What's My Name?

Great find by the homie Pro. All you wannabe players that code names in your phone are just setting yourself up for a fall.

Tail Report: Chelsie Aryn

Playboy's Miss Social March 2011 has an innocent face and an anything-but-innocent body.

This girl is on fire. Sometimes, when putting together a Tail Report, I struggle to find a good selection of pictures. With Chelsie Aryn, I had to cut myself off before I ended up with triple digits. Lawdomercy...

The World is Vine

*dead*

*never coming back*

*I'm serious nucca it's over*

*goodbye*


(...and to TJ, before you even say it, YES the girlfriend/Facebook one looks familiar. Fuck you. lol.)

Monday Kickstart: Turnt Up at the Next Light

Technology is an amazing thing. And it's got jokes.


Frankly, I'm confused how these people didn't catch on quicker? Why didn't they figure out that someone was fucking with them? Did they really think the GPS had come to life? Maybe it's Monday morning and I'm thinking too hard.

Yup, it's Monday morning and I'm thinking too hard.

Enough thinking. I'm just going to stare at Jessica Vaugn for a while. That makes sense.

Let's go.

They Reminisce

"When it was a, sad occasion, and people wanted to be real, and they needed something to really heal 'em, they put on this song." — C.L. Smooth

While I'm getting caught up on stuff that I should've posted weeks ago, here's a fantastic piece about "T.R.O.Y." from Complex. TJ with the great assist.

Reliebers

I'm two weeks behind on this, and I have no excuse. Personally, I blame the drudgery of a 9-to-5 life, but...fuck.

You've already seen the video by now, I'm sure, so I'll give you my thoughts before reposting it.

1. Wait, Bieber REALLY sounds that douchey when he talks? There are white wannabe gangstas around the country listening to him and questioning everything they know.
2. Christ, what a little douche.
3. The guy making minimum wage to push that mop bucket around the club must daydream of dunking this little douche's head into said bucket and just holding it there 'til the struggling almost stops.
4. How sad are you about your life when you go home at night and realize you're a lackey in Justin Bieber's entourage? Do you masturbate using your own tears, or do you feel like those are too good for you?
5. What a little douche.

Justin Bieber Pisses Into Restaurant Mop Bucket -- 'F*** Bill Clinton!'
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A Thing of Wonder

Winnie Cooper's still got it.

It's the Weekend

Time to work on your to do list...

CollegeHumor's Favorite Funny Videos

Trailer: Gravity

I like to think myself to be a man of wit and words. I feel that, at times, I can be as urbane and forthwith as an Aaron Sorkin protagonist who's alone with his thoughts in a Michael Chabon mystery. So what, then, was my immediate reaction upon viewing this newly released trailer from the upcoming space thriller that's rapidly gaining hype?

"...fffuuucckkk..."

Throwback Thursday Bonus

Just because.

*dead off "Boogaloo Shrimp"*

Throwback Thursday: "Are You That Somebody" -- Aaliyah ft Timbaland

Let's switch up our Throwback trend, and give you something to move your feet to.

R.I.P. Aaliyah. We miss ya, babygirl.



My homegirl Steph with the suggestion.

Badminton Brawl

Yes, those words were typed together. Yes, intentionally.

From BroBible:

Badminton has always and will likely never cease being a relative joke compared to most sports. However, as everyone who took a high school gym class knows, (a. 99% of people who play badminton drastically overestimate their abilites, and (b. the sport can get a bit heated. This went down at the 2013 Canada Open, an event that exists.

The best part about this video may just be hearing a girl with a thick Canadian accent yelling, "STOP IT! STOP IIITTTT!"

Subliminal Thirst

Poor gal must be going through a dry spell.

Just in Case You Forgot...

...yeah, Rihanna's still on it.

Download: Childish Gambino -- "Centipede"

Childish Gambino is back. This track will move the room, though Glover still has a love affair with drastically switching beats midstream. That's always been a gimmicky beat-making move in my eyes, and it will never work when you start with as a strong, driving beat like this track runs over for 3/4 of the time.

Crazy use of the audio from the viral Charles Hamilton video at the end. If nothing else, Gambino is one of the most internet/tech age-in-tune artists out there these days.

Centipede

Monday Kickstart: Block Party

Finally, birth control that's 100% effective. And just think how clean it'll keep your sheets.



Every week in this post, we try to give you some motivation. We try to leave you with an image that will make your blood pump and give you a reason to power on through Monday. But this week's motivation, Ms. Lauren Ashley, might just make you want to lay in bed:

Yup. Let's go.

It's the Weekend

Time to catch a break...

All In

Welcome to the internet's latest video meme: group alley-oop dunks.

To me, the most amazing part of this video is that 10 guys fit into this tiny pool without crashing into each other.

Throwback Thursday: "Hip-Hop Saved My Life" -- Lupe Fiasco ft. Nikki Jean

Absolutely love this song. Quite possibly one of the best ever written and composed. But it's kind of strange to think of a Lupe track as a "throwback". But this track came out over five years ago, sooo...I think it's a fresh new member of the fraternity.

Hard to Swallow

All I'm saying is...I wanna meet Magen.

Blooper Troopers

You know there's nothing I like better than cops looking stupid. And Gordon Graham of Utah just wrote an opus on it.

