Respect My Gangsta: Paul Pierce

All series long both teams have been crying about the refs (and rightfully so, they suck) and even though I hate his bitch antics, I have to give it to Paul Pierce, who managed to slip an "inadvertent" right jab in on the referee.

Daily Dunk: Paul Pierce

Even though they lost in overtime, I'm going with PP for the Daily Dunk. Honestly, I didn't know he could still dunk. I'm also surprised he didn't get injured on the play and then miraculously come back into the game three minutes later. But I digress. Now the question is: Celtics in five? Or is this going six, seven games deep?

Yearly Dunk: Joakim Noah

This is definitely the dunk of the season. A steal to win the game, followed by a dunk on the defending champion's NBA Finals MVP... and 1.

Certified

Lingering thoughts after the most entertaining finals in about a decade.

Pau Gasol
Suddenly that trade doesn’t look so lopsided. We knew he was soft, but this soft? He’d have a hard time guarding Lisa Leslie in the post right now. He showed occasional flashes of competence but apart from that? Huge, European disappointment. I say European because he is the stereotype of the European big man. Sweet shooting, sweeter passing, occasionally sweet post moves, abysmal at everything else.

Lamar Odom
I wrote this long post about Odom yesterday before the game but the internet
possibly hates me and probably hates Odom as well so it saw fit to delete it. Maybe one day I will rewrite it in its entirety, perhaps as a eulogy to his career that wasn’t (which, by the look of things, doesn’t seem like it will last much longer) but not right now. I will however reference it. I don’t think there is a bigger enigma in the NBA today or possibly ever. Odom, whose career I have followed since his sophomore year (and I have a Clippers banner to attest to this fact), is possibly the most gifted player in the world not named Lebron James. You see the occasional flashes of it. Youtube him and watch a mixtape. He does things no one who’s 6’10”, 235 should be capable of. He’s like the spiritual twin of Derrick Coleman, but with more potential, and thus, more of a disappointment. All is not right, in a strictly basketball sense. He’s the anti-Jordan when it comes to swagger. He seems completely out of place in the man’s world of professional basketball. You could see it when he got stared down by KG. You could see it when Rondo played keep-away with the ball after a Celtic turnover. Maybe one day he’ll “get it”. If not, the man who could’ve been the evolutionary Magic Johnson will merely end up the black Toni Kukoc. Also, look for him to be traded this off-season.

Kobe Bryant
Bryant started this series as Michael Jordan 2.0. He ended it as the poor man’s Paul Pierce. By all accounts the comparisons to His Airness stopped after the game 4 meltdown and have been forgotten completely following the game 6 blowout. But still, has anyone ever done more damage to their own legacy in under two weeks? I want to feel sorry for him, but can’t.

Phil Jackson
Ok, scratch what I said about Kobe and his unprecedented legacy self-destruction. The Zen Master will be right up there with him. Really, if you want a scapegoat for the Lakers’ implosion, look no further. He’s been getting outcoached by Doc Rivers, he’s been on the receiving end of a historic thrashing, but he doesn’t seem to care. I don’t know whether his absolute nirvana-esque calm comes from his Zen philosophy or the 6-figure paycheck he’s drawing/sugar-mama he’s banging.

The Lakers
After watching them dismantle the Spurs I couldn’t help but drink a little of the Purple and Fool’s Gold Gatorade. Their offense was sublime and their defense was efficient. And all without Bynum. Here was a worthy finalist. It wasn’t to be so. I don’t think the Mavericks meltdown in the finals is the benchmark anymore. The Lakers have usurped their inglorious throne, and I don’t even think I’m exaggerating. Will they make the finals next season with a “healthy” (back for the second round of the playoffs anyone? Anyone?) Bynum? If you’d asked me two weeks ago I would have said, “Undoubtedly!” Today, I’m doubtful. Very doubtful. If Kobe can be stopped once he can be stopped again. I think every team will count on that.

Ray Allen
Say what you will about Garnett’s intensity and Pierce’s heroics, I think the glue that held the Celtics together in the Finals was Allen’s professionalism. Despite everything Pierce did, I still feel like Allen should have gotten a big piece of that Finals MVP trophy. He brought it every single game. At both ends of the court. Pierce gets most of the credit for guarding Kobe and making life difficult for him, but it always seemed like Allen was the one with a hand in Kobe’s grill on every important possession. And I’ll give him the bulk of the credit for the comeback game which was the tipping point of the series. Posey and House might’ve had big games but Allen was the MVP of that game. He played every single second. He was manning the point almost the entire time. He was guarding Kobe most of the time. He made the game clinching shot. He broke the Lakers spirit. One of the most understatedly superlative performances I’ve ever seen.

