Friday, December 30, 2011

It's the Weekend

Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintance be forgot, and auld lang syne?...

Monday, December 26, 2011

Flight Time: Justise Winslow

The high school sophomore is already a top prospect of 2014. If you're curious as to why, just watch this video.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Throwback Thursday: "Into You" Fabolous ft. Tamia

"I'll outshine you on tracks, like Tamia did Ashanti..."

I was a fan of this track when I first copped the Street Dreams CD. But then the single dropped, and two things happened: (1.) Tamia did the damn thang and successfully reclaimed the track from Ashanti; and (2.) I fell in love with Tamia all over again. This was definitely a beach track that summer (2003), which makes it fitting that Fab took the video in that direction as well.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Xmas List 2011: Polaboy

I'm not exactly an art connoisseur. The most artistic thing on the walls in my apartment is a Pittsburgh Sparks calendar that I got free at a game last summer (hi Miss January). But even I could get down with this creative idea. As explained by the folks at Thrillist:
From two German dudes going by the moniker "Lightboys" who're big into 'roids, Polaboy will blow up any Polaroid into a large-format back-lit version that, when illuminated, will "not only open up rooms, but also hearts and minds", so it actually won't be polarizing? Send 'em a hard copy of your pic (or upload a hi-res digital version) and select an aspect ratio, and they'll use a special scanner to capture the image, exposing an enlarged version onto a proprietary sheet of slide film, also how Coolio pitches his concept of a two-hour-long rap opera based on "Fantastic Voyage"...when he isn't busy captaining teams in Rock & Jock. A mountable rear LED panel is then attached, and it's all "pimped" by Coolio with a fabric-wrapped power cord in your choice of seven colorways, from orange, to red w/ white spots.

If somehow you possess zero photos, your life is pathetic, but you can still pick from a catalog of pro shots featuring everything from beach scenes to a naked woman in a pool, who'll Shanghai your visitors' attention with her Forbidden City. Baby pandas!!
If any of my dearest loved ones are reading this and giving it serious thought, I'll offer two suggestions:

(1.) This shot, from Polaboy's galleries:

(2.) This shot, of my baby Hiromi Oshima:

Just a thought.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

A Conversation with Mr. Glover

That would be Donald Glover, a.k.a. Childish Gambino. The talented comedian/actor/writer/emcee talks with about his success and why he hopes he never "makes it".

Monday, December 19, 2011

Xmas List 2011: Whisky Blender

Still looking for a gift for that hard-to-buy-for boozehound? If he or she is a whisky drinker, then you need look no further:

From uncrate:
Unless you sip on single malts exclusively, odds are you've run into a blended whiskey somewhere along the way. Whisky Blender (£35 and up; roughly $55+) lets you create your own specialized blend from a selection of seven different whiskys, each available for adding in amounts as small as 10ml. Once you're done, you can give the blend its own name, which will be handwritten on the label that adorns the 70cl corked decanter bottle, and save the mixture for future refills should the mixture be to your liking. While the wisdom of ordering booze you've never tasted before is always questionable, there's no doubt that it'll be far more interesting than your average bottle of Old Crow.
While any new blend or brew that finds its way onto liqour store shelves (especially the top ones) is sure to interest a veteran booze enthusiast such as myself, this idea provides a wow factor that you just won't find with a mass-produced bottle. I love Crown Royal, but if you give me an opportunity to create my own signature blend? Well, that's a gift your beloved booze fan won't soon forget.

My boy Chappy with the assist.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Flight Time

From The Dagger:
Five minutes into Saturday's game between Division III Heidelberg University and Trine University, Heidelberg's Victor Fortkamp botched his attempt at a one-handed follow slam of a teammate's missed runner. The force of Fortkamp's missed dunk sent the ball maybe 25 feet in the air directly above the rim, enabling 6-foot-5 forward Nate Davis to time his leap for a soaring two-handed slam of his own.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Throwback Thursday: "Ready or Not" -- The Fugees

Their first album is still a classic. I don't think any other group has ever burned as bright for as little time (as a combined act) as the Fugees. Lauryn Hill found success with her first solo album (though quickly faded away after that), and Wyclef has had some staying power. Pras... Well, at least Lauren and Clef did their thing (in more ways than one).

