Throwback Thursday: "Pleasure Principle" — Janet Jackson

If this beat doesn't make you move your feet, you are not a real person. This is my vote for the best Janet video ever. She was looking OH so good, and dances her ass off. (The chair move is hall-of-fame material.)

"Gimme a beat!"

Janet would be proud of this routine.



Are we going to talk about the fact that the 300 lb guy in football pads was hitting his marks better than any of the women who do this for a living? No? Okay then...

Monday Kickstart (Part 1): Whip 'Em into Shape

"Watch Me" has lowkey become the meme of the summer, as more and more videos of people doing the Whip come out. And, though the saturation point can't be too far away, we thankfully haven't hit it just yet. That means we can still enjoy the randomness and infectiousness of an Atlanta area chiropractic practice that decided to get in on the act.

Too Hype

Usually when a groom says he "knocked it out on his wedding night," he doesn't mean this. He almost never means this.



If you look closely, when she's on the floor the second time, you can see her realize she's made a terrible mistake.

Monday Kickstart: Never Too Old

This starts a little slow, but once they get down the basics, these seniors take off with it.



I hate dancing, as a general rule. I've never understood the need to dance at clubs, weddings, etc. You mean I got showered and dressed up only to get all sweaty from jumping around? Can't we just sit/stand here and get drunk instead?

The only time dancing is acceptable is when it's hilarious and/or adorable. So basically, if it's being done by little kids or by senior citizens. And that's it.

Of course, if this week's inspiration, Sheilinha, wants to dance around, I won't be mad about it.

Let's go.

Happy Cinco de Mayo

In the words of R. Kelly, it's time to fiesta, fiesta...

Mile High Funk

I guarantee you she's not a US Airways flight attendant. They're nowhere near as happy.

Monday Kickstart: Just Like Old Times

There's nothing like a warm welcome from an old friend.

From Tastefully Offensive:

In 2003 a Minnesota Timberwolves fan gained fame when he got kicked out of a game for his crazy shirtless dance moves (that earned him the nickname "Jiggly Boy"). Last week, the famous fan made a triumphant return when he brought back his signature moves to celebrate Kevin Garnett's return to the T-Wolves, who left the NBA team 7 years ago to play for the Boston Celtics.

It's like staring into Kevin James' future. Great work on getting the kids involved, though. Good to see they're not opposed to having some good old fashioned fun in Minnesota (I mean, it's winter, so it's probably like -90°F—they have to do SOMETHING to keep their spirits up).

This week, your inspiration comes in the eye-soothing form of Ms. Reyna Arriaga:

I guess warm welcomes from new friends ain't bad, either. Let's go.

Monday Kickstart: Superman that Flow

Our differences aren't as profound as some people out there want you to believe they are.

Post by 21:03.

I'm in tears every time I watch that shit. He killed every last bit of it. And even threw in the Carlton. Fucking done.

This week's inspiration is downright heroic. The world needs a hero, and Joanie Brosas is that hero:

I feel safer already. Let's go.

Oh Mia

Best way to get heard? Name a song after the hottest chick in porn, and then sit back as she YouTubes herself twerking to it. Mia doesn't have much booty, but she knows how to shake what she's got.

Daddy Gets Served

This is goddamn adorable. When this girl is a star in 20 years, remember watching this video.

From E! Online:

Usually people are challenged to a dance battle on the streets or in the club—and sometimes you're called out in your own living room. That's what happened to Sharidon Johnson, who was just trying to complete some chores around the house when he was faced with an unexpected dance battle challenge from none other than his daughter.

"Was pulling up the carpet and listening to old school hip hop...," he wrote with the YouTube clip. "My daughter comes up to me and says 'Dad lets Dance battle!' Let's do it!"

With mom behind the camera, Johnson and his little girl began going head-to-head to "Electric Relaxation (Relax Yourself Girl)" by A Tribe Called Quest.

Monday Kickstart: When the Beat Knocks...

