It's Friday

Time to be a model citizen...

Common on The Daily Show

I'm a little late on posting this, as it aired last night. Good food for the mind and soul from Common, and his take on the Fox News b.s.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Common
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook

Throwback Thursday: "Life" -- K-Ci and JoJo

This is a highly underrated track from the former Jodeci frontmen, off the "Life" soundtrack.

Drill Baby, Drill

Glen Rice, you will heretofore be known as "That Nucca".

From Deadspin:

The National Enquirer grabbed some details from the upcoming Joe McGinniss Sarah Palin book, and this chunk is too delightful not to share with you immediately. Apparently Palin had a fling with former Heat/Hornet/Laker Glen Rice while he was in college and while she was a sports reporter in Alaska, all the way back in 1987. Rice confirms it in the book.

This is just the type of thing I needed to brighten my hump day.

The Enquirer report goes on to mention that Palin had a "fetish for black men at the time". At the time? Come on now, Sarah. You know the deal: Once you go black, you never go back. (Call me.)

Tail Report: Sharika Ellis

Miss Ellis is a Playboy hopeful, and I'm sure you'll notice two big reasons why she deserves a shot.




I love a natural woman. Especially 34-DDD-natural. Below you'll find a sampling of her plentiful Twitpic account (@SharikaEllis).

Disappearing Act

If your Monday has been like mine, then you know how Michel (the blonde kid) feels.

If you feel like Sven...well fuck you then, punk.

Pigeon Fight

This has made its way around the net by now, but it's still good enough for another 100 views. Guns and knives are for pussies. Real men pack pigeons.


EMBED-The Pigeon Fight - Watch more free videos

It's Friday

Time to go H.A.M....

Tail Report: Ariana Leigh

Meet Ariana. She's a bikini model from...

...why am I even acting like you're still reading this? Enjoy.

Darth Scott

Fantasy football ain't for the weak.

It's Always Archer in Philadelphia

The world's favorite secret agent is stopping by the stomping grounds of Dennis, Charlie, Mac, Sweet Dee, and Frank this fall.



Assist by Pat Hanavan.

Auto Eroticism: Jaguar C-X16

Suddenly Britain's back in the business of making stunning cars.

Hot on the heels of recent press releases on the new Lotus Espirit and Bentley Continental GTC, Jaguar has just upped the ante. I think this is the first time a Jaguar has ever made me say, "Daaaammmnnnnnn..." This car is just gorgeous. It's a "production concept", meaning you can look for it in showrooms in the near future (likely in the fall of 2012).

From Automobile Magazine:

the C-X16 slots in beneath the XK, seats only two, but packs a serious punch. A new all-aluminum supercharged 3.0-liter V-6, rated at 380 hp and 332 lb-ft of torque, lurks underhood. That engine’s paired with a hybrid system that offers a so-called “push to pass” function. Much like the KERS systems employed in Formula One racing, an electric motor — rated at 93 hp and 173 lb-ft of torque — can provide an extra boost.

Jaguar says that powertrain is just as mean as it is green: in fact, the automaker claims it can rocket the C-X16 from 0-60 mph in 4.4 seconds, and ultimately to a top speed of 186 mph.

There are no early hints at the price tag, but given the market sector they're aiming for, I'm going to guess you'll need at least $50,000 to have one sitting in your driveway. If I had that kind of money to spend on a car, I would struggle with a decision between one of these and a BMW M3, which says A LOT.

Here are some more photos from Top Gear's website (they have even more beyond these).

It's the Weekend

Time face facts...

Scrambling

In the narrative of American culture, the star quarterback gets the hot girl. But, if 80s movies have taught us anything, the star quarterback is also the biggest douchebag in town. So what, then, would be better karma than for that douchebag to father a child by the hot girl; for that child to be a daughter; and for that daughter to then use the blessing of a prime gene pool to grow into a beautiful woman who gets paid to parade around in very little clothing? Thus forcing the douchey star quarterback to endure years of torment from knowing his sweet babygirl is regularly eyebanged by throngs of drooling guys.

The only issue with this scenario is that one of the dads in question is Doug Flutie, who is to the "douchebag star quarterback" stereotype what Common is to gangsta rap (regardless what Fox News racists will try to tell you).

From Shutdown Corner:

There will once again be a Flutie on the New England Patriots sideline this season. No, Doug Flutie isn't coming out of retirement at the age of 48.

Instead, the former NFL quarterback's daughter, Alexa, will be making her debut as a rookie cheerleader for the Pats.

