G ot Over" (Album)

Buy this album, these guys make great music.

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Thursday, June 17, 2010

Let's Go Lakers

Dear Kobe,

Make me proud. Please win by at least seven and keep the total score under 187.



Download: Kid Cudi "Revofev"

I've never been a big Cudi fan but I'm feeling this, maybe the kid is growing on me.

The first single off of Kid Cudi's upcoming album "Man On the Moon: The Legend of Mr. Rager," dropping in September.

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