Monday Kickstart: Feel the Excitement

The only thing that could possibly make the USA's win in last night's Women's World Cup final better is a Mexican play-by-play announcer. Thankfully, NBC Deportes has just that.



I wish all announcers had that kind of passion for the games they call. Can you imagine Al Michaels losing his shit on Sunday Night Football when Odell Beckham, Jr. does this? Or Doc Emrick pounding his chest and screaming every time Evgeni Malkin snaps a wristshot past a goalie? Well, that one kind of already happens. But you get my point. Passion is what makes sports so exciting. And Mexican announcers have that in spades.

Speaking of "Mexicans" and "passion," this week's inspiration is the world's favorite meteorologist, Yanet Garcia:

Let's go.

It's the Weekend

Time to make some wishes outta airplanes...

Roll Out

If a bunch of Swedish soccer hooligans (...What? It's a thing.) are about to melt down in blonde Nordic rage, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Head Game -- She's Doing it Wrong

Ouchtown, population you girl.

Showboating Fail

If you're American, chances are you don't know who Mario Balotelli is. Turns out, you weren't missing much.

Tail Report: Hope Solo

Coverage of the US Women's Soccer Team in the recent World Cup has brought some racing heartbeats to this great nation of ours, and not just for the last-second heroics. Miss Solo, a goalie whose eyes can stop you in your tracks even faster than her quick reflexes can a penalty kick, has been America's darling over the last couple of weeks as we've watched her lead our team to the championship game, and heartbreakingly close to the championship itself. She even inspired a family feud for yours truly, causing my cousin and I to have a tweet-off over the rights to her heart. [I'm saying, Cuz... You may have the cool job, but I got the height! WHAT??]

She's still adjusting to her newfound fame though, as this clip with forward Alex Morgan (another US standout, both on the field and off) shows.





Sleep deprivation is a hell of a drug. I've got faith in you to get it right the next time though, babe. Call me (and not my knuckleheaded cousin).

His Main Squeeze

Some Americans say soccer is too boring. Well this gentleman seems to have found a great way to keep himself at attention during a match.

I'd love to have one of our Spanish-speaking readers provide a translation to the announcers' commentary.

"IT'S A CELEBRATION, BIT—uh oh..."

Since we're on the subject of fails today, check out this one from Real Madrid's Sergio Ramos. To be fair, though, he is a soccer player—he isn't accustomed to using his hands.

Karma's a Bitch

...Even soccer balls know that.

Respect My Gangsta: David Beckham

Becks has been in the news lately after allegations surfaced that he hired two hookers for a threesome. And that's in addition to being married to Posh Spice (to which I say "daaa" and "yum"). And when a random fan heckled him about it, he decided to calmly discuss the matter with him (see the video below).

From The Huffington Post:

David Beckham is accused of shelling out lots of money for a steamy threesome with a pair of prostitutes. One ex-call girl has publicly come forward, and the other prostitute has backed the story while remaining anonymous. An infamous madam also insists that Beckham cheated on his longtime wife.

For his part, Beckham has sued the magazine In Touch over the story and claims that the accusations are baseless. News of the World writes that there is "no proof" that the erotic romp ever took place.

This is one of those rare cases where the individual parts of the whole aren't really all that gangsta, but the sum total = gangsta.

Goalie Fail

We've all been there (and don't lie like you haven't): The anticipation of the moment has you in a frenzy, and possibly a little too excited. As it all starts, your rhythm and timing seem flawless, and you move in harmony with your companion's movements; and then, the heart-pounding moment of payoff, as everything comes to a head. Then, as the roar in your ears dies down and you, panting in glee, allow the rest of the world to return into your consciousness, an embarrassing realization comes over you. Your companion isn't finished; no, your "companion" is still rolling toward the goal. I'm talking, of course, about premature...celebration.

Soccer Sideline Reporter Murked

*dead*

Best Goal Celebration Ever

Brandi Chastain's striptease has nothing on these guys. "So what I do is...I cast my reel...pull it out...fry it, dye it, lay it to the side...red beans and gravy—I ain't too lazy!"

World Class Attractions

It seems like the World Cup and international tasteys go hand-in-hand (man, if I had only known that when I was in L.A. during the 1994 tournament; of course, I was only 15 at the time...but I digress). In the spirit of last Wednesday and Friday's posts, here are two good odes (especially the Playboy link, which is pretty comprehensive) to the scores of gorgeous women associated with the world of soccer, from WAGs (some in bodypaint) to dedicated fans.

Kind of gives a whole new meaning to the nickname "the beautiful game".

Gunaxin's "Top 100 Footballers' Wives and Girlfriends"

Playboy.Com's "Girls of the World Cup"

World Cup 2010

The World Cup has officially started in Johannesburg, South Africa. Luckily for the other 31 nations involved, the title won't be won based on who has the hottest fans. Brazil's tough to beat on the field, but there's absolutely no chance against them in the stands.



Go Team USA.

Soccer Ain't So Bad

The most popular sport in the world has never really caught on here in the good ol' U-S-of-A. But with the 2010 World Cup set to kick off in a couple of days, Manofest decided to put together a little gallery that might help open a few Yankee minds. Click the link at the bottom for "The 100 Hottest Female Soccer Fan Photos"—but first, a preview:

Argentina




Sweden




Brazil




South Korea




USA



The 100 Hottest Female Soccer Fan Photos

Gay Ref?

They say one of the surest signs that significant progress has been made in the Gay Rights Movement will be the day when there are openly-gay players in major league sports. After watching this video, I'd say we're getting nearer to that magical equilibrium with every passing day.