Sizzlin' Sheets

This may be the best thing to happen to sex since the invention of Sasha Grey. Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with: BACON. FLAVORED. LUBE.

Yes, this is real. No, you're not dreaming. Yes, I can wait a few minutes while you recover.

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All good?

Okay. Now a few words from the creators of this masterpiece in engineering.

Before you start giving meat-flavored massages, we have one small admission to make - baconlube began as an elaborate April Fool's prank and was never intended to be a real product. But when the joke ended, the emails kept coming. People harassed us via email, in public and in highly inappropriate ways (thanks for that). The waiting list grew to over 3,000 people. Expectations were built.

So who's responsible for this highly anticipated creation actually coming to life? You are, that's who. You and an intern named Martin actually, who sacrificed and offended his taste buds in the name of science on sample after failed sample before this really did taste like bacon.

We'll make no judgments about why you want this or what you want to do with it, but baconlube is here and it's real for a limited time. Keep It Sizzlin'.

And yes, I've ordered a bottle. If any ladies would like to help me do some product testing, hit me on Twitter.

The Sweet Smell of Success

This is an idea whose time has come. I'm tempted to buy some, but...with the friends I have, I'd probably awake from a booze session to find one of them standing over me with a fork.



I'd imagine this is a must-own for chubby-chasers. Just saying...

In the War Between Good and Evil...

...there can be but one winner. The world needs a hero, especially one who's sizzling and delicious.

The world needs Mr. Bacon!

Mr. Bacon vs. Monsieur Tofu
Mr. Bacon and Monsieur Tofu are fired up and ready to rumble, but only one can remain at the top of the food chain! Mr. Bacon stands 5-5/8" tall and fights for everything salty, greasy and meaty. Monsieur Tofu is 3-3/8" tall and represents all things made of coagulated soy milk.

And for the kiddies, a fun and tasty way to show support for their new idol, and his fight to make the world a more bacony place:

Good looks to TD for the spot.

Bacon Enthusiasts, Get Ya Guns Up

Finally, a weapon guaranteed never to fall into the hands of Muslim extremists. The people at ThisIsFreakingRidiculous bring you the BA-K-47, a 1:1 scale, bacon-wrapped model of the famous AK-47 assault rifle. Somewhere out there, a grease-loving redneck NRA member just fondled himself.

More about this delicious WMD (including additional pictures) can be found on TIFR's page.

Valentine's Day Gift Idea

Fellas—struggling to find a gift for your wifey/boo/3-times-a-week-jump-off? How about a present you both can enjoy? You can even give it to her while enjoying a nice Bacon-tini.

Who says the guys at Crooked Straight don’t know a thing or two about romance?