Video: Common ft. Nas -- "Ghetto Dreams"

Please accept this as an apology for putting you through my last post. It should more than soothe the pain in your eyes and ears.

*K Lew voice* "This track gooooeeessss..."




Found on Life + Times

*sigh*

Let me just apologize right now for posting this video. But my friend Shaina put it on my Facebook page, and...well, misery loves company.

From UPROXX:

Like most 55 year-old Caucasian males Allen Samuels is one thing by trade and something completely different by passion. But unlike your dad who sells insurance by day and restores old typewriters on the weekends (still pretty weird if you ask me) A. Sams is an Atlantic City casino host whose purpose in life is to come into his own as a hip hop artist in his mid-fifties.

His first single, “Livin De Life,” has dropped, and it’s a train wreck meets a car crash meets Chet Haze meets that time your dad sang karaoke at your birthday party. And before you ask, yes, the track is available on iTunes.

I'm warning you right now: Do NOT watch this if you've got a weak stomach, or if you suffer from clinical depression. If you do but still insist upon watching it, well...Crooked Straight bears no responsibility for the effects this video will have on you.

Throwback Thursday: "I Wish" -- R. Kelly

July was a tough month for yours truly. I'm dedicating this to all of my family members and friends who've moved onto a more peaceful place.

R.I.P.

Baller Blockin

The U.S. sees Pagani ridin...
They hatin...

For all of you Billionaire Boys Club members who've been itching to get your hands on the new Huayra, it looks like you'll have to tide yourself over with a Ferrari or McLaren until 2013.

From Yahoo! Autos:

Italian automaker Pagani was to begin selling its $1 million, 700 horsepower Huayra supercar in the U.S. later this year but federal safety regulators have said "Not so fast."

Pagani had applied for an exemption from federal auto safety rules requiring child-safe "advanced" airbags, arguing that complying with the rule would have caused "substantial economic hardship," according to documents from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.

NHTSA denied the request, essentially blocking the car from sale in the U.S., because Pagani failed to show that installing the airbags on the twin-turbocharged 12-cylinder carbon-titanium car would cause the company undue financial strain. Also, the Italian carmaker didn't show that serious efforts had been made to comply, the agency said.

I know Pagani is a relatively small operation, but I can't imagine any carmaker today—especially one making a $1 million car—not including the most up-to-date airbags and safety measures required by law. These types of things tend to add weight to a car and affect its balance (and therefore, performance), but I would much rather have a million-dollar car that keeps me and my co-pilot alive when we crash at 200 mph than one that kills us when we crash at 205 mph.

Auto Eroticism: Lotus Espirit

Lotus is stepping up their game.

The famed automaker has played the backburner to bigger brands from Britain such as Jaguar, Bentley, and Rolls Royce in the last couple of decades. But, as Tamara Warren reports at Life + Times, they're looking to make a big splash in the coming years, starting with the Espirit.

The unveiling of concept car is a landmark occasion for an auto designer. Lotus design director Donato Coco punctuated this point when the British company introduced six new cars at the Paris Motor Show last fall, fresh from his design studio. In less than two years on the job, Coco’s bold and sweeping strokes have redefined the look of contemporary Lotus cars as a premium marque designed to tangle with the biggest luxury brands. The Esprit, Elan, Elite, Elise, Eterne and the Lotus City Car — the Ethos hatchback— are a glance at the ambitious plans Lotus CEO Danny Behar hopes to achieve in the next product cycle.

The Esprit, a voluptuous two-seater mid engine supercar, is the first of these concept cars that will come to market in 2013. “This will be the first car that is completely new and will represent what we’ve been doing here for the past year,” Coco says. The car will speed from 0 to 62 mph in 3.4 seconds to reach a top speed of 205 mph.

While the angular features of the Espirit remind me of a Lamborghini, that's not necessarily a bad thing (aside from occasionally having the following convo with a young chick, who will likely be unfamiliar with the Lotus name: "Is that a Murcialago?" "No, it's a Lotus." "Oh."). And, since Lotus is targeting Porsche's share of the supercar market, the Espirit will likely be available at a fraction of a Murcialago's cost. If you've got a spare $150K lying around, I'd suggest you call up Lotus right now to place an order.

His Pimp Hand Needs a Workout

*dead*

From this douchebag getting his ass kicked by his girlfriend, to the anonymous cameraman fleeing once she spots him... If this wasn't staged, I'm nominating it for YouTube clip of the year.




From Attack of the Blog.

Lace Them Up

For the first time in my life, I'm excited about women's basketball. And it's all thanks to the Lingerie Basketball League.





Found on T.I.T.S. Blog.

Shanna's Got a Gun

Most guys would love to wife a Playboy Playmate. And if she's down to ride? All the better.

From Aol Travel:

Shanna McLaughlin, a former Playboy Playmate and current graduate student, was arrested on Monday night at Orlando International Airport for trying to board a plane with a concealed weapon.

McLaughlin, aka Playboy's Miss July 2010, was headed to Los Angeles for a photo shoot, local Orlando station WKMG reports.

McLaughlin, a graduate student at University of Central Florida, was passing through security when a TSA officer saw what appeared to be a handgun in her bag.

So far, so good. But before you fellas go ring shopping, check the rest of the story:

• She first told the officer that the gun was her boyfriend's, and she didn't know that it was in her bag. Ummm...ok. So your gun-toting boyfriend hid his piece in your carry-on?
• Then she said she has a license to carry a concealed weapon. About which time, I'm sure, the TSA officer informed her that her license doesn't mean a damn thing when it comes to carrying a weapon on a plane.
• When the officer opened the gun, he found hollowtip bullets. Alarms going off in your head yet, guys?