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Tail Report: Leola Bell

Leola's not a household name right now, but that may all change very soon. The smoking hot natural beauty will be Playboy's Miss February 2012, and she's likely to be a fan favorite (on Twitter: @LeolaBell). Being one of Hef's iconic Playboy Playmates is a door-opening opportunity in the entertainment world; could 2012 be the start of booming career in Hollywood for Leola? We can only hope. The more we get to see of her, the better.

[Some of these pics come courtesy of The Smoking Jacket's interview with the upcoming Miss February.]

Leola, congrats on being named a Playmate. When you're looking for a date to your first movie premiere, holla at ya boy.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Get Low

Petey Williams, of Wake Forest Rolesville (N.C.), has moves that even Neo would appreciate.

Xmas List 2011: World's Most Beautiful

This ain't your daddy's magazine.

World's Most Beautiful is a new magazine featuring some of the best things on earth, from Jessica Burciaga to the McLaren SLR, and all shot in 3D (though regular 2D versions are also available with each issue). It combines the artistic integrity of Playboy, the contemporary feel of Maxim, and the technological accessibility of Yelp into a whole new reason to never put down your smartphone and iPad.

To view the 3D content, of course, you need glasses. You can use any you may have laying around your house, or order them directly from WMB (they have plastic pairs for $12 each, or a paper version that are free—plus shipping & handling). Each issue costs about $5, with bonus galleries ranging from $0.99 to $2.99, all of which can be downloaded directly to your iPhone, iPad, or Android phone.

I really don't know why you'd need any further motivation than the charms of Miss Burciaga (I mean, c'mon, look at that picture above...damn). But for those of you who are still on the fence about adding WMB to your personal wish list , consider this: Their inaugural issue, published this past August, can also be purchased in hardcopy for $19.95. Oh, and that month's cover model?

Yeah, I think you're feeling me now.

Xmas List 2011: Himalayan Salt Tequila Glasses

This is yet another gift idea for the On the Rocks crowd: Tequila shot glasses made of salt. Yup.

From Salt Therapy at Home's product page:
This beautiful and functional set will be the perfect conversation starter for your party or decorative accent for your home. The set of six tequila shot glasses and tray are an elegant work of art that will grace any sideboard or tabletop. Carved from naturally beautiful Himalayan pink crystal salt, the lovely striated pattern perfectly complements any decor. The naturally anti-bacterial surface requires minimal maintenance, and your long-lasting carved salt glasses will add elegance and fun to many a friendly shot or business deal! You'll be amazed how the rich taste of Himalayan crystal salt enhances the flavor of your favorite tequila like table salt never did!
This is a great idea, but one with a couple of drawbacks. First, these shot glasses have a limited use. If you're not drinking tequila, then I doubt you want salt interfering with the drinking experience. And, second, I would imagine they have an expiration point. They say long-lasting, but that's vague; and, certainly, they won't last as long as their glass and plastic counterparts.

But, in the end, if you're someone who takes pride in his or her personal bar, and who enjoys tequila, this is a must-own. Just don't leave it where your pet moose can get to it.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Throwback Thursday: "Back At You" -- Mobb Deep

An often-slept-on gem from the QB vets.


You've got to be envious of someone who loves their job. Especially when they love it this much.

<a href='' target='_new' title='Weatherman Is Psyched On Some Thundersnow'>Video: Weatherman Is Psyched On Some Thundersnow</a>

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Duckin' Shots

If you've perused the internet and social media at all in the last few years (and really, if you haven' are you here reading this?), you're well aware of the rampant epidemic that AntiDuckface is out to combat. The ladies of the world seem to all think they're Derrick Zoolander when a camera comes out. The result? This:

Now, for some reason, she probably thinks she looks like the shit. If only she could hear your laughter right now. Hopefully one of her friends has hipped her to AntiDuckface (or maybe even this site; if so..."How you doin'?"), and she'll get the clue.

