Jay Sean Mixtape Sneak Peek (ft. Jessica Burciaga)

If you're a Jay Sean fan...good for you. Myself, I'm much more a fan of Jessica Burciaga's impressive body...of work.

In the end, we both win.

Tail Report: Tatum Miranda

Those eyes...pretty eyes are always my downfall.

Miss Miranda is, according to her Twitter profile, an "international bikini model and recording artist". I don't know about all of that, but what I do know is she is a scorching hot beauty. The photos below are just a sample of what you can find in the galleries at her official webpage.

I think I'm in love.

Booty Music

From Lyndsey Parker at Reality Rocks:

You've probably tried to block it from your mind, but you may remember with a shudder that back in March of this year, Kim Kardashian attempted to follow in the Manolo-shod footsteps of fellow reality-TV starlets Paris Hilton and Heidi Montag and launch a pop "singing" career. The resulting single, "Jam (Turn It Up)," was so awful, it made Heidi sound like Adele. The song became of the butt of jokes (pun intended) by critics and tweeters alike, and Kim swiftly went about getting engaged and orchestrating a grand tabloid wedding to make us forget all about the disaster.

Ouch. Lyndsey must've gotten cut off on the highway this morning by someone driving a car with a license plate that read "KIM", because she just went for the jugular in this post.

Anyways, here is the clip from Kim K.'s video. With sound turned up, the needle tilts to the right on the "Laughable/Painful" scale. With the sound turned off (highly recommended, at least for repeat viewings), it's Kim at her best—in other words, it's a "Tail Report".

Up in Smoke

This is... I mean...

From The Huffington Post:

In a new video for VladTV, members of the reunited group addressed the rumors that long persisted that the rapper, who was in 1996, had rolled up his ashes and smoked it.

"Yeah, it's definitely true. I think it was the night of, we had a little memorial for him, with his mom, his family and s*it," Young Noble said. "And we hit the beach, do a lot of s*it he liked on the beach. Some weed, some chicken wings, he loved orange soda and all that kind of s*it. Pac loved that kind of s*it, so we were giving him our own farewell that night. That night, I forget which one of us came up with that s*it."

"I came up with that s*it, if you listen to 'Black Jesus' he says last wishes, n*ggas smoke my ashes, so that was a request that he had. Now whether how serious he was about it, we took the s*it serious," E.D.I. added in.

"I forgot which one of us came up with it, like we need to go and do that, but we twisted up some of that great grandaddy California kush and mixed the big homie with it," Young Noble added.

As spiritual as Pac was, I can't help but wonder how this fits in with his feelings about last rites and a "proper" burial.

Tail Report: 2011 MTV Video Music Awards

I almost feel obligated to put up these posts whenever there's a popular awards show on, no matter how slim the pickings are among the photo galleries I find. Maybe I'll update this post if I come across some new ones tomorrow.

...Maybe I'll give a fuck.

Kelly Rowland
I've always felt she was slightly underrated.

Kim Kardashian
Newly betrothed to the NBA's version of Lenny from "Of Mice and Men"...god I hope I'm one of the first guys she cheats on him with.

Katy Perry
Seen here with the world's luckiest C-list actor. I like Russell, I really do. If I ever met him, I'd probably throw a stiff right cross, then pick him up off the ground and hand him a beer.

Demi Lovato
Seen here with Selena Gomez (Demi's on the left...I'm 75% certain). I had to check Wikipedia before I felt safe in appreciating this picture of her (she turned 18 last year, so it's cool fellas).

Maria Menounos
It's been a while since I've seen a halfway decent picture of Maria. I'm not entirely sure why that is. From what I can see here, she hasn't exactly fallen off. Maybe she's just stayed out of the spotlight a little. (Yeah, right...)

It's Friday

Time to love thy neighbor...

Respect My Gangsta: Tandon Doss

Earlier this morning I spotted his name while doing some fantasy football research. My only inclination was to laugh at the name "Tandon". Well, I'm laughing no more, Mr. Doss. ...Sir.

From Shutdown Corner:

On the football field, Baltimore Ravens rookie Tandon Doss(notes) provides offense. When he's chilling at Five Guys, though, he's all about defense.

