Stiff Competition

Welp, I'm moving to China.

From Playboy:

This Chinese game show starts with two women hitting the streets in search of contestants–each carrying a rubber chicken, because why not. Once the men have been chosen, they’re taken to a competition stage where each woman gives a hand job and the first man to…finish, wins.

My question is, what happens to the guy who loses? Do they just leave him like that? Don't they know guys can die from blue balls? I mean, that's just science.

(Maybe they send them to Japan to compete in a consolation game.)

Bitch Don't Kill My Vibe

All I know is, neither one of them is having any of Ray Rice's shit. None of it.

It's Just Like Riding a Bike

#yolo

Beijing Brawlin

Keep in mind, this was part of a goodwill tour.

From The Dagger:

Georgetown had to leave the court during the fourth quarter of its exhibition game against the Baiyi Rockets on Thursday night in Beijing after both benches emptied and a wild brawl erupted between the two teams. None of the Hoyas were seriously injured despite trading punches with the opposing players and having to dodge chairs thrown onto the court and water bottles hurled from the stands.

The best account of what led to the melee comes from the Washington Post's Gene Wang, apparently the lone U.S. reporter in attendance.

Wang wrote that the game was tense from the outset and had to be stopped earlier after two players exchanged words. At one point, a Rockets player even berated John Thompson III as the Georgetown coach yelled instructions to his players.

The hard fouls and constant bickering eventually devolved into bedlam when Bayi big man Hu Ke was called for a foul against Georgetown guard Jason Clark. The senior made it clear he did not appreciate the hard foul, sparking the initial exchange of shoves that led players from both benches to run onto the court in defense of their teammates.

Rumors that The Hero and I were involved for the opposing sides are pure hearsay. Video of the throwdown:

Fuck Yo Hurdles

I don't see what he did wrong. After all, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

Cat Burglary Fail

This guy could use some tutoring by the Night Fox. Karma is a bitch.

Road to Nowhere

And you thought your city's traffic was bad? If it still took you less than a day to get to where you were going, then I think some people in China would consider you lucky.

From Yahoo! News:

BEIJING (AFP) – Thousands of vehicles were bogged down Monday in a more than 100-kilometre (62-mile) traffic jam leading to Beijing that has lasted nine days and highlights China's growing road congestion woes.

The Beijing-Tibet expressway slowed to a crawl on August 14 due to a spike in traffic by cargo-bearing heavy trucks heading to the capital, and compounded by road maintenance work that began five days later, the Global Times said.

I'm guessing that nine months from now, there's going to be a surge in births in that region. Lots of little Chevys, Mercedes, and Lexuses.