Respect My Gangsta: Rob Gronkowski

The Patriots' tight end is a fan of his position. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that he's a fan of multiple positions, just like Bibi.

From Yard Barker:

With the Patriots on the bye week, Gronk returned to Arizona (where he attended college), for the weekend. He spent some time with porn star Bibi Jones, who tweeted two pictures of the two hanging out together. She also told her followers to follow her “favorite football player.” I knew there was a reason I recommended him to every fantasy team.

From exchanging tweets with Kate Upton to hanging with porn stars, nobody does it like Rob Gronkowski. It most definitely is Gronk’s world, we’re all just living in it.

If I'd known the Gronk had it going on like that, I definitely would've added him to my fantasy teams this year. After scoring 10 touchdowns on only 42 receptions in 2010, he's proven that he has a nose for the endzone; now he's showing that he's an expert in more than just one way of scoring.

TJ with the assist.

Scrambling

In the narrative of American culture, the star quarterback gets the hot girl. But, if 80s movies have taught us anything, the star quarterback is also the biggest douchebag in town. So what, then, would be better karma than for that douchebag to father a child by the hot girl; for that child to be a daughter; and for that daughter to then use the blessing of a prime gene pool to grow into a beautiful woman who gets paid to parade around in very little clothing? Thus forcing the douchey star quarterback to endure years of torment from knowing his sweet babygirl is regularly eyebanged by throngs of drooling guys.

The only issue with this scenario is that one of the dads in question is Doug Flutie, who is to the "douchebag star quarterback" stereotype what Common is to gangsta rap (regardless what Fox News racists will try to tell you).

From Shutdown Corner:

There will once again be a Flutie on the New England Patriots sideline this season. No, Doug Flutie isn't coming out of retirement at the age of 48.

Instead, the former NFL quarterback's daughter, Alexa, will be making her debut as a rookie cheerleader for the Pats.

As you can see, Miss Flutie is foine. And if her dad is looking to start a support group for famous fathers of hot half-naked female professionals, then he might think to call Mark Rypien. Mark's daughter, Angela Brunell, is now a quarterback in the Lingerie Football League.

I bet there's a lot of scotch drank at those support group meetings.