Thursday, November 29, 2012

Throwback Thursday: "Honey [Bad Boy Remix]" -- Mariah Carey ft. Mase, The LOX, & Puff

I've said before that 1997 was Mariah's peak, and this video does nothing to change my mind. '97 MC was like the '06 Kobe Bryant of Pop/R&B singers.

The song itself is nothing groundbreaking; it came at the height of Bad Boy's "shiny suit" days. And Mase, Jada, and Styles P treated their verses like the last day of work before Christmas, doing just the minimum required of them. But I'll tell you this: This looks like one of the more fun videos to be a part of. I'm always a sucker for a clip where everyone's just goofing off and not mean-mugging the camera like they're about to go to war with Liam Neeson in an Eastern European brothel.


I have the utmost respect for someone willing to stand in public and commit to a joke like this. Fantastic work here by Eric Andre, who puts the "care" in healthcare.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012


If you haven't read any of Rembert Browne's work at Grantland and don't follow him on Twitter, you don't know what you're missing. Here's a small peek, as he analyzes the creepiest Lionel Richie video ever.

TJ with the assist.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Ghost Protocol

If you're riding an elevator and the lights cut out...well, I hope you're wearing something that's machine washable.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Train's A'Comin...

...and you're standing on the tracks, youngin'.

TJ with the assist.

Monday Kickstart: In the Zone

Every guy (and probably a few gals) can relate to this video. But not me, though *cough*...

Your inspiration this week comes from Ms. Casey Connelly:

Let's go.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Monday Kickstart: Swaggy Cougar

That's Jenny McCarthy doing her best to rape Justin Bieber onstage at the American Music Awards last night. How many things do I hate about this?
  1. Justin Beiber.
  2. Justin Beiber winning awards for being Justin Beiber.
  3. Jenny McCarthy now being considered a cougar (man getting old sucks).
  4. Justin Beiber (it's worth counting twice).

And now, Brooklyn Decker:

Let's go.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Snakes on a Soundstage

Hayden Panettiere—all 5'2" of her—just owned the shit out of Michael Strahan.

All the Single Ladies

Kristen Schaal absolutely, incontestably killed it last night on The Daily Show. So much rofls...

Throwback Thursday: "The City is Mine" -- Jay-Z ft. Blackstreet

I've always maintained that this beat would have been much better with a slower tempo, or simply by taking out the underlying bass line. If only he'd thought to call me back in '98...

Respect My Gangsta: Robert De Niro

Who knows more about the importance of respect than Vito Corleone?

From the New York Post:
A spy then overheard De Niro complaining to the rapper, a fellow TriBeCa resident, about a song Jay-Z agreed to record for the Tribeca Film Festival. De Niro had reached out to discuss further details, but Jay never returned his calls.

“Bob wasn’t in any mood to make polite conversation,” the spy says. “He told Jay that if somebody calls you six times, you call them back. It doesn’t matter who you are, that is just rude.”

When Jay-Z tried to make a joke of it, saying he is terrible on the phone, a source says, “De Niro kept telling him that he thinks he’s the man, but that he was disrespectful.’ ”

“Beyoncé came over, but that didn’t calm Bob down,” the source said, adding that afterward, “It was the talk of the party. Everyone was saying there’s only one star in New York bigger and badder than Jay-Z, and that’s Robert De Niro. He can be quite scary when he’s angry.”
Leave it to De Niro to turn Jay-Hova into "Spider".

TJ with the assist.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Big Boi's is Talkin'

From a recent article by The Village Voice, about Big Boi's new album:
So lets talk label bullshit. Last album Laface was fronting on clearing Andre 3000. Is that still the case?
No, that's all cleared up now. He could've been on any song he wanted to. I gave the motherfucker about 5 songs, but I guess he was just too busy. He said he had to do some Gillette shit [room erupts in laughter]. No for real. He said he had some contractual obligations.
Ouch. Hopefully there's no real bad blood between Big Boi and Dre, and that was just a playful dig at his brother. But goddamn, that's some ownage.

Ghost Toast

This 1984 Today Show interview is almost as delicious as toast from a demonic toaster.

Respect My Gangsta: Steve Young

I almost gave the gangsta tears to Rick Reilly, for actually laughing off Young's thug. But after a second watch, I'm of the mind that Reilly's laugh was just a defense mechanism, used to distract people from the urine soaking his pants.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012


I can't...

Nowhere to Hide

This is what they call a "twofer":
An exciting play as Holy Trinity Catholic advances to the Iowa state high school volleyball championships. As the ball ricochets of the girls face, the ball trips up a student as he walks to the concession stand.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Monday Kickstart: Happy Endings & New Beginnings

Don't, worry, this is the last election-related thing I'll be posting. Probably. I think. I mean, if someone comes along with another great picture, etc., I can't guarantee I won't post it. Especially with Fox News and the GOP insisting that the only reason minority voters backed Obama is that we want food stamps and grape soda.

