Monday Kickstart: $ave Dat Money

After a weekend of debauchery (...if your weekend didn't involve any debauchery, you've done something wrong), we can all appreciate this ode to frugality by internet star Lil Dicky.



The amount of hustle it took to put together this video is insane. To get the private homeowner to let them use her place was impressive enough (and kudos to her for asking that, in return, donations be made to Planned Parenthood), but to get a Lamborghini dealer to let you take an Aventador out on the road for free? Dicky got game.

Throwback Thursday: "Gin and Juice" — Snoop Dogg

One of those rare cases where a song was popular long before it was ever released as a single. An instant classic, people were bumping this the second Doggystyle got released.

...But Where Is The Outrage?

Zach Hammond, 19 years old, was fatally shot and killed by the police, seemingly over 10 grams of weed.

The police playbook has been opened and in full effect. Blah blah I was in danger, he tried to ram me with his car blah blah blah.

Now I am not making light of this situation. A young man lost his life under iffy circumstances at best and it appears he was a victim of excessive force and the engine of defense that more often times than not leaves police officers unaccountable for their actions is tuned up and going strong.

What is pissing me off here is his parents injecting race into the conversation because, minor detail, Zach is white. His parents are upset at the lack of a national outcry about their sons death (which they should be) but it's directed at the wrong people.

“It’s sad, but I think the reason is, unfortunately, the media and our government officials have treated the death of an unarmed white teenager differently than they would have if this were a death of an unarmed black teen,” Bland told The Washington Post this week. “The hypocrisy that has been shown toward this is really disconcerting.”

So lets read the coded language and general misunderstanding of reality involved in this statement.

By media do you mean the same media that couldn't wait to find the most unflattering pictures of victims as possible, de-humanizing them. How can you find sympathy for criminals? So Trayvon Martin was a thug who needed no sympathy to the point where people, through social media, attributed a picture of the rapper The Game as Trayvon.

Or the same media that couldn't wait to remind you Eric Garner sold loose cigarettes.

Or that Walter Scott owed back child support and how many time he was arrested.

Or that Michael Brown was a weed fueled animal who strong arm robbed a convenience store, tried to steal a cops gun and then charged after the cop after being shot.

"At this point it looked like he was almost bulking up to run through the shots, like it was making him mad that I’m shooting at him. And the face that he had was looking straight through me, like I wasn’t even there, I wasn’t even anything in his way."

- Darren Wilson's Grand Jury Testimoney

Or the family life of Tamir Rice.

Miss me with that.

And lets be 100 here when you say "government officials" you mean Good Ol President Darkie.

So what I think is going on here is that the question he really wants to ask but wont is where is all the outrage from BLACK PEOPLE. Why aren't the BLACK PEOPLE marching for his son?

To this I say you are asking the wrong damn people.

Where is the outrage from WHITE PEOPLE? Where are all the #AllLivesMatter hashtaggers?

First of all, do your own damn work. Since when is it my responsibility to convince you and others that there is a problem with excessive force in this country and the voracity in which officers are protected when they commit these acts only emboldens them as they fear no repercussions. They believe can plant evidence (see Walter Scott), lie in their official accounts of events (see Tamir Rice and John Crawford) or not even bother to identify themselves as police officers (see Steve Blake) and will not be held accountable

I can't even convince people that racial prejudices can and do sneak into police interactions with people (which is why in New York People of Color are subjected to Stop and Frisk far more often then whites though whites are found to be in possession of contraband far more (by percentage of total and total amount) than People of Color.

Whites Are Almost Twice As Likely To Be Found With A Weapon

The NYPD and politicians have repeatedly justified the racial disparity in stop and frisks saying that they cops essentially go where the guns are, i.e. minority neighborhoods. Yet, only 1.9 percent of frisks in 2011 turned up weapons and interestingly, according to the NYCLU, "a weapon was found in only 1.8 percent of blacks and Latinos frisked, as compared to a weapon being found in 3.8 percent of whites frisked."

I can get people to admit to me "when I see someone driving erratically I presume they are Asian" but somehow that same logic and "racial transference" is impossible with police officers.

If you want justice for your son then challenge your fellow white people to confront their own assertions about the police. To admit there is an issue. Form protests, speak out. Don't just blame the shit on black people.

To ask where is all the black outrage is to ask the wrong questions to the wrong people. Question white people.

Ask them how they can be so supportive of police when (pick a darkie any darkie's) situation is the same as their sons. Why does their son have to go through the same slander and dehumanizing that  (pick a darkie any darkie) did? How can you say #AllLivesMatter in response to #BlackLivesMatters but not speak out for their son?

But asking these question are problematic because those people wont respond. They cant because:

1. Having to all of a sudden backslide on the unwavering consistent support of police (#BlueLivesMatter) when white people are victims exposes their own inert or intentional racism because there is no bend, no wavering when the victim is black even though the situation is damn near identical.

