Tail Report: Christian Serratos

Not everything about the "Twilight" movies is terrible. Most of it? Sure. Every last bit of it aside from Christian? Yup.

But Christian's not terrible. Here's a short behind-the-scenes video of her recent FHM photo shoot that proves it.

Twilight Broken Down

If you hate loathe "Twilight" and Stephenie Meyers (the over-hyped, plagiarizing hack behind the books) like I do, I guarantee you'll feel redeemed after reading this great piece from The Oatmeal.

First off, the author creates a main character which is an empty shell. Her appearance isn't described in detail; that way, any female can slip into it and easily fantasize about being this person. I read 400 pages of that book and barely had any idea of what the main character looked like; as far as I was concerned she was a giant Lego brick. Appearance aside, her personality is portrayed as insecure, fumbling, and awkward - a combination anyone who ever went through puberty can relate to. By creating this "empty shell," the character becomes less of a person and more of something a female reader can put on and wear.

This short piece (click here) is true to the very last detail, and—unlike "Twilight"—is a great read.

Call Me a Hater, But...

...this made me chuckle. It's sad to say, but I was disappointed to hear that he wasn't seriously hurt.


From People.com:

Amid a New York City mob of frenzied fans, Rob Pattinson collided with a taxi on the street outside the Strand bookstore downtown Thursday, according to reports.

The Twilight actor, in Manhattan filming Remember Me, apparently attempted to run across the street to escape a hoard of fans when he was clipped on his hip by a moving cab, whose driver slammed his breaks upon impact.

Pattinson, 23, did not appear to be injured and was able to walk away from the incident.

I actually don't have anything against this guy, aside from the fact that he has become immensely popular via a terrible, overrated movie franchise. And hearing about anything bad happening to someone connected to "Twilight" just makes me smile.

The full read can be found here.

Stephenie Meyer = Owned

You may not know who Meyer is off the top of your head, but surely you've heard of her vampire novel, "Twilight." The success of the literary series led to this past fall's film adaptation, which saw considerable success of its own at the box office—thanks mostly to 13 year old girls the nation over (and millions of women two to three times that age who have the artistic taste of a 13 year old girl). So-called "critics" and media outlets around the world have fawned over the franchise, ignoring its lack of substance, depth, and...an interesting storyline.

But not Stephen King. The famous author took a moment of his time to weigh in on the significance of "Twilight" and the talents of Ms. Meyer.

In an interview with USA Weekend, the bestselling author compared Meyer with J.K. Rowling , the author of the Harry Potter series.

According to Stephen, "Both Rowling and Meyer, they're speaking directly to young people... The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good."

Thank you, Mr. King. It's refreshing to see someone speak honestly about this book-turned-fad. The full article can be found here.