Monday Kickstart: Perspective

The executives upstanding citizens dumbasses who run the Grammys sent a memo on Wednesday warning they didn't want female stars to bare too much skin. Are they insane? Why would anyone with two logical thoughts in their brain watch the Grammys if not for a chance to see beautiful women half-nekked? It's pretty much the only reason anyone does anything ever. These shit-for-brains suits should be forever grateful to Katy Perry for ignoring their memo.

Picture courtesy of my buddy Joe.

To the people behind the memo: Shut the fuck up.

Now, for the week's motivation, well...why not just give you the only two things that were really worth mentioning at last night's Grammy Awards:

Let's go.

"My President is Black..."

...and as I'm sure Katy will attest, you never go back. (What up though, girl?)

From The Huffington Post:

Katy Perry's doing her best get-out-the vote effort: At a rally for President Barack Obama, she wore a tight white dress imprinted like a ballot, and a square box on her right hip filled in the names of Obama and Joe Biden.

Perry gave a free concert at a park in a historically minority neighborhood just northwest of downtown Las Vegas to screaming fans at about 9 p.m., the same time Air Force One landed at McCarran International Airport across town.

It's the Weekend

Time to lend a helping hand...

Stalkerazzi: Katy Perry

...Because you're lying if you say you wouldn't.

Tail Report: 2012 Grammy Awards

My cousin was actually at the ceremony in L.A. last night, which means I'm extremely jealous of him. Not so much about going to the show itself—that just seems like a big waste of time. But the afterparties...damn. O.C., we're going to have some words next time you're in Pittsburgh, Cuzzo.


Katy Perry
She somehow manages to look reserved here (even with the aquamarine hair), but that rackage just refuses to go silently into the night. Damn.

Chrissy Teigen
I really, really, really, really, really, really, really want to hate on John Legend right now. But I can't. The brother's a pimp.

Alicia Keys
...I CAN, however, hate on Swizz. Damn Alicia looks thicker these days. Maybe she's still carrying some of the baby weight, but...she's damn sure carrying it well. (Fuck you, Swizz.)

Taraji P. Henson
MILFalicious (chocolate edition)...

Kate Beckinsale
MILFalicious (vanilla edition)...

Flo-Rida's Date
The press apparently didn't bother to get her name. They were probably too busy staring at her, uhh...accessories. I'm sure that's also why no one asked why Flo-Rida was worthy of red carpet photogs.

Rihanna
Including a picture of Ri-Ri almost feels mandatory anymore. Not that it isn't still totally worth it. Damn girl.

Just a Reminder

...In case you missed the news amidst all of the New Year's commotion: Katy's single again.

Game on, fellas.

[TJ with the assist.]

It's the Weekend

Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintance be forgot, and auld lang syne?...

Tail Report: 2011 MTV Video Music Awards

I almost feel obligated to put up these posts whenever there's a popular awards show on, no matter how slim the pickings are among the photo galleries I find. Maybe I'll update this post if I come across some new ones tomorrow.

...Maybe I'll give a fuck.

Kelly Rowland
I've always felt she was slightly underrated.

Kim Kardashian
Newly betrothed to the NBA's version of Lenny from "Of Mice and Men"...god I hope I'm one of the first guys she cheats on him with.

Katy Perry
Seen here with the world's luckiest C-list actor. I like Russell, I really do. If I ever met him, I'd probably throw a stiff right cross, then pick him up off the ground and hand him a beer.

Demi Lovato
Seen here with Selena Gomez (Demi's on the left...I'm 75% certain). I had to check Wikipedia before I felt safe in appreciating this picture of her (she turned 18 last year, so it's cool fellas).

Maria Menounos
It's been a while since I've seen a halfway decent picture of Maria. I'm not entirely sure why that is. From what I can see here, she hasn't exactly fallen off. Maybe she's just stayed out of the spotlight a little. (Yeah, right...)

It's Friday

Time to Smurf on some Smurfs...

Tail Report: 2010 MTV Video Music Awards

Pictures from last night's "white carpet".

Ashley Greene (Apparently she's an actress, or something? Who cares. Thighs and eyes, thighs and eyes. They'll get you every time.)




Rosario Dawson (Don't know where she's been lately, but she needs to come home. Call me, RoRo.)





Katy Perry (Yep...still hate Russell Brand.)





Audrina Patridge (Of course she was there. This is all she does, after all. Only in America can fame make the job, instead of the job making you famous. Audrina's got a sort of a young Sheryl Crow thing going on here. Maybe take some time away from the sun, shorty.)





Ke$ha (Nice to see something on her face other than...ummm...yeaaaahhhh...)

Tail Report: Katy Perry

Just a Reminder...Russell Brand is a lucky, lucky bastard. From Katy's Esquire UK photo shoot:

Katy Perry -- Best Fiancee Ever?

Russell Brand's life is definitely better than yours. He's had Kristen Bell grind on top of him in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"; his pops took him to a Hong Kong brothel when he was 16; and he's engaged to Katy Perry, who not only looks like this:




...but who has also made a special request of Rihanna, the friend handling her bachelorette party: Skin to win.

From MSN.com:

Perry has decided she won't hire a professional exotic dancer for the event because she wants Rihanna to cover the striptease duties.

She tells KISS FM DJ Nina Chantele, "(Rihanna) has all these ideas about everything. I want her to strip at my bachelorette party. She's going to get the message right now. She's hot, I love her!"

I can't quite tell if Katy legitimately wants to have all of the naughty bits that most of the internet has seen via Rihanna's hacked camera phone (thank you, Chris Brown) shook in her face, or if this is just playful girl-talk designed to get drooling guys around the world to...blog...about...it........(hmmm...well-played, Miss Perry).

Tail Report: 2010 MTV Movie Awards Red Carpet

This is more of an obligatory post than you'll usually find when it comes to "Tail Reports". Flipping through the red carpet photos from last night, there really didn't seem to be much to make the ol' mouth water. Each of these ladies has looked hotter at other times, in my opinion, but oh well.

Katy Perry (Her legs and see-through dress earned her the mention. I have to give Russell credit—she's a thoroughbred. And if she really is into kissing girls, then...I fully understand wifing her.)

Vanessa Hudgens (Always delish)

Scarlett Johansson (Looking like every other attractive blonde chick...ever.)

Lindsay Lohan (Also looking like every other attractive blonde; the difference, of course, being that looking like an attractive blonde has become a rarity for Lindsay these days.)

Eva Mendes (You're welcome, TJ.)

Aubrey Plaza (A personal favorite of mine; the highly underrated talent—in every sense of that word—from "Parks and Recreation".)

Chelsea Korka (Am I showing my age by not having the slightest clue who she is? Wikipedia says she's "a member of Pussycat Dolls' European spin-off group The Paradiso Girls." *shrug* Whatever—shorty got some vicious thighs.)

Audrina Patridge (Looking like the Tin Man's slutty daughter.)