2. That racism skirt is pulled up and they are exposed because there was no outrage from them when black victims are in the same situations as this young man (Hammond’s).

Or maybe white people can admit this is different. Though the circumstances are the same the vibe is different. This feels like an aberration and not the norm. There wont be screaming #AllLivesMatter or #BlueLivesMatter at his funeral. There will be no memes suggesting because he was a criminal (and he was) he deserved to die. There wont be GoFundMe accounts created to help with the officer's "legal defense"

To do so would be in poor taste and would be vile. Funny how that applies to some people and to others it does not.

Where is the outrage?

Ask a white person and see what they say...Everything I've read about it in social media has been from people of color.

Instead of blaming them maybe you should start realizing that maybe those crazy #BlackLivesMatter people have a point. Maybe instead of assuming #BlackLivesMatter really means ONLY #BlackLivesMatter you listen to what people are saying and have been saying

He added: “The issue should never be what is the color of  the victim. The issue should be: Why was an unarmed teen gunned down in a situation where deadly force was not even justified?”

It should when it disproportionately happens to one section of people over another but I digress.

We've been saying the same thing you are just too busy blaming President Darkie and the rest of us People of Color to see that I want, WE want race to not play a part in any of it. To be treated as a human being. As an equal. I dont want to be judged by my pants or my minor offenses or how I speak or how uncomfortable I make you because of your own issues and prejudice.

Matter of fact let me know when you get rid of this shit, and then maybe then you can be outraged and blame all of us, including President Darkie.

Dont worry, I'll wait...

Equal Opportunity

I love L.A. It's my homeland, and the sun and relaxed atmosphere give me the warm and fuzzies when I think about them. But, perhaps more than anywhere else, image is everything in that town. And that's true for all sexes.

And, while we're at it, I love Ali. She's a Pittsburgh girl that knows how to have fun. But if I had to choose between getting into a regular car with her and a Lambo with Stevie? Well...

Monday Kickstart: Inspiration

Let the lovely Natalie Loren give you reason to get on your grind this week.

Let's go.

Monday Kickstart: Honest Beginnings

I don't date anymore, and watching this was a both painful and vindicating reminder of why.

Duck!

It's amazing how many plot twists you can pack into six seconds.

Throwback Thursday: "Tommy's Theme" — Made Men ft. The LOX

This track was so hot, but didn't get a lot of widespread love. It appeared on the Belly soundtrack, and was consistently banging in my dorm room.

Add Made Men to the long and distinguished list of acts with a ton of promise that never got anywhere. Closest they ever came to fame after this video was Benzino's short time in the spotlight for beefing with Eminem.

Tuesday Kickstart (Part 2): Inspiration

Let Chandler South remind you just why everyone says redheads are dangerous.

Tuesday Kickstart (Part 1): Off to Never Never Land

It's Tuesday, but for most of us it's "Monday"—the first day of work after Labor Day Weekend. And if your weekend was as full of beer, bikinis, shots, fantasy football drafts, beer pong, pizza, and water gun battles as mine was, then you need a pug playing Metallica's "Enter Sandman" right about now.



Let's go.

First Time's a Charm

Admittedly, when I first saw Playboy tweet this video, I expected the tales to be a lot more "blah" than they were. Porn is pretty mainstream these days, and—in the world in general—it's hard to find anything that genuinely gets your attention these days. But a lot of these are pretty good.

From Playboy:

Curious about what it was like for adult film stars during their first experience on camera? Watch adult film stars Kayden Kross, Veronica Rose, Misty Stone, Anikka Albrite, Keiran Lee, Alexis Texas, Amber Ivy, Tori Black, Teagan Presley, Missy Martinez and Joanna Angel at AVN talk to Lisa Ann about what their first times were really like.

Throwback Thursday: "What They Do" — The Roots

Just because it's a throwback, doesn't mean it can't teach you a valuable lesson. Black Thought and his crew dropped gems on this 1996 track, that felt like knowledge being slapped upside your head with every thump of the bassline.

Respect My Gangsta: Robert Wright

Mr. Wright, you are my new hero. To you I pledge my undying loyalty, and vow that I will always make sure them ribs is right.

Keep It One Hunnit

I know this struggle.

Don't be ashamed of your music taste hahah 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/MEWRLxqKSb

— IGZ (@igzrap) September 1, 2015

Monday Kickstart (Part 2): Inspiration

Let Australian beauty Jessica Ann remind you why you're back on your grind this morning.

Monday Kickstart (Part 1): Start Spreading the News

This makes my balls hurt, but I'm sharing it anyways.

From Tastefully Offensive:

Logan Paul takes manspreading to a whole knew level in this funny compilation of the Vine star randomly doing splits at various locations around New York City.