Two surefire ways to start your week moving in the right direction: (1.) A cute toddler, and (2.) dubstep.

From Tastefully Offensive:

This cute 2-year-old boy named Tegan proves that you don't need years of experience to be an impressive dancer. Watch and prepare to be stunned as he slowly works up to some epic dance moves around the one-minute mark in this adorably awesome parking lot routine set to a dubstep remix of Flight Facilities' "Crave You".

Since it's Monday morning, I'll put aside the argument that I'm sure many will raise regarding the legitimacy of this being considered "dancing," and revel in the video's sheer cuteness. This feels like the sequel to Chappelle's white-people-can-dance skit. I half expected to hear him come in from off-camera with a "John, drop the—DROP THE BASSLINE!"

This week's inspiration is a lovely lass by the name of Caitlin Rice. What makes her so inspiring, you ask?

Happy #humpday! Threw some new variations into my leg day. Killerrrrr sore glutes 👌

A photo posted by 🎀Caitlin R.🎀 (@caitlinricefit) on Aug 8, 2014 at 2:34pm PDT

It has you like...yup. Let's go.

Monday Kickstart: War Eagle Hammertime

I'm about 12 hours late getting you kickstarted this week. All I can do is beg your forgiveness, and give you this fantastic video of the head coach of my beloved Auburn University football team getting it.

'

War damn Eagle, Gus. War damn Eagle.

And if you're looking for some inspiration to get you moving like Gus and his awesome footwork, how about the thought of some pooltime with Ms. Larissa Bartolo:

Let's go.

Tuesday Kickstart: Those Who Can't, Twerk

I should probably start this post by warning you not to go any further if you've been feeling a tad suicidal lately.

From Playboy:

Teaching is a noble profession. Without teachers, how would people learn the necessary skills to get through life? Likewise, twerking also provides a valuable service to the community. How else would young men satisfy their badonkadonk cravings?

Jessica Vanessa decided we had too many of the former and not enough of the latter so the Florida schoolteacher left her job to twerk professionally. That might sound stupid, but it's not. Advertisers pay her six figures to create bootylicious videos for her more the 2 million Vine followers. And if the twerking trend eventually dies down, she can go back to teaching where young men will continue admiring her rear end while she's writing on chalkboards.

This is all so confusing to me. Every fiber of my admittedly-cynical being wants to clown the hell out of this woman for being a "professional twerker," but...she's making more than twice my yearly salary by doing it. Really, it's not even right for me to post this as a Kickstart. Who feels any kind of motivation to attack the workweek now that they know shaking their ass on the internet pays better? A lot better. *sigh*

Hell, now I'm not even sure that a certified stunner like Yesenia Bustillo could help cheer me up:

...okay, she can. She definitely can. Let's go.

It's the Weekend

Time to let it fly...

Monday Kickstart: Got that Fever

It's Monday morning. I hate everything, too. But when faced with these circumstances, there's really only one thing to do: watch a video of a little kid owning the dance floor at a wedding.



Here's hoping we all attack the week like that kid attacks the beat.

And if you need something a little stronger in the motivation department, maybe Valeria Orsini can help:

Let's go.

No Chill

Turnt. The. Fuck. UP.

Monday Kickstart: Age Ain't Nothing But a Number

It's another Monday. It's hotter than hell outside, you're stuck inside, and the summer's already more than halfway over. When life throws its shit at you, all you can do is say "Fuck it" and dance.

Post by Stanton Warriors.

I hope I'm half as lively when I'm his age. Hell, I hope I'm half as lively tomorrow. It's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day negatives in the world. But when that happens, try this: stop, take a deep breath, and walk forward. Or dance forward. Just don't retreat.

And if you need a little extra help with feeling young and energized, try Bex Robertson and her great selfies:

Irish eyes—and everything else—are definitely smiling. Let's go.

The World Is His

"If you had, one shot..."

Chocolate Deluxe

Swear to god, when she get low, the world stops.