As you can see, Miss Flutie is foine. And if her dad is looking to start a support group for famous fathers of hot half-naked female professionals, then he might think to call Mark Rypien. Mark's daughter, Angela Brunell, is now a quarterback in the Lingerie Football League.

I bet there's a lot of scotch drank at those support group meetings.

Throwback Thursday: "Deja Vu (Uptown Baby)" -- Lord Tariq and Peter Gunz

For a few months in 1998, this track was all you could hear anywhere you went. This also helped usher in the era of off-colored fitteds (I had a yellow Yankee, with the navy blue "NY" myself).

This is one of those "New York emcee squad-up" videos, where you can find everyone from Big Pun to Redman representing.

Jay Sean Mixtape Sneak Peek (ft. Jessica Burciaga)

If you're a Jay Sean fan...good for you. Myself, I'm much more a fan of Jessica Burciaga's impressive body...of work.

In the end, we both win.

Tail Report: Tatum Miranda

Those eyes...pretty eyes are always my downfall.

Miss Miranda is, according to her Twitter profile, an "international bikini model and recording artist". I don't know about all of that, but what I do know is she is a scorching hot beauty. The photos below are just a sample of what you can find in the galleries at her official webpage.

I think I'm in love.

Booty Music

From Lyndsey Parker at Reality Rocks:

You've probably tried to block it from your mind, but you may remember with a shudder that back in March of this year, Kim Kardashian attempted to follow in the Manolo-shod footsteps of fellow reality-TV starlets Paris Hilton and Heidi Montag and launch a pop "singing" career. The resulting single, "Jam (Turn It Up)," was so awful, it made Heidi sound like Adele. The song became of the butt of jokes (pun intended) by critics and tweeters alike, and Kim swiftly went about getting engaged and orchestrating a grand tabloid wedding to make us forget all about the disaster.

Ouch. Lyndsey must've gotten cut off on the highway this morning by someone driving a car with a license plate that read "KIM", because she just went for the jugular in this post.

Anyways, here is the clip from Kim K.'s video. With sound turned up, the needle tilts to the right on the "Laughable/Painful" scale. With the sound turned off (highly recommended, at least for repeat viewings), it's Kim at her best—in other words, it's a "Tail Report".

Up in Smoke

This is... I mean...

From The Huffington Post:

In a new video for VladTV, members of the reunited group addressed the rumors that long persisted that the rapper, who was in 1996, had rolled up his ashes and smoked it.

"Yeah, it's definitely true. I think it was the night of, we had a little memorial for him, with his mom, his family and s*it," Young Noble said. "And we hit the beach, do a lot of s*it he liked on the beach. Some weed, some chicken wings, he loved orange soda and all that kind of s*it. Pac loved that kind of s*it, so we were giving him our own farewell that night. That night, I forget which one of us came up with that s*it."

"I came up with that s*it, if you listen to 'Black Jesus' he says last wishes, n*ggas smoke my ashes, so that was a request that he had. Now whether how serious he was about it, we took the s*it serious," E.D.I. added in.

"I forgot which one of us came up with it, like we need to go and do that, but we twisted up some of that great grandaddy California kush and mixed the big homie with it," Young Noble added.

As spiritual as Pac was, I can't help but wonder how this fits in with his feelings about last rites and a "proper" burial.

Tail Report: 2011 MTV Video Music Awards

I almost feel obligated to put up these posts whenever there's a popular awards show on, no matter how slim the pickings are among the photo galleries I find. Maybe I'll update this post if I come across some new ones tomorrow.

...Maybe I'll give a fuck.

Kelly Rowland
I've always felt she was slightly underrated.

Kim Kardashian
Newly betrothed to the NBA's version of Lenny from "Of Mice and Men"...god I hope I'm one of the first guys she cheats on him with.

Katy Perry
Seen here with the world's luckiest C-list actor. I like Russell, I really do. If I ever met him, I'd probably throw a stiff right cross, then pick him up off the ground and hand him a beer.

Demi Lovato
Seen here with Selena Gomez (Demi's on the left...I'm 75% certain). I had to check Wikipedia before I felt safe in appreciating this picture of her (she turned 18 last year, so it's cool fellas).

Maria Menounos
It's been a while since I've seen a halfway decent picture of Maria. I'm not entirely sure why that is. From what I can see here, she hasn't exactly fallen off. Maybe she's just stayed out of the spotlight a little. (Yeah, right...)