Tail Report: 2010 MTV Video Music Awards

Pictures from last night's "white carpet".

Ashley Greene (Apparently she's an actress, or something? Who cares. Thighs and eyes, thighs and eyes. They'll get you every time.)




Rosario Dawson (Don't know where she's been lately, but she needs to come home. Call me, RoRo.)





Katy Perry (Yep...still hate Russell Brand.)





Audrina Patridge (Of course she was there. This is all she does, after all. Only in America can fame make the job, instead of the job making you famous. Audrina's got a sort of a young Sheryl Crow thing going on here. Maybe take some time away from the sun, shorty.)





Ke$ha (Nice to see something on her face other than...ummm...yeaaaahhhh...)

Tail Report: Celebs in Bikinis

It's Labor Day weekend, and sadly that means that summer is over. Therefore, I offer the following series of pictures as an ode to the long, hot days that came and went way too quickly.

Summer 2010, I barely knew thee.


Demi Moore

Yes, Mrs. Kutcher is 47. But, as seen in the pictures below (which she posted to her Twitter account), and in a video taken at a Snoop Dogg concert earlier this week, she and her body refuse to act their age.

Thank god.




Kim Kardashian

Yup. If Miles Austin doesn't have a good season in 2010, I can't say that I blame him. It's hard to imagine how he's staying focused on football.




Rima Fakih

The reigning Miss America is delish. This picture alone should be reason enough to let Muslims build a mosque near Ground Zero.




Olivia Wilde

Between her and Munn, stock in the name "Olivia" is skyrocketing.




Irina Shayk & Jessica White

Just doin what models do...




Adrianne Curry

She's barely even a reality TV star anymore. She has officially made being hot her career. She's okay with that, and so am I.




Cheryl Burke

"Dancing with the Stars"? Terrible. Dancing with Cheryl? Yes, please.




Audrina Patridge

This is really all she's good at, but she's really good at all of it.

Tail Report: 2010 MTV Movie Awards Red Carpet

This is more of an obligatory post than you'll usually find when it comes to "Tail Reports". Flipping through the red carpet photos from last night, there really didn't seem to be much to make the ol' mouth water. Each of these ladies has looked hotter at other times, in my opinion, but oh well.

Katy Perry (Her legs and see-through dress earned her the mention. I have to give Russell credit—she's a thoroughbred. And if she really is into kissing girls, then...I fully understand wifing her.)

Vanessa Hudgens (Always delish)

Scarlett Johansson (Looking like every other attractive blonde chick...ever.)

Lindsay Lohan (Also looking like every other attractive blonde; the difference, of course, being that looking like an attractive blonde has become a rarity for Lindsay these days.)

Eva Mendes (You're welcome, TJ.)

Aubrey Plaza (A personal favorite of mine; the highly underrated talent—in every sense of that word—from "Parks and Recreation".)

Chelsea Korka (Am I showing my age by not having the slightest clue who she is? Wikipedia says she's "a member of Pussycat Dolls' European spin-off group The Paradiso Girls." *shrug* Whatever—shorty got some vicious thighs.)

Audrina Patridge (Looking like the Tin Man's slutty daughter.)

Tail Report: Audrina Patridge

I, like every other straight male over the age of 15, have never watched "The Hills" or whatever other show Miss Patridge has appeared on. But, that doesn't mean I'm not a fan. Here are a couple of hot pictures from her new photo shoot with FHM (more available at the link).