Tail Report: 2014 Golden Globes

Emma Thompson stole my heart that night. Sorry ladies, some of you may be younger and firmer, but none of you have that much gangsta in you. But that's for an On the Rocks wifey post to come...

Here's the best in skin from this year's Golden Globes.

Margot Robbie

The new "it girl"? Maybe. But I'll tell you one thing: Australia knows how to breed hot blondes. She's like 329,000th to come out of there. Not that I'm complaining...


Amy Adams

If nothing else, American Hustle has made Amy okay with her sideboob. I'm okay with it too.


Kate Mara

I'm not sure where she's been lately, but...welcome back.


Jennifer Lawrence

Prerequisite "She's perfect in every way so shut up I'm posting a picture anyways and leave me and my wifey alone" post.


Sofia Vergara

I'm not sure if there's a lifetime achievement award for sexiness, but if there is, Sofia's a lock. This was what she wore to the after-party, not the main event, but...I doubt anyone's going to nitpick technicalities here.


Sosie Bacon

Six degrees of ZOMG. You probably noticed the hot model handing the awards to soused celebs onstage during the event, but (like me) figured she was a nameless soul. Well, she's not so nameless. In fact, she's Hollywood royalty. Her mother: Kyra Sedgwick. Her father: Kevin Bacon. Yup, you've got nothing for her.

[NOTE: It's been brought to my attention that they announced Sosie and her pedigree live during the broadcast. I missed that. I suck.]

Tail Report: 2013 Golden Globes Red Carpet

In 2012 we made fun of Angelina Jolie for showing off her leg at an awards show. In 2013, every other gal on the red carpet is showing off her leg at awards shows.

I'm not hating, just making an observation.

Katherine McPhee

Jennifer Lawrence

Jennifer Lopez (Damn...you win, mamacita. Te amo.)

Jessica Alba (What we could've been, guhl...)

Sofia Vergara

Thandie Newton (still delish after all these years)

Halle Berry (...ditto.)

Eva Longoria

Carla Gugino (Curves. All. Day.)

Olivia Munn (Looking all classy...I see you, girl.)

Lea Michelle

Allison Williams (I love me some Allison Williams...)

Rosario Dawson

Kerry Washington

Amanda Seyfried

Monday Kickstart: Just Plane Dangerous

As if driving in Russia wasn't treacheroua enough, now motorists over there have planes coming at them. Watch the right side of the screen.




And now, for your New Year's inspiration, Ms. Sofia Vergara:

Every year should start off so MMMmm. Let's go.

Tail Report: 2012 Emmy Awards

Did you know these were held the other night? Apparently they decided to celebrate television's biggest stars and programs at the same time as one of the NFL's biggest matchups: Ravens vs Patriots. Think about this; the entertainment industry's foremost TV aficionados held their business' biggest event opposite a must-see, Sunday night NFL game. You couldn't find a worse scheduling choice. And we wonder how these idiots manage to bet against shows like Community while pumping out trodden trash like $#*! My Dad Says.

*sigh* And now a little eye candy to make it all better.

Kat Dennings
Well...damn.

Maria Menounos
I'm convinced she doesn't have a bad day. She probably rolls out of bed looking like this.

Sofia Vergara
Looking caliente, as per usual.

...Her hottest moment, though, came off the red carpet, when her booty split open her gown like Hulk Hogan going through a t-shirt. Ever the wifey-material lass, Sofia kindly tweeted the picture that the paparazzi couldn't catch themselves:

Love. Her.

In Case You Were Wondering...

...Sofia's still hurting 'em. I could've done a whole Emmy's red carpet post, but why bother? This is really all you need to know about it. Though Christina Hendricks earned an honorable mention.

Hottie Body Hump Club

Scarlett Jo, I love you. I'm not the biggest fan of Jessica Biel, but I'm sure those of you who are will enjoy this too.

A little old, but still good ish.

This Just In...

...Sofia Vergara is still wifey-rific. D-to-the-lish.

Tail Report: 2010 Emmy Awards

As usual, there was some tastiness on display on the red carpet last night.

Christina Hendricks (She might just be the hottest department store mannequin since Kim Cattrall.)




Eva La Rue (There's really only one reason that I kind of miss The Ex forcing me to watch "CSI Miami", and it ain't David Caruso.)




Olivia Munn (Wifey-level.)




Sofia Vergara (Although her wardrobe at the awards is nothing compared to what her wardrobe on Sunset is going to be because of the awards.)

An Emmy for her Golden Globes?

ABC's hit sitcom "Modern Family" won the Emmy last night for "Outstanding Comedy Series". And, normally, news like this would mean absolutely nothing.

Oh, but thanks to Sofia Vergara, it means a whole lot. Earlier this month, the Colombian bombshell pledged to power-walk naked down Sunset Boulevard if her show took home the award. Last night's victory now means that the pressure is on Sofia to keep her promise, and straight males from around the country will be camped out on Sunset.

I need a plane ticket and a folding chair. Yo Kev, I'm going, going, back, back, to Cali, Cali...

If She Wins, We Win

I've never watched ABC's hit sitcom "Modern Family". But don't take that to mean I think poorly of it; sometimes it just takes a little nudge to get me to start watching something, no matter how many people tell me it's the best thing on TV (that goes for your shows too, fans of "Rescue Me," "Mad Men," and "Sons of Anarchy"). And this might just be the nudge I need:

From MSN.com's Wonderwall:

Network bosses at ABC responded to the success of "Modern Family" by running a "for your consideration" ad in industry publication Variety, declaring that if the show beats "Glee," "Curb Your Enthusiasm," "Nurse Jackie," "The Office" and "30 Rock" to the Outstanding Comedy Series prize, [Sofia] Vergara will "run naked down Sunset Blvd."

The cheeky ad did include a disclaimer, stating, "Cast member may change without notice."

But Vergara admits she's keen to sway members of the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences to vote for her series, by rising to the challenge and baring all on the busy L.A. street.

She says, "You know what, that's ridiculous. I cannot run; I have bad knees. I was planning to do that, you know the sport where they... speed walk. But that's what I'm going to do. I'm not going to run."

Whether or not this gets me to watch "Modern Family" this fall, one thing's for sure: I'll be watching to see if it wins that Emmy.