Onto much more progressive pursuits, though, such as beautiful women showing pride in their bodies. This week we turn to Stephy C (who also, apparently, goes by "Mariela Henderson"'s Monday and she's way too hot for me to ask or care about why):

Let's go.

Friday, November 9, 2012

I Want it All

Have you ever wondered if it's possible for a play to go the full 110 yards—the absolute maximum possible, when the ten yards of your own end zone are included—for a touchdown?

From Bro Bible:
Forget all you know about extremely long touchdowns. Sean Landez, a high schooler from the great state of Texas, has rewritten the history books with this 109.99999-yard touchdown return off a missed field goal. It really has to be seen to be believed.

Indeed. Remember kids: always play 'til the whistle.

It's the Weekend

Time to move forward...

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Throwback Thursday: "Money, Power, Respect" -- The LOX ft. Lil' Kim & DMX

For most folks outside of Yonkers, this song was their introduction to one Mr. Earl Simmons. The track was the second single off The LOX's debut album, and they showed love to their friend from around the way by putting him on their song. D caught the world's ear with his verse and unconventional flow, and a star was born.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012


Crooked Straight's most passive-aggressive blogger, TJ, has been on fire with the links today. He threw this fantastic Grantland post by Justin Halpern at me a little earlier this afternoon, and the tears of laughter on my keyboard have yet to dry.

(click image to enlarge)

Star Crossed

Don't worry buddy, easy mistake to make. After all, we all look alike. TJ with the assist ("We’ve found the whitest man in America. It’s official.").

Can't Touch This


TJ with the assist.

Masque -- Her Aide

There's brilliant products, then there's game-changers. Masque is the latter.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Worth a 1000 Words

From The Associated Press:

"Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Rybak goes crowd surfing with his mother Loraine, after it was announced that President Barack Obama had won re-election, Tuesday, Nov. 6, 2012, at the Minnesota DFL Party headquarters at the Crowne Plaza Hotel in downtown St. Paul, Minn. (AP Photo/The Star Tribune, David Joles)"

TJ with the assist.

"Don't Call it a Comeback..."

"...I been here four years."

Congratulations on re-election, President Obama. Now that we're done with all the nonsense, we'll let you get back to leading this great country back from the hole it was in when you took over.


Our future depends on it. Frankly, to me it's inconceivable that anyone could have watched Mitt Romney lie his way back and forth across the nation over the past 10 months and still think he has any true plan, or any leadership qualities. Meanwhile President Obama has given us healthcare, ended the war in Iraq, killed Osama Bin Laden, and saved our economy from the abyss.

But, if you're somehow still undecided, please take a moment to listen to the words of Mr. Chris Rock:

Monday, November 5, 2012

Monday Kickstart: That Voodoo You Do

There's nothing like a good prank on random, unsuspecting people going about their day.

Though I do have to question the motives of guys who spend their day trying to prank people for internet videos. Seems a little...suspect.

Whether you believe in voodoo or not, though, I think you'll agree: Playboy's Miss February 2011, Kylie Johnson, is more than capable of casting a spell on all who lay eyes on her.

Let's go.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

F.O.H.: Nana Gouvêa

If you know me, you know I've got nothing but love for beautiful women, Brazil, and Playboy bunnies. So, as you might guess, a beautiful Brazilian woman who's posed for Playboy would have to do something pretty fucked up to earn a "Fuck Outta Here" post.

From Yahoo! News:
Here's one way to get noticed: After Hurricane Sandy left New York City in utter chaos, a former Brazilian Playboy model used the devastation as a backdrop for a series of glamour shots, enraging many people in the process.

In a long-sleeved black top, leggings, and black ankle boots, Nana Gouvêa can be seen striking a dramatic wide-legged pose -- think Angelina Jolie at the Oscars -- in front of a gigantic toppled tree and a stranded moving truck. In another image, Gouvêa uses broken branches to balance herself on the hood of a smashed silver BMW.

Gouvêa's excuse (for, you know, posing for glamour shots in the same disaster zone where people are injured and suffering)? She and her husband, the photographer, had been in their apartment with no power, and had become bored.

Hey, Nana: Next time, maybe you and your hubby should try lending a helping hand to those human props in the background of your impromptu photoshoot, who are struggling to repair their damaged lives?

Fuck outta here...

Throwback Thursday: "What You Want" -- Mase ft. Total

Yes, youngin', there was once a time when Mase had a hit album (that time was 1997-1998, when Harlem World reigned supreme). And this track was one of the first singles off of that album, a smooth speaker thumper that (a.) highlighted the lighthearted appeal of both Mase and most of the Bad Boy lineup, and (b.) gave Puff an excuse to fill a video with fine women in lingerie.

And you can't be mad at that.