Props to my girl Steph for the find.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Xmas List 2011: Blowfish

This qualifies as an "On the Rocks" post, but definitely goes on my Xmas List; therefore, it's getting posted on both Crooked Straight pages.

The latest miracle drug to hit the market is Blowfish, and it's sure to pique the interests of my fellow fans of "the booze". From
The over-the-counter drug cocktail combines 1,000 milligrams of aspirin, 120 milligrams of caffeine and a stomach-soothing agent into two effervescent tablets taken the morning after a night of heavy drinking.

Once dissolved in water, the remedy claims to knock out multiple hangover symptoms in just 15 to 30 minutes.

“The magic of the effervescent tablet is that it hits your system much faster than getting a cup of coffee, taking an antacid and taking some aspirin separately,” she said.

...Blowfish runs $2.99 for a single dose, or $11.99 for a six-pack. It is currently available in Ricky’s NYC stores or online at, which offers free shipping and 24-hour courier service in Manhattan. The tablets will hit Duane Reade shelves in January.
The "she" in the quote above is the product's creator, Brenna Haysom. And it would appear Ms. Haysom is a gal out to steal my heart:
“So many people see hangovers as a shameful or embarrassing thing. I think of them as just a fact of life,” said Brenna
Hmmm, maybe this should've been a "wifey material" post...

Xmas List 2011: Keys, Wallet, Cell Phone Door Mat

Last year I gave you a few of the items on my personal Xmas list (an A list Hollywood actress, a $200,000 Italian supercar, etc.). Some might have seen these gift ideas as "ambitious". ..."Delusional" is also a viable description.

So this year I'll give you a few smaller, more realistic suggestions for those of you looking for ideas on what to buy for the loved ones in your life (but not necessarily me; I mean, I like the stuff I'll be posting over the next couple of weeks, but I would love Scarlett...I'm quite positive of that). First up is this clever gift for anyone who has locked his or herself out of his or her apartment more than 3 times in the last year. Ahem. *sheepishly raises hand*

The "Keys Wallet Cell Phone" reminder door mat.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Throwback Thursday: "Two Words" -- Kanye West ft. Mos Def, Freeway, & The Harlem Boys Choir

"A-yo, Two words, Chi-Town, South Side/
cuz I, rep that, 'til I, fuckin die"

Tail Report: Shay Maria


This beauty has fast become an internet fave, even attracting the attention of Girlwatcher at The Smoking Jacket. And it's not hard to see why; babygirl's curves are legit. And she has a playful character that beams through her beautiful face, shifting her stare from a sex kitten's "Spank me" to a tomboy's "Fight me" in a heartbeat. The kind of girl that will spend half a day with you wilin' on a PS3 joystick, and the other half wilin' on your joystick. ...i.e., the perfect woman.

And, as if that wasn't enough, here's a quick stop-motion video to help you appreciate the way she moves:

Or, if you'd prefer to see her move in real time:

Tuesday, November 29, 2011


Quick and off-the-wall video from the folks at Funny Or Die. Good for some LOLs on a day marked with sad news.

My boy Garrett with the find.

RIP Patrice O'Neal

Sad news breaking today that O'Neal, one of the comedy world's most underrated talents, has passed away at the age of 41.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

No One Would Riot for Less

You may have seen the video by now, but in case you haven't:

That is a crowd of Wal-Mart shoppers in Arkansas losing their shit over $2 waffle makers on Black Friday. ...Let me state that again. This human feeding frenzy is scrambling, clawing, and climbing over one another for waffle makers. As much as I want to sit back and enjoy the comedy of this clip (and oh, it's there: the accents, the indiscriminate ass cracks; the irony that a waffle maker—of all things—can simultaneously be so invaluable as to only cost $2, and yet so precious that people are willing to sacrifice life and limb for it; the crosssing-the-streams result of putting together "Arkansas" and "Wal-Mart" in the same sentence...), I just keep coming back to one thought: This is why the world hates America.