From Autoblog:

In an episode that wouldn't have been out of place on Reno 911!, a man that was on suspicion of being under the influence of drugs, alcohol or both, was picked up by police for stealing a pickup truck, and managed to wriggle out of his handcuffs and steal the police cruiser he was being held inside. The entire fiasco, which took place last month near Salt Lake City, can be seen on the cruiser's in-car cameras.

The suspect, Gordon Graham, took advantage of the officers' inattentiveness while they were searching his truck, contorting about so his hands were in front of him, and then wiggling out of the cuffs. He then dove head-first through a flap that was opened for him after complaining about the heat, got in the driver's seat, and made a break for freedom.

Somewhere out there is a person who will take this video, speed it up, and set it to the Benny Hill theme music. And I will love that person, unconditionally.

Monday Kickstart: Hold On

This plays at times like a Red Bull commercial, and at other times like a dream directed by Stanley Kubrick. It's all-in, and it's all incredible. But synchronized-diving giraffes? WTF?



That is intense. The world can be beautiful and inspiring when you clear out the nonsense.

Speaking of beautiful and inspiring, time for this week's inspiration. For that, I'm going to turn things over to the lovely Ms. Christina Santini:

Poetry. Let's go.

Special K

Do kids still kick yo mama jokes? I feel like that can't still be a thing, that it's from my time so it can't possibly exist for anyone younger than me. Regardless, cool work by Kmart on this one.

"Sum Ting Wong"

Facepalm, KTVU. Total facepalm.

It's the Weekend

Time for the freaks to come out at night...

Throwback Thursday: "My Mind Playing Tricks on Me" -- Geto Boys

I dedicate this to me, who went on a four-day bender of epic proportions last week, and who is now in the midst of a seven-day, doctor-ordered sobriety binge. If I don't end up in the middle of the street punching the asphalt by Monday, I'm bathing myself in tequila.

Respect My Gangsta: The Impala

This is the Trinity of impalas.



Not to go overboard with the movie references here, but don't you wish you could get a mashup of this video and the audio from the final 50 seconds of Ferris Bueller running through his neighborhood? Complete with the slow motion of the impala jumping into the car.

Cos Lines

I have infinite hatred for this song. But I have infinite love for The Cos.

The Cos wins. Everything.

Put a 'Ring' on It

The one phrase that keeps running through my head: "This guy has a girlfriend."

From Heavy:

Remember that movie The Ring, the one with that freaky dead girl who crawled out of the television? That was scary enough in a movie, but to actually wake up to something that terrifying is pants wetting.

James Williams decided to try his hardest to give his girlfriend a heart attack by building a ghost puppet that would appear to be crawling out of the television set. James spent weeks building the puppet and waited for his girl to fall asleep on the couch. What happened next was probably one of the most evil pranks ever pulled. You might want to turn down the volume, girls who think they're about to be dragged off to Hell by a poltergeist tend to scream a lot.

While this is pretty funny (especially the 1:57 mark, after the terror, when he's consoling his traumatized mate, and reaches down for a booty squeeze...kklllaaaassssyyy), I still can't get past the fact that a guy who spends weeks building this elaborate puppet prank, almost sends her into cardiac arrest, then posts it all on the internet, has a girlfriend.

*sigh*

A Little Help

There are a lot of drawbacks to being a motorcyclist. Drivers in cars and trucks don't often see you when changing lanes. If it rains, you're fucked. And when you walk into someplace wearing your motorcycle jacket, all of your friends call you, "Biker Boyz." Or maybe that's just what I do to my friends.

But there are also a few advantages, not the least of which is mobility.



I love how nonchalant the woman is when she sees a guy on a bike in the next lane holding up her coffee mug. Like that shit happens to her every Tuesday.

Monday Kickstart: Feel the Heat

No words. None. It's too sexy in here for words, anyways.

Meet Taher Shah. Now try not to make out with your screen. I dare you.



I may be late getting this week kickstarted, but that has to make up for it X 1,000,000.

And now Helen Flanagan:

Let's go.

Happy 4th of July

'Murica... Fuck yeah.

Monday Kickstart: Shoulder the Load

We've all felt the pain of scuffing up a freshly shined shoe. Or someone stepping on your foot when you're wearing a clean pair of kicks. It's the worst. Even worse than having your neighborhood flooded.

Wait...what?

From UPROXX:

Narayan Pargaien went to cover a flood just north of New Delhi but didn’t want to get his fancy shoes wet so he found a local flood victim to hold him up. Pargaien is upset at his cameraman as he was supposed to film from above the helper’s shoulders. Instead he filmed the full scene, revealing the carrying. And even though the footage wasn’t ever used, the video made it to Youtube so Pargaien has been fired.

Let’s get serious for a moment: the flood in Uttarakhand is devastating as 560 people have died and 100,000 were evacuated from their homes. Which sort of makes this guy even more of a d*ck.

What I can't understand, is why he had to be out in the water, anyways? They couldn't film from a hill or a rooftop or something? I hope he at least gave the guy some money for carrying him like that. Anything less than $100 and I would've just thrown his ass into the water. And not only that, this guy was getting sent out to cover a flood; how wasn't he better prepared? Was he scheduled to cover a nightclub opening when his producer called and said, "Uh, Narayan, there's been a change of plans..."?

You know who would've been prepared? Kate Upton, that's who. Right, Kate?

Yup. Let's go.