Monday, August 10, 2015

Dear Dude Bros (A Cautionary Tale)

So as the Patrick Kane allegations start to give informational nuggets many questions should be asked. Many things should NOT be asked. I do think that thoughtfulness for the alleged victim and alleged (but not charged) perpetrator are needed. Sweeping judgments of guilt or innocence, truth or lies, "slut" or lady are harmful so I will be staying away from those and you should too.

My first thoughts when the story broke were

1. if the alleged victim was indeed raped then her experiences and the lasting haze they can have over her life should be the primary concern.

2. Kane putting himself in this position to begin with, no matter if he is guilty or not, was fucking stupid. These things hang over you forever innocent or guilty.

So it got me to thinking....

And after a few moments I said to myself "let me help my fellow dude bros out with a step by step guide so that you don't become to the next "victim" of Indian giver women and their evil vaginal powers."

Step 1
cut a hole in the box.....wait

sorry wrong thought process

Step 1
DON'T RAPE BITCHES!

that's it. Easy right?


  • Doesn't matter if she was all on your shit at the bar. When she says no DON'T RAPE BITCHES!
  • Doesn't matter if she is clothed in an Asa Akira school girl outfit with makeup by Jezebel herself. When she says no DON'T RAPE BITCHES!
  • Doesn't matter if she is the town slut and will suck every dick she can find for a peach Faygo and a manager's special from Popeye's which you gave to her AND with extra biscuits. When she says no DON'T RAPE BITCHES!
  • Doesn't matter if she is in mid suck and then changes her mind. Calmly put your dick away, call that woman a cab, slap it around a bit when she leaves and most importantly When she says no DON'T RAPE BITCHES!
I don't claim to have ALL the answers...but I think my fellow dude bros this is the starting point of a movement. We can make positive change by NOT RAPING BITCHES!


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