Thursday, February 28, 2013

Throwback Thursday: "Westside" -- TQ

TQ never took off like everyone thought he would. In fact, I'm not sure if I can even remember hearing any other tracks of his. Guess "Gangsta R&B" just doesn't have as much sustainability as a genre as you'd expect it to.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

In the Club

Ever wondered what it's like to be a baller? Jalen Rose takes you through a night at the club when you're a superstar athlete rolling with an entourage.

TJ with the assist.

Respect My Gangsta: Trevor Mbakwe

"Cody Zeller, please pick up your pride from lost & found. Cody Zeller..."

Monday, February 25, 2013

Monday Kickstart: Glitz & Glamour

You've gotta love Jennifer Lawrence. For all the pageantry, there's really only two things anyone watching the Oscars wants to see: One is for a celebrity to be human...

Created with Gifboom

...and clumsiness is about as "human" as it gets. It's just a shame that it wasn't Jennifer Hudson instead of Jennifer Lawrence. I'd love to see Hudson fall. Down steps, not up them, though. A lot of steps.

What's the other thing everyone wants to see? Oh, I think Heidi knows:

Yup. Let's go.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Harlem Shook

All of this "Harlem Shake" nonsense that's populating the web right now is atrocious. There's one and only one Harlem Shake. And if you want to talk to an authority on the subject, then you know where you have to go.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Throwback Thursday: "Tell Me" -- Smilez & Southstar

They may have been a one-hit wonder, but this track bumped for a few weeks in '02. There was a point where some of my boys were talking to Universal, and in doing so compared themselves to Smilez and Southstar. Hindsight being 20/20...kind of a bad look.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Big Boy Coming Through

As if being a teenager these days isn't tough enough, now as a high school d-lineman you have to deal with running backs bigger and faster than you.

TJ with the assist.

MC Brie

I love this girl. Unconditionally. Never question that.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Monday Kickstart: Raise the Roof

The next time someone tries to brag about being from Kansas (not that I can really picture anyone doing that, ever), kindly point them to this story.

I find it deeply ironic that these people probably don't believe in Darwinism. This should be an exam you have to pass before you're allowed to claim lottery winnings. "Will you celebrate winning this money buy smoking meth and weed?"

As for me, if I win the lottery, I'm celebrating with Amanda Cerny:

Let's go.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Oh, Canada

Maybe Canada's not as cold as I always thought. I'm not sure how it could be when Lisa Dutton's there.

TJ with the assist.

Throwback Thursday: "No Pigeons" -- Sporty Thievz

Sporty Thievz were relevant in the music world for all of five seconds, but they're historical to the field of sociology.

In 1999, women were on a false power trip. TLC had released "No Scrubs," which shot up the charts fueled only by its schlocky premise. This , on it's own, would likely have been harmless. But then Destiny's Child released "Bills, Bills, Bills", and the call-to-golddigging-arms was sounded. Suddenly women everywhere, drunk on a toxic mix of the misplaced empowerment from false-feminism and the economic excess of the late '90s, began forgetting that equality meant earning their own way.

That's when Sporty Thievz stepped in with their anthem, and set the record straight:

"You birds wanna takeover?
get some cash and a Jenny Jones makeover,
Broke bitches..."


Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Presidential Lovin'

I can't...

Big Girls Don't Cry Wolf

I was uncomfortable. I was outraged. I was…jealous.

Some undeserving clown was kissing Bar Rafaeli, and it wasn’t me. I should be that undeserving clown!

A lot of people have had a lot to say about the Go Daddy ad that aired during the Super Bowl, which featured an international supermodel (Miss Rafaeli) doing tongue-jujitsu with a nerdy, overweight guy (Jesse Heiman). Very little of what was said was positive. Scratch that; none of it was positive.

And while—at first—those disapproving voices seemed only to be agreeing with me, I began to see things differently once my own selfish ire wore off. If my initial disdain for a meaningless television commercial was born from my desire to be the one lip-lockin’ with Bar, what was fueling the wave of criticisms from everyone else? Over the years, Go Daddy’s sexually-charged stunts have slowly desensitized us to each new ad they’ve released. Why should this one suddenly awaken new disgust? Were Entertainment Weekly writers, newspaper columnists, and talk show hosts only chiming in because they were jealous, too? Perhaps, in some cases. But more and more, it now feels like something far worse: bigotry.

Let’s imagine, for just a second, that the man swirling tongues with Bar in that ad had been Channing Tatum. Just what would the public response have been? I, and other gents such as myself, would likely still be outraged for a good minute or two, simply because it wasn’t us. Tatum’s wife, Jenna Dewan, might also be a little peeved (also due to jealousy). But would the mass public’s sentiment have been as harsh? Would "backlash" have been an accurate term to describe the entertainment media’s reaction to watching two hot, consenting adults get mouth-friendly to promote a web domain service that no one knows is a web domain service? Highly unlikely. That’s not to say no media mouthpiece would speak against the ad. But you’re fooling yourself if you think he or she would spend more than 140 Twitter characters on the subject.

Quite simply, the objection towards this Go Daddy ad exists solely because the male lead is unattractive. He was chubby. He was nerdy. He was ginger! *shivers* How dare they force such lechery upon our chaste eyes!

Now, for the sake of argument, let’s look at this story from another angle: How would all of this have been treated if the model had been male, and the nerd had been female? If…some guy [admittedly, the only male model’s name that I know of is Derek Zoolander], some Adonis whose jaw line was chiseled from a marble slab and whose abs could stop a bullet, was passionately kissing an overweight and unappealing woman in glasses, would we hear those same judgmental voices crying out in the name of decency? Hell, not only would those people be silent, at this very moment they’re probably a click away from attacking me for suggesting a hypothetical woman is “overweight and unappealing”.