There are a lot of countries where this type of scene happens more than once a year. But, instead of cheap kitchen appliances that are about as essential to daily life as an anniversary gift is to Kim Kardashian, the people are figthing over food and water. How embarrassed would you be as an American to have to sit next to someone from Darfur as they watch that clip?

I love this nation of ours. But, what I don't love, is the entitled state of mind that we've fallen into. Priorities are no longer a priority. Common sense was shot on the side of the road and left to die the day Fox News' gang of buffoons decided to label Common Sense as a cop-killing gangsta rapper. One of my friends, in arguing against the merits of the #OccupyWallStreet movement, said that the Civil Rights movement never achieved anything, either.


Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Cougars Love Pepper

...Just ask Megyn Kelly, she of the perpetually non-factual television network, Fox "News".

From New York Magazine's Daily Intel blog:
Last night on Fox News, anchor Megyn Kelly joined Bill O'Reilly to assess just how much the protesters at UC Davis deserved to get pepper-sprayed while staging a nonviolent protest last week. "First of all, pepper spray — that just burns your eyes, right?" O'Reilly asks Kelly, the legal (and apparently chemical) expert. "It's like a derivative of actual pepper," she responds. "It's a food product, essentially."

...One of the hit protesters told Boing Boing two days later, "I still have a burning sensation in my throat, lips and nose, especially when I start coughing, or when I'm lying in bed. Everyone who got sprayed has sustained effects like this." Sounds delicious.
That an empty talking head from Fox News is on the record as saying something so incredibly stupid and blindly unsubstantiated is certainly neither earth-shattering nor, in fact, post-worthy.

This picture inspired by Kelly's absurdity, however, is:

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Head Games

Rajon Rondo, off his forehead to Rudy Gay at a charity game. Yup.

TJ with the assist.

Tail Report: Yasmin

She DJs. She sings. She looks delish from every angle. She's Yasmin, a 22-year-old talent from England who has worked with Eve, N.E.R.D., and Taio Cruz.

She's my new crush. And soon to be yours as well.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Throwback Thursday: "Down 4 U" -- Ja Rule ft. Vita, Charli Baltimore, & Ashanti

I know, I know, I know... Ja Rule and his series of R&B-esque hip-hop ballads are an easy target, one I've fired shots at in the past. But I'm going to give this one a least for now. This was a prime track for several reasons:

(1.) The laid back beat is a nice change-up pitch, and allows the track to waft over you like a cool ocean breeze.
(2.) A beach-themed video filled with video vixens and aspiring models in bikinis is always a #win.
(3.) Vita's entrance kills. And ever since her scene in Belly...well, there's been a special place in my heart for her.
(4.) Charli Baltimore's whole verse kills.
(5.) Ashanti is just ridiculous, from eyes to thighs.

Sizzlin' Sheets

This may be the best thing to happen to sex since the invention of Sasha Grey. Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with: BACON. FLAVORED. LUBE.

Yes, this is real. No, you're not dreaming. Yes, I can wait a few minutes while you recover.




All good?

Okay. Now a few words from the creators of this masterpiece in engineering.
Before you start giving meat-flavored massages, we have one small admission to make - baconlube began as an elaborate April Fool's prank and was never intended to be a real product. But when the joke ended, the emails kept coming. People harassed us via email, in public and in highly inappropriate ways (thanks for that). The waiting list grew to over 3,000 people. Expectations were built.

So who's responsible for this highly anticipated creation actually coming to life? You are, that's who. You and an intern named Martin actually, who sacrificed and offended his taste buds in the name of science on sample after failed sample before this really did taste like bacon.

We'll make no judgments about why you want this or what you want to do with it, but baconlube is here and it's real for a limited time. Keep It Sizzlin'.
And yes, I've ordered a bottle. If any ladies would like to help me do some product testing, hit me on Twitter.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

In Case You Were Wondering...

...Mila Kunis is still D-to-the-LISH.

And not only that, but she's still one of the most levelheaded people in the business. From The Huffington Post:
Named the magazine's "Knockout of the Year," the title could just as easily have been bestowed for her candid statements about Hollywood, too. While many stars spend their time in interview after interview pitching their integrity and devotion to the finest aspects of film, Kunis is realistic about how she makes her living.

