Monday Kickstart: Ready or Not

Never try to prank a licensed gun owner.



Maybe I'm just a realist by heart, but with all of the prank videos that litter the internet these days, I've often wondered how this exact scenario was never playing out. How often does the the would-be prankster do such a shitty job of hiding either himself (I mean, you thought the piece of his costume hanging outside of the trunk was what was going to give him away, right?) or the camera that he or she is instantly caught? And then, of course, those videos are rarely uploaded to the internet, because no one wants to show themselves failing. So thank god this guy didn't even bother to stop for his camera on the way out the door. His ownage needed to be properly documented and published. Science demanded it.

Now, to switch gears from fails to indisputable wins, we give you this week's inspiration—the one-and-only Mila Kunis, recently voted FHM's "Sexiest Woman in the World":

Let's go.

Sexiest of the Sexiest

Mila Kunis is the world's sexiest woman, according to Esquire. I have been searching for a rebuttal to this charge, but...

...yeah, I'm not coming up with any. Good lawd, girl.

In Case You Were Wondering...

...Mila Kunis is still D-to-the-LISH.

And not only that, but she's still one of the most levelheaded people in the business. From The Huffington Post:

Named the magazine's "Knockout of the Year," the title could just as easily have been bestowed for her candid statements about Hollywood, too. While many stars spend their time in interview after interview pitching their integrity and devotion to the finest aspects of film, Kunis is realistic about how she makes her living.

“I love what I do, but my theory is that it's people who doubt what they do and want to prove it to you, they're like 'It's art. I create art. It's art, art, art,'" she tells the magazine in their new issue. "I'm like, Holy sh*t, are you f*cking kidding me? I run around and pretend I'm someone else for twelve hours; I record 'Family Guy' [she voices Meg]. Then I get to go home and watch 'Jersey Shore.'"

"Keep doing ya thing/ While I work on copping this ring"...

Tail Report: 2011 Academy Awards

Be honest: The red carpet is the only part of the Oscars you were even remotely interested in watching. I know that's the case for me.


Halle Berry
The Michael Jordan of red carpet hotness.

Mila Kunis
Good to finally see her begin to rise into the upper echelon of actresses, which only means more opportunities to see her looking tasty at red-carpeted events.

Scarlett Johansson
Another of my recently-single dreamgirls. She's kind of got a naughty-hot thing going here. Like she'd drag you into a broom closet during the ceremony and make your eyes cross.

Jennifer Lawrence
She cleans up well, I've gotta say. She might have been the biggest "dayuuuuummmmm" of the night.

Jennifer Hudson
I can tolerate her a little more now that she's lost all the weight. A little...

Mallika Sherawat
...Yeah, I don't know who she is, either. But I want to get to know her better.

Mama Mila!

[Don't ask; yes, I hate myself for that title.]

The last several months have seen an unprecedented amount of premium ladies announcing their renewed singledom (such as Eva Longoria and Scarlett Johansson...ladies, I'm flattered, really, but you don't have to go through all of this trouble; I'm not going to turn you away just because you have a man). The latest to enter the D.E.F.I. sweepstakes is Miss Mila Kunis.

I've always loved Mila; now I may love her even more. From Yahoo's omg! page:

The actress has been open about her fear of settling down with Culkin, 30, telling BlackBook in December 2009 that the prospect of marriage didn't appeal to her.

Mila, my only request: That when you get to my place tonight, the first thing you do is take a long hot shower to wash off eight years of Macaulay Culkin funk. And you can finally admit that he smells now that he's your ex; no need to protect him anymore. The rest of the world has always suspected it, anyway (I mean, look at him...that picture practically reeks of sweat and heroine smoke).

Maxim's Hot 100 List Announced

The 2009 edition of Maxim's "Hot 100" has been released, and sitting atop it is a new face: Miss Olivia Wilde. While I don't protest the selection, I don't necessarily agree with it either. Olivia's pretty, and certainly wouldn't get the cold shoulder from me at a bar if I was a single man. But hottest in the world? Eh. And then there's the opinion of my friend TD (who is a girl; and, surprisingly, a straight one):

"I was upset to see 'our' girl [Megan Fox, who finished no. 2 in voting] did not make #1…. But then I saw who did and I am very pleased. She used to be on The OC when I watched it back in the day…. I always thought this girl was SEXY SEXY!"

Maxim's thoughts on the top 5 (as found on Yahoo's "omg! news"):

1. Olivia Wilde: "We may not know a McDreamy from a McNugget, but when it comes to TV doctors, there is only one who makes our body temperatures rise. We were drooling over the NYC native long before she was injected into Fox's hit medical drama (House)."

2. Megan Fox: "Seriously, do women get more painfully hot than this? Megan Fox has the face of an angel, a body so perfect that God may have carved it out of soap and sex appeal that could melt a unicorn's horn. Plus, we hear she smells like clouds."

3. Bar Refaeli: "If there's any evidence that the Middle East is a land of beauty and wonder Bar is it. The 24-year-old Israeli supermodel with the brain blowing body scorched the cover of the famed Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition."

4. Malin Akerman: "In the dark world of Watchmen, Malin was tasked with one tough mission ... Watchmen wasn't the first time we've seen Malin and it won't be the last. She's got four new flicks on her busy schedule."

5. Mila Kunis: "Mila's combination of exotic beauty and gal-next-door charm would make any sane man forget his ex in three seconds flat."

Also, for the first time in history, the worlds of politics and sophomoric-men's-magazines have collided, as First Lady Michelle Obama clocked in at no. 93. "He may be dealing with two wars, an economic meltdown, and a rapidly graying dome, but at least our Commander in Chief gets to come home to the hottest First Lady in the history of these United States. (Sorry, Martha Washington!)" Nice to see Michelle getting some love.

The full list can be found here.

Stand and Deliver: Russell Brand

Otherwise known as "the funniest part of 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall'," Brand delivers a great take on meeting Mila Kunis' boyfriend during shooting of the movie.

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Russell Brand - Dating Macaulay Culkin

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Tail Report: Mila Kunis

Here's a link to the Complex interview where she says... nothing interesting at all.

Tail Report: Mila Kunis