Dear Replacement Refs,
It’s not you, it’s us.
…Okay, that’s a lie. It’s definitely you. But it’s not your fault. From the start, you’ve been a rebound. A fling. A cheap substitute for what we used to have. You were never truly prepared for the baggage and pressure that a relationship with us would bring. But, to your credit, you stepped in enthusiastically, ready to give your all. We admire that about you, we do. We certainly can’t imagine being put in that position ourselves—one of near-certain failure—and walking forward with our heads held high. That resolve, that pluck…it’s one of the reasons we felt so comfortable with you in the beginning.
But now things have gone as far as they were ever really destined to go. This relationship, this rebound, could only last but so long. Our Ex was always expected to be back in the picture, sooner or later. We knew it. You knew it. Our Ex knew it. We couldn’t stay mad at each other forever. We’re soulmates, our Ex and us; we know each other’s quirks, flaws, and strengths better than we know our own. We’ve built something strong over the last few decades—much too strong for any trivial fight over money matters to ever erase. We belong together; we just needed some time apart to remind us of that.
But the time has come to say goodbye. We now understand what we were meant to learn from this whole episode: That you aren’t the solution. You can’t be, no matter how much you or we want you to be. We need our Ex back. It’s what’s best for everyone.
We just hope you can bear to face us from now on.
Love always,
NFL Fans
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