“I love what I do, but my theory is that it's people who doubt what they do and want to prove it to you, they're like 'It's art. I create art. It's art, art, art,'" she tells the magazine in their new issue. "I'm like, Holy sh*t, are you f*cking kidding me? I run around and pretend I'm someone else for twelve hours; I record 'Family Guy' [she voices Meg]. Then I get to go home and watch 'Jersey Shore.'"
"Keep doing ya thing/ While I work on copping this ring"...

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

D Rose with the Steal?

Interesting rumor floating around that Derrick Rose laughed in a hooker's face instead of paying her for

From Nurize (via Boxden):
Reigning NBA MVP Derrick Rose just got put on blast by a popular ESCORT hooker named Bee. According to BEE via Twitter, DRose stiffed one of her friends… And when it was over, she asked Derrick for payment and allegedly Rose “laughed” in the prostitute’s face and told her that he wasn’t paying
TJ is, of course, playing the "good wife" on this one and defending his man-crush to the end. Personally, I think this story has a little bit of merit. True, Rose isn't known for being the type of guy to hire hookers, let alone skip out on the bill. But I see little reason for "BEE" to lie on this, since there wouldn't be much she could gain aside from some minor publicity (which isn't all that great of a thing when you consider that her livelihood depends on law enforcement people not knowing what her livelihood is).

And, really, is it such a stretch of the imagination that Rose could have been at a club, casino, hotel, etc., and pulled a ridiculously hot chick; then, after they did the damn thing, she piped up and said "That'll be $3000"? We've certainly seen it happen in TV and movies enough times to make it all the more likely that some female of subpar intelligence would actually try pulling off this Looney-Tunes-for-adults-worthy ploy. And if you were D Rose in this (albeit hypothetical) situation, what would be your response? Would you pay her? Hell no. You'd probably just get dressed, laugh at the broad, and walk out the door.

Whether he legitimately stole from this chickenhead or not, at least Rose is finding a way to keep himself in shape during the lockout.

My boy Iso with the assist.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Gay Mafia?

I've got mad respect for Fat Joe for expressing a tolerant viewpoint in this Vlad TV interview, which is something that the world could always use more of. But saying there's a "gay mafia" in hip-hop? That sounds a little loco, papi. Don't know if I'd go that far.

Then again, he's a 20+ year vet in the game, and I' Maybe he knows something I don't.

Chest Thumped

Be careful with kickers, they're fragile.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Heavy Hearts

TMZ is reporting that hip-hop icon Heavy D (real name: Dwight Arrington Myers) has passed away at the age of 44. Tragic news for one of my generation's most cherished artists and personalities. Today we lost one of the "good guys", in both the entertainment world and the "real" world. R.I.P. Heavy.

Tail Report: Nicole Lyons

I love me a beautiful woman. This is public knowledge. But what makes a woman exceptional? When she brings something more to the table than just a pretty face and a tight frame. This is the bonus plan you get with Nicole.

From Life + Times:
Some people were born to go fast. Drag racer Nicole Lyons is one of them. Lyons is a serious contender in multiple divisions for the National Hot Rod Association as a pro-stock driver. She is the first African-American woman to compete in the NHRA. On a good day, Lyon flies across the finish line of the quarter-mile in less than five seconds in her pro-mod ’69 Camaro that boasts over 3,000 horsepower. “You’re talking about the fastest motorsport in the world,” she says. “It’s an incredible rush and amazing thing to go that fast.”

In a few precious seconds, she has to steer, shift the car and make sure her parachute is pulled. “If anything is going wrong, in the blink of an eye I have to correct it,” she says. “If we were to wreck in one of these cars, it could be the end of it.” It all comes down to lightening fast responses.
Nicole's star is unquestionably on the rise. Does being a pretty face inflate her popularity and visibility? Of course. But she has the skills to back up the hype. She's ride or die.

Just the type of thing you'd expect from an exceptional woman.