Monday Kickstart: Setting the Mood

Honestly, this is a million times better than any of the real Cialis ads.

...and nine months later, Iggy Azalea was born.

And if you need something even stronger than Cialis Turnt to get you going, then look no further than Miss October 2013, Carly Lauren:

Let's go.

Tail Report: Hiromi Oshima

I think I'ma need a drink...

Monday Kickstart: Wet Thoughts

Nick Offerman seems like a nice guy. Which makes it kind of awkward that I wish he actually was Ron Swanson.

From Mashable:

Nick Offerman, with all his grizzled wisdom and vocal gravitas, sat down to share the most profound things ever pondered in a shower.

The tidbits of brilliance originated on r/ShowerThoughts, a subreddit awash with soapsuds-covered cleverness.

If you enjoyed this video, please check out the r/ShowerThoughts Charity: water campaign and donate: https://my.charitywater.org/rshowerthoughts-charity-water-2014-1

Typically I end each week's kickstart with a beautiful woman, to help inspire you to live the ensuing week to its fullest. This week I'm not doing that. Instead, I'm giving you five beautiful women, to help inspire you to give to a good cause.

From Playboy:

Always down for helping out with a charitable cause, Playmates Amelia Talon, Val Keil, Dani Mathers, Kimberly Phillips and Anna Sophia Berglund accepted Cooper’s #IceBucketChallenge and did their part to raise awareness and money to fight ALS. The Playmates have challenged their social media followers--numbering about one million in all--to pour ice water on themselves for a good cause.

And for every Playmate who takes the Ice Bucket Challenge, records it and posts it, Playboy will donate $100 to the ALS Association.

Monday Kickstart: Too Much to Handle

I love me some Ri-Ri, and I love me some Brooklyn Decker. But I don't love me some Brooklyn Decker as much as Ri-Ri loves her some Brooklyn Decker.

Sometimes it feels like I'm controlling Rihanna with my mind. *pauses...thinking, "Ri...show up at my door tonight wearing that dress from the CFDA Awards..."*

*cough* Anyways...let's move onto this week's inspiration. It comes in the form of Playboy's Miss March 2013, the beautiful Ashley Doris:

Let's go.

Tuesday Kickstart: She Gone

I don't really hate Aubrey Graham as much as a lot of folks do. But he's such an easy target, that a lot of the shade thrown his way is too good to pass up. Even if it's sometimes unintentional (thanks to Exel for finding this Vine).



Then again, after watching that a few hundred times and wiping the tears from my eyes, I'm not entirely certain that was unintentional by Jhene. The look on her face right as she does it is such an "Oh god, this nucca's gonna try and touch me" look.

Your inspiration this week is Ms. Shelby Chesnes. Shelby previously appeared as a Kickstart inspiration in March 2013, so you know it'll take some serious fire to make it in a second time...

...Yup, that'll do it. Let's go.

Monday Kickstart: Seeing's Believing

From Pepsi Max UK's YouTube page:

Pepsi Max surprise commuters with an 'unbelievable' augmented reality experience at a bus shelter on New Oxford Street in London.

Watch their reactions as unbelievable scenarios unfold before their very eyes; from a giant robot crashing through the street to a passer by being abducted by flying saucers.

I'm not really sure what Pepsi is selling here, other than the fact that CGI-heavy action flicks are cool, Pepsi sponsors all of the CGI-heavy action flicks, and we all wanna be CGI-heavy action flick heroes, and CGI-heavy action flick heroes drink PEPSI SO LET'S ALL GO BUY PEPSI RIGHT NOW...

...wha, where... I-I just blacked out for a second there. What's going on? ...Anyone else thirsty for Pepsi?

Onto more blatant advertisements; I give you Playboy's new girl on the block, Miss March 2014, Britt Linn:

Nope, no bias here, folks. Nothing to see here. ...Let's go.

Tuesday Kickstart: Say It Like You Mean It

In tribute to our smooth ass founding fathers, we start this week a day later than usual. But to start it off right, we're going to share a refresher on basic grammar, as taught by Glove and Boots.




This week's inspiration is Valentine themed; and though I still refuse to recognize that day as being a real thing, Kylie Johnson is one of the few who might could make me reconsider that opinion:

Might could. Let's go.

Monday Kickstart: Kentucky Fried Christmas

During a casual conversation with my manager the other day, I asked whether or not Christmas was celebrated in Asian nations, such as Japan. Well, here's my answer.



That...is different. But, I've got to say, it looks delicious. My mom's one hell of a chef, and she's cooked every Christmas Eve and Christmas dinner I've ever eaten. But I'm kind of thinking KFC on December 26th should be a new tradition. (There's no way in hell I'm spending $70 on it, though.)

Of course, lest you forget, the best thing to ever come out of Japan is still (and always will be) Ms. Hiromi Oshima:

Let your light shine, baby. Let it shine. Let's go.

Monday Kickstart: Wrecking Shit

If you're going to dress up your pet for Halloween, at least do it right.

[Source: College Humor]


That being said, if I had my choice of people I could see "dressed" as Miley's "Wrecking Ball" video, Tiffany Toth would fall much, much higher on the list:

Let's go.

Monday Kickstart: Drift Away

I'm still trying to decide if this erases stereotypes, or promotes them...



