Auto Eroticism: Elemment Palazzo

Does this look like something you would pay $3 million for? Probably not, since it looks like it was designed as an ode to Sarah Jessica Parker. But beauty—or lack thereof—is only skin deep.

From Yahoo! News:

Austrian company Marchi Mobile designed Palazzo as part of its Elemment line of luxury vehicles that very visibly displays the trappings of wealth. You'll see in Palazzo what you never thought you'd see inside an RV. Master bedroom with an adjoining bathroom? Check. Leather interior? Check. Rainfall shower, fireplace, and 40" TVs? Check, check, check.

Impressive enough as it is, it doesn't end there — the 40' long Palazzo also has a pop-out bar replete with a skylight and underfloor heating that you can activate by pushing a single button. The bar adds 80% more room to the camper's original 430 square feet floor space. When it comes to the exterior side of things, you may or may not be glad to know (depending on how you feel about it) that the Palazzo is covered in glow-in-the-dark paint.

The Palazzo sounds perfect for a weekend roadtrip from Monaco to the Formula One grand prix in Valencia. You know, for those peasants who can't afford to own more than one house.

Cars 3: A Horror Story

*sigh* Women drivers...

Forgive my misogynistic overtones, but reading this article and looking at the pictures just brings it out of me. I know the fairer sex finds the term-of-endearment that I opened with above to be offensive (if not quaint, in an Archie Bunker kind of way). And I know that someone having lady parts instead of gentleman parts doesn’t preclude them from being able to drive well. Hell, Danica Patrick has proven that, as have others before her. To be clear: I don’t think women are incapable of being good drivers; I just think most of them aren’t good drivers.

I’ve had enough near misses and road-rage-induced-meltdowns due to women piloting cars with reckless abandon to form this opinion. But before any of you ladies start sending me hate mail (or additional hate mail, for some of you), read this Yahoo! Autos story. Then tell me if you’re madder at me for my comments, or at this woman for acting as your representative.

From Yahoo! Autos:

The Hope Diamond of fender benders unfolded yesterday in possibly the most conspicuous stretch of asphalt in the .75-square-mile principality — the round-about in front of the James Bond-worthy casino — when three blondes in a jelly-bean blue Bentley Azure ($363,000) scraped the rear of a white Mercedes-Benz S-Class (a paltry $91,000). And that was merely the appetizer.

Served up for the main course were a hapless black Ferrari F430 ($186,000), which was hit nose-first by the 2.7-ton Bentley. Then, like two tankers mashing in the fog, a four-door Aston Martin Rapide ($228,000) crunched into the Azure’s passenger door. The cherry on this metal, plastic and carbon-fiber shattering souffle: a stray Porsche 911 ($77,000).

In all, a Titanic mess in mere moments, involving nearly a million dollars of primo automotive machinery. How did this happen? A quick photo-based forensics of the scene based on knowledge of the Place du Casino offers many clues.

What’s evident is that these five vehicles did not all converge on each other in one massive supercar big bang. The Bentley clearly was at fault. Its nose is pointing straight at the casino’s entrance, an entrance where fine cars are routinely valet-parked diagonally. It seems that the Bentley’s driver thought she could sneak past the white Mercedes, then swerved right when she realized they were going to collide, which in turn clipped the Rapide coming up on her right. The Ferrari and the Porsche were collateral damage - parked directly in the Bentley’s now diverted path.

So ladies, I beg you to use common sense, before you or a girlfriend of yours plays bumper cars with another five beautiful and finely-tuned works of art. If you can afford a Bentley Azure (or if you're married to/dating/the daughter of someone who can...just saying), please do the world a favor and pay for some lessons to improve your critical driving skills as well.

You could even hire Danica to tutor you, if nothing else.

Ballin' Outta Control

"You should see my house. It's...SO exciting!"

—Morris Day, "Purple Rain"

When you own a multimillion dollar home, you have to go to great lengths to set yourself apart from your neighbors. Forbes (via Yahoo.com) has put together a list of some of the more outrageous features and amenities found in some of the country's' most expensive homes.

We pulled together a list of upscale abodes for sale or just sold that have been equipped with fantastic, unusual--and in some cases downright wacky--amenities. These are not your typical luxe enhancements like home theaters, wine cellars and game rooms, although most of our estates have those features too. Our friends at Trulia.com, Realtor.com, Sotheby's International Realty and Coldwell Banker Previews International helped us uncover these unique listings.

As you might imagine, this list is enough to bring a tear to the eye of anyone who can only dream of affording these measures of luxury. I mean, who hasn't dreamed of having their own Bat Cave?

The $10 million cliffside dwelling at Point Place in Laguna Beach, Calif., would make Bruce Wayne proud. The driveway has a secret, subterranean entrance below the house's steep perch, inside the cliff itself. Once a car passes through the hidden garage door, a commercial-grade hydraulic lift transports it up and into the house.

And, even without comic-book-movie-inspired secret entrances, this Vegas home is the stuff of dreams. If I was the owner, I'm certain my crew would make it mandatory that I host every Memorial Day, Fourth of July, and Labor Day barbecue every year for the rest of my life.

Even among snazzy home swimming holes, Las Vegas' $10 million Wood Creek Court residence stands out. It has a full-on water park with sandy beach island, a sunken swim-up bar--even a lazy river.

It's enough to make even Morris jealous.