Jurassic Office Park

I refuse to believe the chick didn't piss herself. I mean, there's no visual evidence—I checked. Thoroughly. But...

It's the Weekend (...For Me)

Time for a four-day weekend, bitches...

The homie Justin with the assist.

Throwback Thursday: "Stand Up" -- Ludacris ft. Shawnna

Somehow, Luda has been shut out of Throwback Thursday posts up until now. All I can do, homie, is offer my apologies. Hopefully posting this 2003 banger off of Chicken-n-Beer will help to atone.

Like last week, this is a video stocked with cameos. Can you spot Yeezy, Katt Williams, and Lauren London?

Sneak Attwerk

Dear Miley,

If you're gonna twerkbomb, THIS is how you twerkbomb.



FYI, I can't stop watching this. Damn, guhl...

Can't Get Right

Ladies, just because you're like, really, really, ridiculously good looking, doesn't mean you're ready for the pageant scene. Stage presence is counted, too.

There's always print modeling and being my trophy wife, though.

Monday Kickstart: Coming in Hot

Because, if you jump out of an airplane and make it back to Earth safely, you deserve a reward.



This was filmed in Arizona, which makes sense. It would take living in Arizona to make someone think up something this extreme just for sheer entertainment.

I think I'll stick to the more traditional, earthbound versions of Slip 'N Slide fun, especially if Sandra Ann is there:

Let's go.

F.O.H.: ESPN

They say ESPN manufactures headlines. They say ESPN is to reporting what Elvis was to soul music. Well..."they" may be onto something.

Yes, folks, that's an "industry leader" in journalism having a Buck Rogers makeover approved by a blogger.

#FuckOuttaHereESPN (and while we're at it, #FuckOuttaHereYahoo for reporting this garbage.)

F.O.H.: Mehow and the Babe

Is there a single part of this video that makes sense? This douchebag is a player? (Ok, a douchebag getting hot chicks does make sense in a it-happens-all-the-time-for-some-ungodly-reason kind of way. But that's typically handsome douchebags. This guy looks like a blonde burrito in hipster frames.) And this gorgeous chick is having a hard time getting guys? This douchebag calls himself "Mehow"?

Fuck outta here with this nonsense.

It's the Weekend

Time to be cold as ice...

Ball Don't Lie

I don't even play pick-up ball anymore, and I can recognize each of these.

Throwback Thursday: "Slow Jamz" -- Kanye West ft. Twista & Jamie Foxx

I almost forgot about this track. Another one of the bangers off Ye's debut album, The College Dropout. And, as an early sign of Ye's star power, the video is full of cameos, most impressively by Ms. Aisha Tyler.

Tail Report: KBO First-Pitch'ers

Here are three ceremonial first pitches thrown for the Doosan Bears of the KBO, a South Korean baseball league.

I may hate baseball, but I'm still in love.

F.O.H.: Mama Garber

My boy Tennessee with the assist on this one.

From Gawker:

"My mom dancing down the isle (sic) doin what she wants having fun and being her," is how Kendra Garber of Pekin, Illinois, described this YouTube video, which was shot on her mother's wedding day.

Garber somehow managed to leave out the part where the song her mom's dancing to is her own cover of a Buckcherry song inspired by Paris Hilton's sex tape.

Which is just as well, since no mere words could ever do this footage justice.

Do yourself a favor and read the Gawker story, which includes a rebuttle in the YouTube comments section by this classy gal. Favorite part? When she brags about being a 43-year-old grandmother.

I was laughing my ass off at all of this until I caught a sudden vision of my future. Then I just put my head down and sobbed. #Murica

Damn Brandy, Damn

Let me preface this by saying that I still love Brandy the person. As for Brandy the artist, well...I pump her stuff from the 90s all the time. And I still look back fondly upon the erotic dream about her I had my junior year of high school. But to say babygirl doesn't have the star power that she used to have is putting it mildly.

From E! News:

The R&B singer was the guest performer at FNB stadium in South Africa on Saturday for Mandela Sports and Culture Day—but she wasn't given the warmest welcome. The venue, which holds 90,000 people, was almost empty as soon as she hit the stage despite being filled with people throughout the day.

After the day's countless performers, and even a soccer game, most of the attendees had headed home just ahead of her performance.

"Brandy [just] performed to an empty stadium. With the stadium lights on," tweeted a shocked South African musician, Kabomo at the time.

"People didn't know there was a concert after the games. No one knew Brandy was around. Maybe a 40 people audience ... She sulked after two songs and walked off."

Brandy reportedly sang for a crowd "of no more than 40 people," and was even cut out of the televised broadcast of the event.

SABC, the country's national TV station, ended their coverage of the concert just before the "Boy is Mine" singer hit the stage.

2013 me is laughing so hard, tears are coming out. Those tears, though, are coming from 1998 me (...he was a bitch).

The Perfect Date

Life's all about perspective, folks.

I Can't...

*flatlines*

Balls to the Face

There's a lot of people employed by Fox that I'd like to see pummeled by a tight spiral. Unfortunately, Pam Oliver isn't one of them. She took it like a soldier, though.



Kobi from 93.9 KISSFM Raleigh with the assist.

Monday Kickstart: Chick Fight

Any Family Guy fan out there will love this. Two stunt women—Jessie Graff (Chicken) and Tree O'Toole (Peter)—have recreated the famous chicken fight scene from the show.



...Am I the only one who's a little turned on right now?

Speaking of which, time for your weekly motivation. I'm going with a personal favorite of mine, Miss Brenda Song:

Let's go.

Nowhere to Hide

Who takes the room service tray out into the hallway while they're buck naked? And who doesn't do the deadbolt trick to keep the door from shutting?

Well, this guy, I guess.

It's the Weekend

Time to heat it up...