If I Win This Powerball I'm Going To Be Petty As Fuck

So this Powerball shit is now (as of 1/13/16) 1.3 BILLION dollars. With that kind of windfall most of us have wondered what we would do if we won that type of money. Truth is, most of us are going to be broke and tap dancing for nickels within 2 years. Whether it be from M.C. Hammeritis (being too fucking generous) or thinking money has suddenly made us into Warren Buffet (over-estimating our own business savvy) we gonna blow through that shit like that chick I dated who told me she blew a basketball team.

But for shits and giggles this is what I would do if I won

1. I would go to work and blast the loudest, crazy hyped up, nastiest, angry, ridiculous hip hop.I'm talking Love In Your Mouth (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XblF49ltwjs), Down Bottom (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAlpG7kODzg), Neva Eva (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WrCfPBV6uY) etc etc and dare a motherfucka to say some shit.
2. I would go to the nearest dealership and buy a Bugatti JUST SO I CAN SNAPCHAT MYSELF SCREAMING "I WOKE UP IN A NEW BUGATTI". Then take that shit right back (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djE-BLrdDDc)
3. I would open a Waffle House cause I love grits and shit
4. I would learn how to say NO in as many languages as possible because I'm giving none of you SHIT. I don't give a fiddly fuck about your idea for a new chain of fried chicken joints or the record label you want to start. I mean even in Consuela voice. "No, noooooo I no give Mr. Peter"
5. Anytime they want me to take a picture of me with the check or for promotional purposes I'm whipping my dick out. EVERYTIME
6. I'd find every person who I hate, offer them a job and then fire that ass IMMEDIATELY (grand opening, grand closing)
7. Buy a Jerome.

                                   

Yes this cat right there...Because if I'm going to live the life of a light skinned cat, Morris Day ain't a bad choice at all. Plus that means I could bust out The Bird and Jungle Love anytime I wanted at work.

I mean a brother can dream can't he?

Auto Eroticism: Bugatti 16 C Galibier

I don't know how I feel about this.

From Yahoo! Autos:

Given the superlative nature and awesome speed of Bugatti’s already legendary, 250-plus mph Veyron supercar, interest in the manufacturer’s follow-up is intense. The company had previously gone on record as saying that its next model wouldn’t be a supercar, but details were scant — until now. In a recent article from the German magazine Auto Motor und Sport, Bugatti CEO Wolfgang Dürheimer confirms that the new car will be in the vein of the controversial 16 C Galibier concept, which debuted in 2009. It will seat four and have a generous trunk, Dürheimer says; you can bet that a set of fitted luggage will be one of the pricey options.

More important is what’s fitted up front, of course, which the article claims will be a 16-cylinder engine, although power output wasn’t mentioned. (The W-16 under the Galibier’s butterfly bonnet delivers a mere 800 hp, somewhat less than the 1,001 churned up by the 8-liter W-16 in the mid-engine Veyron.) The Galibier concept is big, though, so don’t expect Veyron-esque, sub-three-second zero-to-60-mph sprints no matter how much carbon fiber and aluminum the new car contains. Interestingly, a hybrid model (presumably a plug-in hybrid) is on the docket as well, with an electric-only driving range of about 25 miles, according to Dürheimer.

On the one hand, I would love to take a long road trip in a car like this. I just drove to Chattanooga and back within the past week; as unpleasant as a trip of that length can be, doing so in this car would have to make it just that much better.

On the other hand, the words "Bugatti" and "family" just don't seem to belong in the same sentence. I mean, if your kids are 17 or older, then maybe it's not so bad. But can you imagine having two small children in an interior of extravagant leathers and woodgrain? How many scratches, rips, and stains would you have to get fixed after the first week?