Friday, May 28, 2010

It's Friday

Time to boogie...

CNN Fail

News fail #2 of the day: If you're dedicating a Coolio song to the 100+ year old Black lady on whom you're doing a special segment, perhaps your editor should check to make sure you're using the radio version.

No Parking

From the "Police are dicks" file: KTLA Morning News set up a segment on four new cars, which included the obvious step of getting a permit to park them in a lot in Santa Monica. But apparently that was lost on this policewoman, who—ignoring the reporter and film crew—writes out four parking tickets. Brilliant.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Too Pretty for Porn

Complex Magazine did something most of us have probably thought about at some point in time (and don't act like you haven't): they ranked the 50 hottest stars of porn, with some surprises along the way. A few of the highlights on the list:

#50. Jenna Jameson
"Arguably the Jigga of porn (complete with vast media empire and gradual fall-off), Jenna branded her dazzling looks (pre-surgery) into a one-woman industry complete with a billboard in Times Square."

#43. Havana Ginger
"Porn shamelessly appeals to ethnic stereotyping, and this black and Latina Cali chick gets the, um, 'best' of both worlds. Not only did she star in Latina Anal Heartbreakers, she also was featured in Black Ass Candy. We're post-racial, Barack! We did it!"

#39. Adriana Sage
"Holy shit! This girl is perfect: She likes comic books (her name was taken from the X-Men), she digs rap (she appeared in 50 Cent's 'P.I.M.P.' video), and loves football (her website include NFL predictions). Also, she's a porn star. Well, 'former,' anyway."

#32. Priya Rai
"Honestly, Priya doesn't seem like the best lay in the universe (unless it's a hate-fuck, since she's kind of snotty), but we have to root for a woman who started doing hardcore at age 30. Top Brahmin!"

#27. Kristina Rose
"When this San Diego native visited our offices for a pictorial x interview, we found her outgoing personality almost as bubbly as her perfect bookshelf rump. White girls with ass, yeah? Like Depeche Mode said: We just can't get enough."

#24. Adrenalynn
"Back when porn-star-slash-tattoo-artist Adrenalynn (a.k.a. Adrianna Lynn) was modeling for JC Penney, nobody knew that she would eventually have 'Jarrod's Little Fuck Doll' tatted around her asshole. Wait, isn't that the droopy-skinned dude from the Subway commercials?"

#19. Alexis Love
"Despite weighing under 100 pounds, this slender Sacramento-bred Latina is a heavy hitter--she won a 2009 AVN award for the 'Best All-Girl Couples Sex Scene.' We don't even really know what that means exactly, but we're excited about it."

#5. Sasha Grey
"Known for delicate features, a raunchy mouth, and a willingness to do almost anything, Sasha is the indie darling of the adult-film world: She took her name from an Oscar Wilde book (The Portrait of Dorian Gray) and starred in Steven Soderbergh's The Girlfriend Experience. Oddly, we've never experienced a girlfriend with such proclivity for being tied up and face-fucked."

#1. Maria Ozawa
"Everything about this French-Canadian/Japanese beauty seems kinda abnormal for a porn star, from her stable childhood to her unhurried entry into the adult biz. But most of all, its her utter flawlessness (finally non-pixelated!) that continues to astound us. Thank heavens she doesn't think she's too pretty for porn."

The full list

50 Sheds 50

Maybe his new name should be "Buck-Fifty"? Entertainment Weekly reports that 50 Cent has shed over 50lbs for his role in the straight-to-DVD movie "Things Fall Apart", directed by Mario Van Peebles (and they included the frightening picture to the right).
For a movie that will likely go straight to DVD, 50 Cent (real name: Curtis Jackson) made a hell of a sacrifice. Usually the MC looks like an NFL linebacker. But for his starring role in the Mario Van Peebles-directed Things Fall Apart, a movie he wrote, 50 dropped 54 pounds to play a college football player battling cancer.

Here's hoping someone has a sandwich waiting for him the second shooting wraps.

Throwback Thursday: "Quiet Storm (White Lines)" -- Mobb Deep

"You try to stop mines from growin, I'll make ya blood stop flowin". Prodigy and Havoc at their sickest.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Respect My Gangsta: Rafael Nadal

Jordan wore the shoes. Rickey Henderson wore the gold chain. And now, Rafael Nadal is sporting a $500k+ watch while he whoops everyone's ass in tennis. During this year's French Open, Nadal is wearing one of only 50 20-gram watches made by Swiss watch maker Richard Mille. The watch is valued at $525k. And if you're wondering how it performs, Nadal smashed Gianni Mina 6-2, 6-2, 6-2 yesterday.

Richard Mille Website

Download: Rick Ross "Money Maker"

My least favorite personality in hip hop continuing to drop boss music. Produced by Boi-1da, who is apparently producing everyone in the game right now.

