Tail Report: Female Sports Fans

I'm not sure what's going on with girls at stadiums and arenas lately, but they all seem to be feeling a little bolder. I like it.

That last sign, of course, brings to mind Jenn Sterger. We all know what she's been up to as of late, but where have her three friends been?

They deserve just as many minutes of fame and dick pics as Jenn. There's no justice in this world, I tell you.

Respect My Gangsta: Brent Johnson

For hockey fans, this is one of the highlights of the season. For Penguins fans, this is one of the highlights of the franchise's history. For the rest of you, who just enjoy watching someone get dropped by a mean left, this is one of the highlights of your day.

If you mess with Johnson's teammates, he WILL fuck your day up. Stated.

Champions

With all due respect to the Los Angeles Lakers and Michael Vick, the biggest sports news of this past weekend is that the Pittsburgh Penguins are the 2009 Stanley Cup Champions. With the drama of the 2008 Finals rematch coming down to a winner-takes-all Game 7, a thrilling game that came down to the final seconds, and the Marian Hossa storyline, Friday's win by the Penguins was nothing short of epic. Congratulations to them for bringing Lord Stanley's Cup back to Pittsburgh.

Peace (in Hockey) by Inches

I dedicate this to my Pittsburgh Penguins, who find themselves in a 0-2 hole against the Detroit Red Wings, with a pivotal Game 3 on the line tonight in the Stanley Cup Finals.

While Pacino's speech is geared toward football, it could just as easily be applied to hockey. Both are about sacrificing yourself as part of a team, and every last one of the Penguins needs to take heed of this lesson tonight if they're going to come back in the series.

GO PENS!!