Ten Things I Think That I Think

1. I think: Men who leave pubic hair in the urinal should be drawn quartered and shot! I assume you NEVER have had a woman's mouth anywhere near your cock and or balls because no self-respecting woman would EVER take the risk of choking on that Don Cornelius from the 70s things you got going on around dick space. I go to the bathroom to piss not to have to dual use the aforementioned pee to free your unwanted gifts from the urinal. TRIM THAT SHIT UP B!

2. I think: If I say "Black Lives Matter" and you respond with anything other than "what can I do to help?" Fuck you specifically. If someone has a benefit for Breast Cancer Awareness no one kicks in the fucking door and goes "ALL CANCERS MATTER, DON'T FORGET ABOUT TOE CANCER!!!"
That particular benefit was for a specific cause and because it is for that specific cause that doesn't mean nothing else matter you insouciant dick bag.

3. I think: If you support Donald Trump I'm automatically going to assume you either are sexist, racist or a twit. Either way please take several seats in the back.

4.I think: I have no idea what to do with my half black one fourth white and one fourth Mexican son's head. The swirls is mysterious in what traits you get. I'm waiting on this dude's hair to grow into something.

5. I think: If I say good morning to you and you don't say it back I immediately day dream about punching you in your rude ass mouth. Get some home training.

6. I think: Every time I see someone at some children's party, dressed up as a cartoon character twerking, a small part of me dies.

7. I think: Dr. Dre's new album IS A CLASSIC! No if ands or buts about it. If you disagree I question your taste in music. People say it's got too much trap music influence and to that I say...WTF are you listening? People complain and say the mix is too bright...WTF have you been listening to? His mixes have been like that since Chronic 2001 unless he wanted it dirty on purpose (see I Need A Doctor). People complain it's not like Chronic 2001. That shit came out 15 years ago...what he look like trying to rap like he's still 30 or something.

8. I think: Titties > Ass but only because I'm short and I can look em right in the eye.

9.I think: I'm a bit odd because I have a page on Tinder. Not because I'm looking for a hookup (a picture of my wife, my son chucking up the deuces and me is my profile picture and I explicitly state I'm not looking for a hookup) but because I like judging people.

10. I think: Jay Cutler has resting jerkface and because of that douche face no one will ever like him. He could throw 50 touchdowns, -2 interceptions AND vaccinate his fucking kids AND most people that are fans or apart of the NFL would be like "FUCK THAT GUY" I feel bad for the dude and his jerkface