Paul Pierce
He probably deserves this title more than anyone else. He could have been like Kobe, he could have asked out. He could have been a prima donna. He could have been a gunner extraordinaire. But he stuck it out. He played the good soldier and was rewarded for it. And at the end of the day he’ll probably watch his number get reeled up to the rafters right next to Bird and Russell. If that isn’t a fairytale story, I don’t know what is.

Kevin Garnett
On the one hand I’m happy for the guy. Nobody deserved a championship more than him. But I can’t help but feel a twinge of sadness. He deserved to get this in Minnesota. There are a few players in NBA history that will always be indelibly associated with the teams they played on. You can’t think of Jordan or the Bulls without thinking of the other. Magic and the Lakers. Bird and the Celtics. Duncan and the Spurs. Payton and the Sonics. Miller and the Pacers. Ewing and the Knicks. Stockton/Malone and the Jazz. Will Garnett be remembered as a Timberwolf or a Celtic?

Rajon Rondo
Every time I see him steal the ball, or make a sick pass it burns me to think that he was drafted by the Suns. Damn you Robert Sarver. Damn you to hell.

Sam Cassell
Please. Just retire. Please!

Doc Rivers
Might not be the best coach of all time, but he stepped up to the plate. Having Tom Thibodeaux on the bench probably didn't hurt.

The Celtics
Will they make the finals again next year? I don’t see why not.

Daily Dunk: Championship Edition

I've never been a Celtics fan, but I was happy to see them vanquish Kobe and the Evil Empire last night, especially in such emphatic fashion. So here's the CrookedStraight.com salute to the Green Machine and its 17th franchise championship.

The Big Ticket, aka The Kid, aka Farragut's Finest. The team's heart and toughest warrior. He cried like a baby after the game, and no one begrudged him. Here he is hitting a circus shot last night that required him to hang in the air for approximately 12 minutes.



The Truth has been through a lot of misery with his Celtics, and he hasn't always been up to the challenge of carrying the franchise. But he stepped the f#^! up in the playoffs to the tune of being named Finals MVP, and he even took on the responsibility of Gatorading Doc Rivers. Also, perhaps now he'll be remembered for more than being stabbed by Benzino's peoples.



Radar Ray, aka Jesus Shuttlesworth, lost his deadeye aim early in the playoffs, but with the NBA's purest form on his jumper, you knew his slump wouldn't last long. He regained his marksmanship in time for the Finals and began dropping the long-range daggers to balance KG's dominance in the paint and PP's inside-out game.



"Johnny" Rondo, the Celts' young PG, had the game of his career last night, clocking 21 points, eight assists, seven rebounds, six steals and just one turnover while playing frenetic, nonstop defense all over the court while ignoring the bad ankle he twisted in Game 3. Even Uncle Phil Jackson called him the hero of Game 6. Here he blows past Rip Hamilton and gives up his body to facialize Jason Maxiell in the Eastern semifinals.



Eddie "E-House" House, a CrookedStraight.com favorite ... well, he's just the motherf*&#ing shooter here.



Tony Allen really deserves a quick vid of his game-ending reverse alley oop, but no one's seen fit to post it anywhere yet, so y'all will just have to settle for this breakaway joint from a couple years ago against the Nuggedy Nugs.



There's only one way to really end this properly, and it's a crying shame I can't find a vid of this either, so you'll have to settle for a simple picture of midseason pickup and wily veteran Sam Cassell.

THE NBA ... WHERE THE TESTICLE DANCE HAPPENS.

Celts vs. Lakers: Who has the better wives?

Check out the Complex blog to vote on who has the better wives between the Lakers (Kobe/Fish/Luke) and the Celtics (Ray/KG/Pierce).

I gave it to the Celtics and they won 2-1 in good product (no offense to Luke, Paul or D-Fish).

It definitely would have been a much fairer vote if we could see who every player is regularly sleeping with. I'm sure that Vlad Rad has at least one bad Euro model and Sasha seems to be in good hands with the Laker Girls.

However, I have no doubt that Eddie House is killing the game with some west coast beauties.

Here's the link again.

$25K Gesture

Paul Pierce was hit with a $25,000 fine by the NBA for what was deemed a "menacing sign" that Pierce made towards Atlanta Hawks player Al Horton during game three of the Hawks Celtics series.

Many people proclaimed Pierce was throwing up a Bloods gang sign, which I find pretty ridiculous. Why the hell would a professional athlete making millions of dollars make a fool out of himself by throwing up a gang sign during the middle of an NBA game?




The hand sign is actually something Paul Pierce does before every home game introduction, which is supposed to signify blood, sweat ad tears. That's one theory anyway. Here's mine;


Notice how Pierce's hand gesture is eerily similar to the one above labeled "B.K."



It was all a simple misunderstanding as Mr. Pierce was simply indicating to Al Horton that he wanted a Double Whopper with cheese after the game, and he'd be buying.