Before Thursday night's Ravens/Redskins game, Doss happened to see a fight at a Five Guys restaurant in Baltimore's Inner Harbor. He wasn't having it. Despite the fact that one guy had a knife, Doss intervened and broke up the fight.

Doss tweeted about the event after it happened. As you might imagine in today's apathetic society, he received some disapproval from followers who felt he had taken an unnecessary risk. His response? "Idc wat day it is I'm not gunna sit there and let someone get jumped idk where ur from but we don't do that in Indy. Ur #weaksauce". Never question a gangsta.

And then, after all of the heroism, you have this:

Doss went on to catch two passes for 28 yards Thursday night, and is one of two rookie wide receivers battling for playing time with the Ravens. If you want to judge them by their off-the-field behavior, Doss breaks up knife fights in Baltimore. Torrey Smith runs like hell when the earth shakes.

The ironic ownage of Torrey Smith is just a delicious cherry on top. Doss stepping up to exibit such unselfish bravery in defense of a stranger, without a second thought towards his own safety, is spectacular. We're constantly fed the (in my opinion overhyped) stereotype of the "diva" NFL wide receiver. Mr. Doss, more than likely, would consider that characterization to be "#weaksauce".

Tail Report: Simone Annan

Simone is an Australian pop singer and model looking to take her talents to other parts of the globe. Hopefully that includes my neck of the woods. Very, very soon.

Green Acres

This is insane. That huge patch of black in the picture above? Those are rows upon rows upon rows of Mary Jane plants. The pictures below give a little more perspective of the sheer size of this illegal marijuana farm, found south of Tiajuana, Mexico. If you dropped some napalm on that from the chopper, glaucoma would be wiped out in all of North America.

Reports of a giant Funyun farm down the road have not been substantiated.

Ballin' in Outerspace

You think, somewhere out there, there's an intergallactic episode of "Cribs" where some jackass alien musician is saying, "You wanna be a real balla, son? You get you a diamond PLANET!"

From The Huffington Post:

Scientists say the planet exists about 4,000 light years away from Earth, and is probably the remnants of a once-large dead star, Reuters reports. (Scroll down for video.)

"The evolutionary history and amazing density of the planet all suggest it is comprised of carbon," Matthew Bailes of the University of Technology in Melbourne told Reuters. He calls it "a massive diamond orbiting a neutron star every two hours in an orbit so tight it would fit inside our own Sun."

This sounds like something out of Futurama. And I feel bad for any guy in the market for an engagement ring. Once your lady gets wind of this, nothing less than a planet-sized rock will be good enough.

Throwback Thursday: "When I Think of You" -- Janet Jackson

Yeah, I'm keeping it light this week. Don't act like Janet never made you shake your ass. "Pleasure Principle" is probably my favorite video of hers, though; but that's not so much for the song (though it's good) as for watching her do her thing in those tight jeans... *cough* Uh...yeah.

I can't lie though; I've always dug this video. It's such an over-the-top production, but somehow it never gets overbearing. And that hair? Damn, Miss Jackson.

Auto Eroticism: Bentley Continental GTC

Soon to be appearing in NFL player parking lots and MTV videos.

From Life + Times:

Here, Life+Times has front-of-the-line access to images of the Continental GTC convertible, showcasing a bold new design, featuring advanced production technology, a hand-crafted cabin with class-leading infotainment, and a 6.0-litre w12 engine with Flexfuel capability. Welcome to the revolutionary four-seater convertible. Enjoy the ride.

Video: Kendrick Lamar -- "ADHD"

Spotted on Life + Times. In the words of the video's director, Va$htie:

I wanted the video to illustrate the emotion he paints with words, while avoiding gratuitous shots of any substance. Despite the song’s title and content, the focus isn’t the drugs, but rather, that basic human experience of apathetic youth. That simple mood of emptiness which we choose to either address or self-medicate.

City of Dreams

When I was a kid, I spent a lot of time building small cities out of Legos and other toys, racing Hot Wheels and Matchbox cars through the plastic brick and mortar canyons of modern civilization's cleansed and simplified essence. And though I eventually grew out of the activity of playing with these constructs of urban utopia, my mind has never lost its fascination with them. Neither, it seems, has Chris Burden's.