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All Tied Up

I didn't get a chance to watch the game, but the Suns have made this one a contest. A buddy of mine said that when the Lakers were up in the series 2-0 and the books were giving +850 on the Suns to win the series it was a good bet. Now the Suns have tied it 2-2 and the the line on the Suns to win the series has dropped dramatically to +290. I'm a little disappointed that I didn't drop a buck on the Suns when they were +850.

Props to Steve Nash, who had to snap his broken nose back into place during the game.

Download: T.I. ft. Keri Hilson "Got Your Back"

Not really my type of song but it might float your boat.

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Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Fan Fight: Angels vs. White Sox

I've noticed there's always two things involved in baseball fan fights: chicks and beer throwing. Dude in the Griffey jersey GAVE him one.

Jordan Infrared VI Pack

These are quite illy and dropping June 19th.

Stand and Deliver: Russell Peters

While I kind of agree with Russell, I have to say: the English accent on a girl is sexy as hell. All my British cuties, holla at ya boy.

I'm from England! - Funny home videos are a click away

Tail Report: Lydia Lassila

I'm thinking I should've paid more attention to the Winter Olympics. Apparently this lovely Australian won a gold medal for her freestyle skiing in Vancouver. Although I've never seen her ski, I'd have to agree that she does have splendid form.

Respect My Gangsta: Jason Williams

Further proving that despite how well he plays, Matt Barnes will never be important enough in the NBA to enable reports to crowd J-Will's locker. So please, back the f*ck up. Why? Because you don't want White Chocolate to get mean. Plus, he asked you three times.

Download: Royce Da 5'9" ft. Big Sean "My Own Planet"

This is from Royce's Street Hop album. I can dig it. Does anyone know if Slaughterhouse ever ended up signing with Shady?

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Daily Dunk: Paul Pierce

Even though they lost in overtime, I'm going with PP for the Daily Dunk. Honestly, I didn't know he could still dunk. I'm also surprised he didn't get injured on the play and then miraculously come back into the game three minutes later. But I digress. Now the question is: Celtics in five? Or is this going six, seven games deep?

Download: Keak Da Sneak "Don't Make Dollaz, Make No Sense"

Yezzirreeindeedini... I had to find a Keak track because life without Keak isn't life at all. This is a joint he dropped earlier this year, produced by Prince N Purps. I admit it may not be his best work but it's Keak Da Sneak and he's a legend so it goes. For all you east coast heads and down south wodies, expand your horizon. "Fishscale flake shake somethin' to the heart break..."

Keak dropped his latest album "Mob Boss" last week.

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Monday, May 24, 2010

Nyjer Morgan: Fail

I got a lot of love for Nyjer Morgan. If you've ever seen him interviewed or on one of those inside baseball shows, he's got a lot of spirit and he's fun for the game. But he really showed his ass on this play.

In an attempt to do his best Kenny Lofton impression, Morgan raced back and tried to steal a homerun. What this Rhodes Scholar didn't realize was that the ball was never going out of the park and it bounced off the wall and landed on the warning track. Meanwhile, Morgan was acting like a little leaguer who just lost the championship, throwing his glove on the ground and pouting while Adam Jones ran around the bases for an inside-the-park...homerun? If you say so.

The Ivey Room opens at Aria in Las Vegas

Aria (owned by Harrah's) honored poker living legend Phil Ivey by naming it's high stakes poker room "The Ivey Room."

To commemorate the opening, Aria had a $1 million freeroll tournament. First place was $250k and there were bounties for knocking out all the pros, including a $100k bounty for knocking out Ivey. Fellow pro Chino Rheem got that bounty. I'm not sure why I wasn't in this tournament, I could use the $250k for first.

The Way of the Samurai

Kung-Fu Panda's got nothing on this nucca.

Jordan Retro IX University Blue White

No drop date yet. These are hard but I can't imagine what you're gonna rock them with, so they'll just look pretty with the rest of your 'J' collection on the wall, shelf or in the display case. I guess if you hoop for North Carolina (all 15 of you), you'll look sick with these on and the home uni's.


Daily Dunk: Shannon Brown

I don't think this will be the last time we'll hear from Shannon Brown before the playoffs are over. Does dude even have a nickname? He's like the new Harold Minor. Maybe we can call him Baby 'Nique.

Download: Drake ft. Young Jeezy "Unforgettable"

Jeezy, Drake, Jeezy, Drake, Jeezus... Get used to that duo because this song is gonna be on the radio for about seven months. Looks like Drake has his sights set on Jay-Z numbers because this is another fresh track catered to the mainstream fan base. Jeezy lends a helping hand and murders it as well. Produced by 40.