And there you have it, the double-standard. Attractive man + attractive woman? Stamp of approval. Attractive man + unattractive, chubby woman? The next Rebel Wilson. Unattractive, chubby man + attractive woman? Not on MY television!

Why is it okay for everyone to be repulsed when a male romantic lead bears the deficit in physical beauty? The audacity that it takes to perpetuate this fraud of social mores is staggering. And yet it seems to have slipped past almost all of us without so much as a second thought on our parts. When a woman doesn’t fit the Hollywood norm, she’s an inspiration; when a man doesn’t, he’s a punchline.

Now, to be fair, for years Hollywood has enforced much stricter physical requirements on women than on men. While everyone from Jackie Gleason to Steve Buscemi have played leading men who’ve gotten the girl, it’s only been more recently that the door has cracked open for “regular gals”. [Sidenote: This is a term that’s ridiculously misused; Melissa McCarthy and Adele are both extremely talented women, but they’re not “regular” when it comes to body types. Let’s just be honest, here. I am far from the Channing Tatum end of the spectrum. But I’m also not delusional enough to think that being out-of-shape makes me as big as Billy Gardell. And I wouldn’t refer to Gardell as a “regular guy” just because we both need to cut back on carbs.] Lena Dunham is proving, one uncomfortable-for-everyone-but-her nude scene at a time, that women don’t have to be off-duty swimsuit models to be stars. We’re in the dawn of a girl-power era, and the result is “unlikely” leading ladies such as Wilson and McCarthy. But, if it’s wrong for society to be offended when one of these ladies kisses her hot male costar, why isn’t this true when genders are reversed and it’s Go Daddy’s nerd lothario? For all of the pro-curves, equality-for-big-gals cheerleading that occurs today in pop culture and social media, where’s all of the support when the person in question is male?

The move towards less-unrealistic standards for leading ladies is certainly refreshing. But centuries of misogyny won’t be erased by a sudden overcompensation in the opposite—yet equally unfair—direction.

*puts on pair of glasses* Now, Bar: About a follow-up ad…

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Stacey Dash is Normal

...Is she? I mean, sure, behind the veil of celebrity, this is probably a fairly accurate look into her homelife (aside from her wearing makeup at all times, of course). But she's still "Stacey Dash". The house this is filmed in alone is proof she's not "normal".

That being said, I'd still...yeah.

Gotta throw up a quick warning: There are a couple of scenes in this that are neither safe-for-work, nor "family friendly". But when your bosses and kids ain't, you'll want to watch.

TJ with the assist.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Monday Kickstart: Perspective

The executives upstanding citizens dumbasses who run the Grammys sent a memo on Wednesday warning they didn't want female stars to bare too much skin. Are they insane? Why would anyone with two logical thoughts in their brain watch the Grammys if not for a chance to see beautiful women half-nekked? It's pretty much the only reason anyone does anything ever. These shit-for-brains suits should be forever grateful to Katy Perry for ignoring their memo.

Picture courtesy of my buddy Joe.

To the people behind the memo: Shut the fuck up.

Now, for the week's motivation, well...why not just give you the only two things that were really worth mentioning at last night's Grammy Awards:

Let's go.

Friday, February 8, 2013

It's the Weekend

Time to change the world...

Respect My Gangsta: Rally Fighter Driver

Racing drivers are a different breed. For example (from Top Gear):
Crashing is one of the more unfortunate components of motoring. But sometimes - sometimes - it can be the source of great wonder...

This is a customized off-roader called a Rally Fighter, and it's being driven in Arizona by Buddy Crisp, Tony Rivera, Chris Parker and Riley Klingman's team.

After a not inconsiderable jump, the Rally Fighter inverts itself. But the driver, who may well have the largest gentleman vegetables in the whole darn patch, keeps the throttle wide open.

They went on to finish 4th in their class and 19th overall. Fine work, chaps.

Japanese Dynamite

Black Dynamite is out-of-sight, in any language. Konnichiwa, bitches.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Throwback Thursday: "Love Is All We Need" -- Mary J. Blige ft. Nas

I've always thought this was a cool little track. A pessimist might point out the incongruity of most of Nas' verse as compared to the song's theme. ...Or that the video's opening sequence is extraneous. ...Or that she appears to be a highly successful fashion designer, yet is living in a run down apartment building.

But then again, a pessimist probably wouldn't be interested in a song called "Love Is All We Need".

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Stalkerazzi: Aída Yéspica

My Spanish isn't very good, but I'm fairly certain that "Yespica" means "Yes, please..."

Found on The Superficial.

Fast and the Stupid

Call it jealousy, but I can't stand spoiled-ass kids. If you aren't older than than the size of the wheels on the car, you shouldn't be driving it. Case in point: The jackass destroying a BMW M3 below, as brought to you by autoevolution.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Monday Kickstart: Treacherous Curves

It takes a special kind of crazy to take part in the Isle of Man TT.

I love motor racing. I love motorcycles. I would love to take a few laps of some of the world's most challenging racetracks; I also would love to own a motorcycle. But there's no way in hell you could get me to race a motorcycle. And if you ask me to race one on the Isle of's going to be a misunderstanding.

So instead of such unpleasantness, let's just daydream of sharing a bathroom every morning with the incumbent Playmate of the Year, Miss Jaclyn Swedberg:

Let's go.