A sculpter of modern art, Burden has created a masterpiece sure to capture the mind of the child inside each of us. And his work is made even more impressive around the 4:40 mark, where the full scale of "Metropolis" is finally brought into perspective.

Believing Ain't Seeing

From the strange, strange world of James Franco.

Last month, the increasingly bizzare man-of-the-moment James Franco announced his involvement in a new large-scale art project with the conceptual art duo Praxis (Brainard and Delia Carey). Not necessarily a shocking move, but Franco’s venture gets better—the art is “non-visible.”

...Franco and Praxis also warn that, “When you contribute to this Kickstarter project, you are not buying a visible piece of art!” Yes, after contributing real money, buyers will not receive any tangible piece of art and will instead by presented with a written description of their purchase.

With prices ranging from $1000 to $10,000, you might ask yourself, “who would actually willingly donate money for pretty much nothing?”

Answer: Montreal web producer, social media marketer, model and actor Aimee Davison.

So you're telling me that Franco just got paid $10,000 (or, perhaps $3,333.33 if divided equally) for something that doesn't exist? W...t...f? How can I get in on this?

And what did Davison get for her $10,000? A piece called "Fresh Air":

A unique piece, only this one is for sale. The air you are purchasing is like buying an endless tank of oxygen. No matter where you are, you always have the ability to take a breath of the most delicious, clean-smelling air that the earth can produce. Every breath you take gives you endless peace and health. This artwork is something to carry with you if you own it. Because wherever you are, you can imagine yourself getting the most beautiful taste of air that is from the mountain tops or fields or from the ocean side; it is an endless supply.

Riiiiggghhhhtttttt...

(TJ with the assist)

Tail Report: Cele-Beach Booty

Summer's almost over. Get your eyefuls while they last.


Candice Swanepoel

Ciara

Rihanna

Jasmine Waltz

Megalyn Echikunwoke

It's the Weekend

Time to do it for the fam...

Beijing Brawlin

Keep in mind, this was part of a goodwill tour.

From The Dagger:

Georgetown had to leave the court during the fourth quarter of its exhibition game against the Baiyi Rockets on Thursday night in Beijing after both benches emptied and a wild brawl erupted between the two teams. None of the Hoyas were seriously injured despite trading punches with the opposing players and having to dodge chairs thrown onto the court and water bottles hurled from the stands.

The best account of what led to the melee comes from the Washington Post's Gene Wang, apparently the lone U.S. reporter in attendance.

Wang wrote that the game was tense from the outset and had to be stopped earlier after two players exchanged words. At one point, a Rockets player even berated John Thompson III as the Georgetown coach yelled instructions to his players.

The hard fouls and constant bickering eventually devolved into bedlam when Bayi big man Hu Ke was called for a foul against Georgetown guard Jason Clark. The senior made it clear he did not appreciate the hard foul, sparking the initial exchange of shoves that led players from both benches to run onto the court in defense of their teammates.

Rumors that The Hero and I were involved for the opposing sides are pure hearsay. Video of the throwdown:

Best. Roommate. Ever.

Great Craigslist find by my boy TK.

Anyway, so I landed this job with a marketing firm in San Francisco, and I have no fucking clue where to live. Honestly, I'm moving there in 3 weeks, so I don't give a shit if I have to sleep in your bathtub.

A bit about me: I'm respectful, quiet, clean and I won't bother any of your shit. If you leave shit out, I'm just like, "Oh fuck I better not mess with this shit, because it's not mine." I turn off lights. I clean toilets. Fuck it. I'll even cook for you. That's right! My dad is a chef and taught me everything there is to know about cooking southern cajun cuisine. I'll fry green tomatoes, cover them with marinated crab meat and smother that shit in bearnaise. EVERY. GODDAMN. NIGHT. Don't eat meat? That's fucking FANTASTIC! I'll make a zucchini and yellow squash carpaccio that will knock your fucking socks off.

Check out the whole thing here. Definitely worth the read. And if you're in the Bay Area, you might think of giving this guy a call. Roommates "who consistently blows your fucking mind with awesomeness" are hard to find.

Throwback Thursday: "Steady Mobbin" -- Ice Cube

This week's throwback, as selected by TJ. Hard to argue with the man's tastes.