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Download: The Game ft. Lil Wayne+Birdman "Everything Red"

This song is cool although there's definitely some unnecessary autotune going down in it. But if you like to bang damu you're gonna love it. The verses are decent and could've made the song a lot better because the beat and hook go.

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Saturday, May 22, 2010

Terry Crews is the Man

Yeah, these ads are kind of old news by now, but I don't give a fizzle when something's this funny.

Friday, May 21, 2010

It's Friday

Get ya guns up...

The Big Caption

Just found this site, and it's fantastic. Good for a mid-Friday distraction.

The Big Caption

Crooked Straight Poll

We're in the process of trying to bring a better site to everyone and we'd like to know what you want to see more of.

Please let us know by indicating what you're interested in.

The poll is on the right side and will be up for a month.


Daily Dunk: Tony Allen

I have to be honest: I'm a Celtics hater. But the green goblins really should have received more love for defeating the top-seeded Cavs in the Leastern Conference Playoffs. Instead, the story evolved from "Lebron is playing bad" to "Where will Lebron go now?" to "Delonte is banging Lebron's mom," with everyone forgetting about the team that moved on to the conference finals.

So this is my tribute to your accomplishment, Boston. And from the looks of it, we'll get to see another Lakers/Celtics final, version 127.

Download: Drake "9 AM in Dallas" Freestyle + "Thank Me Later" Tracklist

Sometimes as an emcee you just need to record something. It's an addiction. That's what Drake did with this over a Boi 1da beat in Dallas, early in the a-m.

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Also, here's his tracklist for his upcoming "Thank Me Later" album:

1. Fireworks f. Alicia Keys (prod. Crada & 40)
2. Karaoke (prod. Francis & The Lights)
3. The Resistance (prod. 40)
4. Over (prod. Boi-1da & Al-Khaaliq)
5. Show Me A Good Time (prod. Kanye West)
6. Up All Night f. Nicki Minaj (prod. Boi-1da)
7. Fancy f. T.I . & Swizz Beatz (prod. Swizz Beatz)
8. Shut It Down f. The-Dream (prod. Omen & 40)
9. Unforgettable f. Young Jeezy (prod. Boi-1da & 40)
10. Light Up f. Jay-Z (prod. Tone Mason & 40)
11. Miss Me f. Lil Wayne (prod. Boi-1da w/ 40)
12. Cece’s Interlude
13. Find Your Love (prod. Kanye West & Jeff Bhasker)
14. Thank Me Now (prod. Timbaland)

Download: Jin "Say Something" Mixtape

I haven't had a chance to hear this but it's good to see my favorite Chinese emcee back in the studio. I have to admit that Jin is falling into the ranks of other underground legends that could never really put together a solid album (i.e. Canibus, J.U.I.C.E., etc.).

Mediashare Download

T.I.T.S. World Cup Shirts

Promo code (25%): Diploma

Shop T.I.T.S.

Dope Nike World Cup Spot

Nike does it again with a fresh commercial. For all you hoop fans, watch until the end...

Scourge with the dish.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Stand and Deliver: Joe Rogan

Good shit from the unofficial king of the comedy underground.
Joe Rogan - Anti-Pot Commercials
Futurama New EpisodesUgly AmericansFunny TV Comedy Blog

Throwback Thursday: "5 Boroughs" -- KRS-One ft. All of NY

Well, maybe not quite all of New York, but it feels like it. This is the crew track of all crew tracks: KRS-One, Vigilante, Buckshot, Keith Murray, Cam'ron, Bounty Killer, Killah Priest, Prodigy, Redman, and Rev. Run, each man repping his neighborhood so hard that you swear you can smell the piss in the alleyways. Even a West Coast boy like The Hero would agree, this track goes.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Daily Dunk: Jelan Kendrick and Eric Ferguson

Jelan and Eric are both recruits of major college basketball programs, and you're about to see why. These two young men love going to the rim so much, they do it together. No homo.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Tail Report: Miss USA 2010

By now I'm sure you've read the headlines about a contestant of Arab-American heritage, Rima Fakih, winning the crown for the first time (and I'm sure it took reading about it to even know that, since no one with even half of a life actually watches the show). Of course, if you have been following the news, then you also know that Rima can work the pole as well as the catwalk. At Crooked Straight we know what you want, so here's Miss Fakih's official pageant photos, along with some of her fantastic competitors.

Miss Michigan USA: Rima Fakih

Miss Arizona USA: Brittany Bell

Miss Pennsylvania USA: Gina Cerilli

(Considering that Miss PA comes from a town about an hour away from me...I'm thinking she and I need to be introduced. Gotta make some calls.)

Miss North Carolina USA: Nadia Shirin Moffett

Miss Arkansas USA: Adrielle Churchill

Miss Hawaii USA: Renee Mokihana Nobriga

For all 51 contestants' photos, click here to visit the official pageant pages.