...Maybe both? One thing's for sure: Little man is going to be the Ken Block of his generation.

Moving onto what moves you: This week, your inspiration is natural beauty Audrey Aleen Allen, Playboy's Miss June 2013:

#BlondeAmbitionsOfARidah. Let's go.

Tuesday Kickstart: Bieber Don't Want None of Key

Justin Bieber can act as swaggy-bro-tough as he wants. But he's going to have to stop getting punked by every other person on the planet before anyone believes it.

From Kobi at 93.9 KISS FM in Raleigh, NC:

Former NFL star and ESPN analyst Keyshawn Johnson chased down a speeding Justin Bieber this weekend -- and tried to confront the singer about his dangerous driving habits -- but JB ran away like a scared little child ... eyewitnesses tell TMZ. Sources tell us ... Keyshawn had just left a party Sunday night inside of his exclusive gated community in Calabasas (with his child in the car), when Bieber zoomed by in his Ferrari at breakneck speeds. We're told Keyshawn was furious -- feeling Justin could've killed someone -- so he brought his kid home, then chased after the singer in his Prius (yes, a Prius chasing a Ferrari). When KJ got to Bieber's pad -- he blocked Justin's Ferrari in the driveway and got out of his car to confront Justin face-to-face ... but Justin ran inside of his house and refused to come out.

Out of all the comedy in this story, there's a piece of irony that strikes me especially humorous: Key's biggest flaw as a player was his speed. And now he (a.) drives a Prius, and (b.) is upset with other people going too fast.

That said, fuck Bieber.

This week's post is coming a day later, thanks to Memorial Day and my inability to lift hand to keyboard yesterday morning. Which means all of you had to go an extra day before being treated to this week's inspiration, the lovely Ms. Valerie Mason:

I'm sorry for inconveniencing you like that. No one should have to go that long without her. Let's go.

Tail Report: 2013 Playmate of the Year

Your 2013 Playboy PMOY: The gorgeous Raquel Pomplun. I'm feeling a little bit of personal victory on this, since Miss Pomplun was my favorite of the 2012 Playmates. The girl is beautiful from head-to-toe, and now gets to call herself the hottest thing between a Playboy's covers.

(Yes, I'll let her steal that line. Congrats Raquel!)

Monday Kickstart: Criminal Masterminds

There's a whole lot of stupid out there. And sometimes, it tries to steal your purse.


I didn't even know purse-snatching was still a thing. That's one of those phenomena you see on old TV shows and laugh at the rudimentary simplicity of it. And yet, as simple as the act would appear to be, you still have a guy dumb enough to screw it up. Who wants to bet that when police finally catch him, his head will be stuck in a banister?

Here to get you going this week is Playboy's Miss September 2012, Alana Campos:

Let's go.

All-Weather Machinery

Who says a supercar isn't practical in the winter?

Certainly not Rhys Millen, who flawlessly navigates a snowy Pikes Peak road known as Loveland Pass with a McLaren 12C Spider in this video. Why does he do it? Because he wants to beat Chanelle Sladics and her snowboard to the bottom, of course.


Maybe Rhys & Chanelle can double date with Pilar Lastra and me someday.

Monday Kickstart: Grab Your Joystick

It's in French, so be prepared to read subtitles (unless, of course, you speak French). But it's worth it.



Truth be told, my go-to move in the bedroom is the ol' "up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start".

This week, we'll let the lovely Shelby Chesnes provide the inspiration:

Well done, Shelby. Well done.

Monday Kickstart: Raise the Roof

The next time someone tries to brag about being from Kansas (not that I can really picture anyone doing that, ever), kindly point them to this story.



I find it deeply ironic that these people probably don't believe in Darwinism. This should be an exam you have to pass before you're allowed to claim lottery winnings. "Will you celebrate winning this money buy smoking meth and weed?"

As for me, if I win the lottery, I'm celebrating with Amanda Cerny:

Let's go.

Monday Kickstart: Treacherous Curves

It takes a special kind of crazy to take part in the Isle of Man TT.



I love motor racing. I love motorcycles. I would love to take a few laps of some of the world's most challenging racetracks; I also would love to own a motorcycle. But there's no way in hell you could get me to race a motorcycle. And if you ask me to race one on the Isle of Man...it's going to be a misunderstanding.

So instead of such unpleasantness, let's just daydream of sharing a bathroom every morning with the incumbent Playmate of the Year, Miss Jaclyn Swedberg:

Let's go.

Monday Kickstart: Better Than Expected

Sometimes the best things in life aren't planned.


And sometimes the best things in life are Claire Sinclair:

Actually, most of the time the best things in life are Claire Sinclair. Let's go.

Monday Kickstart: Homey Don't Play That

You can tell me this will get old some day. But I won't believe you. I'll never believe you.

Other things that will never get old: selfies...Leola Bell...selfies by Leola Bell...

Yup. Let's go.

Monday Kickstart: That Voodoo You Do

There's nothing like a good prank on random, unsuspecting people going about their day.



Though I do have to question the motives of guys who spend their day trying to prank people for internet videos. Seems a little...suspect.

Whether you believe in voodoo or not, though, I think you'll agree: Playboy's Miss February 2011, Kylie Johnson, is more than capable of casting a spell on all who lay eyes on her.

Let's go.