I'm not sure there's much more to add here.

George Zimmerman Can Go Fuck Himself and Fall Into The Sea

‘We all know how 

it ended for the last

moron that hit me’

This was a quote from Zimmerman's latest racist twitter rant.

I'm all for free speech and though I believe him to be morally wrong, legally, the right decision was made to not convict him.

BUT THIS FUCK BOY HAS GOT TO GO! If this isn't one of the rudest heartless and soulless things that has ever come out of a human beings mouth.

YOU KILLED A CHILD BECAUSE YOU DID NOT HAVE THE TESTICULAR FORTITUDE TO KICK THE KIDS ASS YOU PICKED A FIGHT WITH!

Think about this for a moment. You picked a fight with a child, he laid them fucking paws on you and you shot him because "I feared for my life". 

Fuck you, fuck the people who help you, fuck the people who buy your racist paintings, fuck the people who follow him on twitter both because they feel like he says the truth and ironically, fuck the gun shows you were a celebrity at, fuck the person who take pictures of you, fuck the females you beat on that haven't pressed charges and sent ya smug lil shit face to jail. Fuck anyone who currently has his autograph. Fuck the NRA for half ass supporting him. Fuck all of you equally and specifically!

When he dies I hope they put a port-a-potty over his grave so we can all take a massive asparagus and amoxicillin piss on it. 

He is quite literally one of the most vile people in existence in the entirety of the UNIVERSE.

There is literally a Commander Zorp Zorp on Epsilon Zeta Five, in a war room with the intergalactic council, discussing if they should end life on earth with someone at the ready to press the button to end destroy us all  and this fuck will be the guy that causes it all.

Soulless fuck I truly hope someone shits in his mouth and slaps him with antifreeze.

I don't think I have the vocabulary to describe how loathsome of a human being he is.

FUCK YOU!

#BLM

Throwback Thursday: "Guilty Conscience" — Eminem ft. Dr. Dre

...I'm not playing this because the Dee Barnes/NWA beef resurfaced with the release of Straight Outta Compton. I swear. Nope. *looks at Dre* *coughs* Nope.

*backs away slowly*

Ten Things I Think That I Think

1. I think: Men who leave pubic hair in the urinal should be drawn quartered and shot! I assume you NEVER have had a woman's mouth anywhere near your cock and or balls because no self-respecting woman would EVER take the risk of choking on that Don Cornelius from the 70s things you got going on around dick space. I go to the bathroom to piss not to have to dual use the aforementioned pee to free your unwanted gifts from the urinal. TRIM THAT SHIT UP B!

2. I think: If I say "Black Lives Matter" and you respond with anything other than "what can I do to help?" Fuck you specifically. If someone has a benefit for Breast Cancer Awareness no one kicks in the fucking door and goes "ALL CANCERS MATTER, DON'T FORGET ABOUT TOE CANCER!!!"
That particular benefit was for a specific cause and because it is for that specific cause that doesn't mean nothing else matter you insouciant dick bag.

3. I think: If you support Donald Trump I'm automatically going to assume you either are sexist, racist or a twit. Either way please take several seats in the back.

4.I think: I have no idea what to do with my half black one fourth white and one fourth Mexican son's head. The swirls is mysterious in what traits you get. I'm waiting on this dude's hair to grow into something.

5. I think: If I say good morning to you and you don't say it back I immediately day dream about punching you in your rude ass mouth. Get some home training.

6. I think: Every time I see someone at some children's party, dressed up as a cartoon character twerking, a small part of me dies.

7. I think: Dr. Dre's new album IS A CLASSIC! No if ands or buts about it. If you disagree I question your taste in music. People say it's got too much trap music influence and to that I say...WTF are you listening? People complain and say the mix is too bright...WTF have you been listening to? His mixes have been like that since Chronic 2001 unless he wanted it dirty on purpose (see I Need A Doctor). People complain it's not like Chronic 2001. That shit came out 15 years ago...what he look like trying to rap like he's still 30 or something.

8. I think: Titties > Ass but only because I'm short and I can look em right in the eye.

9.I think: I'm a bit odd because I have a page on Tinder. Not because I'm looking for a hookup (a picture of my wife, my son chucking up the deuces and me is my profile picture and I explicitly state I'm not looking for a hookup) but because I like judging people.

10. I think: Jay Cutler has resting jerkface and because of that douche face no one will ever like him. He could throw 50 touchdowns, -2 interceptions AND vaccinate his fucking kids AND most people that are fans or apart of the NFL would be like "FUCK THAT GUY" I feel bad for the dude and his jerkface

Monday Kickstart (Part 2): Inspiration

Mondays suck. But if it comes with a side of Argentinian beauty Maria Celeste Sablich, Monday will be your new favorite day of the week.