Tail Report: Celebs in Bikinis

It's Labor Day weekend, and sadly that means that summer is over. Therefore, I offer the following series of pictures as an ode to the long, hot days that came and went way too quickly.

Summer 2010, I barely knew thee.


Demi Moore

Yes, Mrs. Kutcher is 47. But, as seen in the pictures below (which she posted to her Twitter account), and in a video taken at a Snoop Dogg concert earlier this week, she and her body refuse to act their age.

Thank god.




Kim Kardashian

Yup. If Miles Austin doesn't have a good season in 2010, I can't say that I blame him. It's hard to imagine how he's staying focused on football.




Rima Fakih

The reigning Miss America is delish. This picture alone should be reason enough to let Muslims build a mosque near Ground Zero.




Olivia Wilde

Between her and Munn, stock in the name "Olivia" is skyrocketing.




Irina Shayk & Jessica White

Just doin what models do...




Adrianne Curry

She's barely even a reality TV star anymore. She has officially made being hot her career. She's okay with that, and so am I.




Cheryl Burke

"Dancing with the Stars"? Terrible. Dancing with Cheryl? Yes, please.




Audrina Patridge

This is really all she's good at, but she's really good at all of it.

Tail Report: Ladies of the Golden Globes

Just a sampling of the red carpet eye candy from last night's awards ceremony.

Halle (yessir!)


Jen Aniston


Olivia Wilde


Kristen Bell


Mariah


Vanessa Minnillo (She's still a celebrity??)

Maxim's Hot 100 List Announced

The 2009 edition of Maxim's "Hot 100" has been released, and sitting atop it is a new face: Miss Olivia Wilde. While I don't protest the selection, I don't necessarily agree with it either. Olivia's pretty, and certainly wouldn't get the cold shoulder from me at a bar if I was a single man. But hottest in the world? Eh. And then there's the opinion of my friend TD (who is a girl; and, surprisingly, a straight one):

"I was upset to see 'our' girl [Megan Fox, who finished no. 2 in voting] did not make #1…. But then I saw who did and I am very pleased. She used to be on The OC when I watched it back in the day…. I always thought this girl was SEXY SEXY!"

Maxim's thoughts on the top 5 (as found on Yahoo's "omg! news"):

1. Olivia Wilde: "We may not know a McDreamy from a McNugget, but when it comes to TV doctors, there is only one who makes our body temperatures rise. We were drooling over the NYC native long before she was injected into Fox's hit medical drama (House)."

2. Megan Fox: "Seriously, do women get more painfully hot than this? Megan Fox has the face of an angel, a body so perfect that God may have carved it out of soap and sex appeal that could melt a unicorn's horn. Plus, we hear she smells like clouds."

3. Bar Refaeli: "If there's any evidence that the Middle East is a land of beauty and wonder Bar is it. The 24-year-old Israeli supermodel with the brain blowing body scorched the cover of the famed Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition."

4. Malin Akerman: "In the dark world of Watchmen, Malin was tasked with one tough mission ... Watchmen wasn't the first time we've seen Malin and it won't be the last. She's got four new flicks on her busy schedule."

5. Mila Kunis: "Mila's combination of exotic beauty and gal-next-door charm would make any sane man forget his ex in three seconds flat."

Also, for the first time in history, the worlds of politics and sophomoric-men's-magazines have collided, as First Lady Michelle Obama clocked in at no. 93. "He may be dealing with two wars, an economic meltdown, and a rapidly graying dome, but at least our Commander in Chief gets to come home to the hottest First Lady in the history of these United States. (Sorry, Martha Washington!)" Nice to see Michelle getting some love.

The full list can be found here.