Let's put this all together now. She shows up for a flight carrying a handgun full of hollowtips in her bag, and tries to pass it off as her boyfriend's, while still claiming she has a license to carry it.

She may look like this, but if she comes my way? No thanks...I'm good. I'll stick to Jessica and Hiromi, thank you.

Fitz vs. Summer

Larry Fitzgerald recently challenged Summer Sanders to a race on her own "turf", so to speak. And while this video does much to fight stereotypes like "Black people can't swim" and "female athletes can't compete with men", it doesn't help the ol' "all Black people are dishonest" falsehood.

Iced Up

Looking to bring some Machine Gun Funk to your Captain & Coke, or just some Electric Relaxation to your glass of lemonade? Then Busted Tees has you covered:

Ice cubes for Ice Cube.

If you want to get your party crack-a-lackin' you're going to want to bring the noise with these Hiphopsicle beverage chillers.

Fill the flexible rubber mold with water, juice, or mix up your own libation and get ready to chill in style.

Four throwback shapes: microphones, boomboxes, turntables, and a little bling for your drizzank.

In case you're wondering... Yes, I'm currently placing my order.

The Love Below

Remember when rappers used to get arrested for guns and fights?

From Reuters, via Yahoo! News:

Miami police arrested Outkast rapper Big Boi on Sunday for possessing ecstasy and other drugs that the performer's lawyer later characterized as "contraband."

Media reports cited the Miami-Dade County Corrections Department's website as listing the rapper, whose real name is Antwan Patton, as having been arrested for having ecstasy, MDMA powder and Viagra, for which he had no prescription.

The Miami Herald reported that Big Boi faces a fourth count of possession of drug paraphernalia. Celebrity website TMZ.com said he was arrested by customs officials exiting a cruise ship, and that he'd been booked into jail in the afternoon but was released after posting a bond.

On the singer's official Twitter account, Big Boi initially tweeted "Fresh Out Baby!" and later, "...they said it was the Love Boat..." But details of the arrest could not be confirmed on Sunday evening.

I'll give Big Boi credit for the "Love Boat" line. But I don't understand the need for ecstasy when you're a Grammy-winning artist. Money and fame have long proven to be much more effective aphrodisiacs for women.

Tail Report: Minnie Gupta

I just learned of this tastey Indian dish, and I'm mad at that. She's delish.

And yes, I realize that some of these pictures looks like the editor went a touch heavy on the airbrushing. And no, I don't care.

The Girls of Summer

Grab a cold one, hit play, and just enjoy.

Fuck Yo Hurdles

I don't see what he did wrong. After all, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

Tail Report: SEAT Girls

Truth be told, I have no idea what SEAT is. But I'll tell you this: I don't give a fuuuuu...

Happy Friday.

It's the Weekend

Time to catch up on old times...

Tail Report: Kim Lee

Ms. Lee is wifey-fine, and made a blink-&-you'll-miss-it appearance in Hangover Part II this summer (she was one of Tyson's dancers).

Throwback Thursday: "Ryde or Die" -- Ruff Ryders

People tend to forget the days when this was this illest clique around. And this cut was a sick posse track that showcased their trademark bravado.

Small sidenote: Drag-On blew up after this video...then just as quickly disappeared.

Auto Eroticism: Bugatti 16 C Galibier

I don't know how I feel about this.

From Yahoo! Autos:

Given the superlative nature and awesome speed of Bugatti’s already legendary, 250-plus mph Veyron supercar, interest in the manufacturer’s follow-up is intense. The company had previously gone on record as saying that its next model wouldn’t be a supercar, but details were scant — until now. In a recent article from the German magazine Auto Motor und Sport, Bugatti CEO Wolfgang Dürheimer confirms that the new car will be in the vein of the controversial 16 C Galibier concept, which debuted in 2009. It will seat four and have a generous trunk, Dürheimer says; you can bet that a set of fitted luggage will be one of the pricey options.

More important is what’s fitted up front, of course, which the article claims will be a 16-cylinder engine, although power output wasn’t mentioned. (The W-16 under the Galibier’s butterfly bonnet delivers a mere 800 hp, somewhat less than the 1,001 churned up by the 8-liter W-16 in the mid-engine Veyron.) The Galibier concept is big, though, so don’t expect Veyron-esque, sub-three-second zero-to-60-mph sprints no matter how much carbon fiber and aluminum the new car contains. Interestingly, a hybrid model (presumably a plug-in hybrid) is on the docket as well, with an electric-only driving range of about 25 miles, according to Dürheimer.

On the one hand, I would love to take a long road trip in a car like this. I just drove to Chattanooga and back within the past week; as unpleasant as a trip of that length can be, doing so in this car would have to make it just that much better.

On the other hand, the words "Bugatti" and "family" just don't seem to belong in the same sentence. I mean, if your kids are 17 or older, then maybe it's not so bad. But can you imagine having two small children in an interior of extravagant leathers and woodgrain? How many scratches, rips, and stains would you have to get fixed after the first week?

Back to Regularly-Scheduled Programming

Sorry for the mini-hiatus. If you follow me on Twitter (which any of you with a Twitter account SHOULD already be doing, *ahem*), then you know that last Friday I left for a trip to visit my family in Tennessee. In doing so, however, I completely forgot that the site would likely go unattended-to while I was on the road. But I'm back, and ready to go.

Did ya miss me?