"Gimme a beat!"

Janet would be proud of this routine.



Are we going to talk about the fact that the 300 lb guy in football pads was hitting his marks better than any of the women who do this for a living? No? Okay then...

It's the Weekend

Time to eat that shit up...

Monday Kickstart: Finish Strong

Monday is here to fuck with you, like a shirt over your face while you're trying to perform a choreographed routine in front of a crowd. Don't let it win.



That girl is a soldier. I have trouble focusing when I'm typing an email and see a train going by across the river from my office window. She flawlessly performed a dance routine while not being able to see anything around her. She deserves all the rah-rahs.

Know who else deserves some rah-rahs? Jessica Storie deserves some rah-rah's. Why? Well, because Jessica deserves anything she wants...

Looks like the classic girl next door is all grown up. Let's go.

Penalty Kick

How has this never happened before?

*thinking*

Okay, it's obviously happened before. But how has it never been captured on film before?





And...guys being guys...how isn't there a whole genre of "girls kicking themselves in the face" porn out there?

It's the Weekend

Time for some big pimpin...

Scrambling

In the narrative of American culture, the star quarterback gets the hot girl. But, if 80s movies have taught us anything, the star quarterback is also the biggest douchebag in town. So what, then, would be better karma than for that douchebag to father a child by the hot girl; for that child to be a daughter; and for that daughter to then use the blessing of a prime gene pool to grow into a beautiful woman who gets paid to parade around in very little clothing? Thus forcing the douchey star quarterback to endure years of torment from knowing his sweet babygirl is regularly eyebanged by throngs of drooling guys.

The only issue with this scenario is that one of the dads in question is Doug Flutie, who is to the "douchebag star quarterback" stereotype what Common is to gangsta rap (regardless what Fox News racists will try to tell you).

From Shutdown Corner:

There will once again be a Flutie on the New England Patriots sideline this season. No, Doug Flutie isn't coming out of retirement at the age of 48.

Instead, the former NFL quarterback's daughter, Alexa, will be making her debut as a rookie cheerleader for the Pats.

As you can see, Miss Flutie is foine. And if her dad is looking to start a support group for famous fathers of hot half-naked female professionals, then he might think to call Mark Rypien. Mark's daughter, Angela Brunell, is now a quarterback in the Lingerie Football League.

I bet there's a lot of scotch drank at those support group meetings.

It's Friday

Time to fly...

Tail Report: Odaymis Romero

With all respect due to LeBron and Dwyane, the only talents in South Beach that I'm interested in watching are Ms. Romero's (a Heat Dancer). Te amo, mami...

Beach Volleyball Cheerleaders

In the immortal words of Glen Quagmire, ..."Giggity."

I never knew that beach volleyball had cheerleaders, but it's a fantastic idea whose time has come. I'd like to shake the hand of the fine gentleman who thought this up.

Well, of the guy who actually made it happen. I'm sure a million horny teenage boys watching Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh win Olympic Gold have thought of adding cheerleaders to the mix. And I'd rather not touch any of their hands.

Click here for the full picture gallery.