Crooked Straight | Sports, Kicks, Poker, Money, Music

It's Friday

2012-01-27T12:00:00.000-08:00

Time to knuckle up...

F.O.H.: Fur & Feather "Bikini" Glamour

2012-01-27T10:13:00.000-08:00

As spotted on Buzzfeed:

Right Tool for the Job

2012-01-27T09:07:00.000-08:00

Wait...what?

Listen carefully, or you might miss it: This reporter just let a little bit of his ghettoness out.

TJ with the assist.

Throwback Thursday: "All Falls Down" -- Kanye West

2012-01-26T10:00:00.000-08:00

Still a great track from Ye's first album, but I'll be honest: my real reason for choosing this video was the chance to put Stacey Dash on the page again. I'd post her up everyday if I could (...yup).

Leadership

2012-01-25T17:00:00.000-08:00

You can say what you want to about Ray Lewis. But no other player of this generation is this powerful of a leader. This speech was recorded this past Sunday, after the Ravens' heartbreaking loss to New England in the AFC Championship game.

UPDATE: *sigh* The NFL can suck me. Why they feel the need to keep game footage (and now postgame footage? The fuck?) off YouTube is beyond me, since it's not like they lose any money if fans watch clips somewhere other than on their own servers. And not only do they have a horrible web media device, they don't let you embed it on your own site! The best I can do is provide you this link, and apologize on behalf of common sense. Consider this a "F.O.H." post-within-a-post. To the NFL's social media "gurus": Find a new career, because you are absolutely terrible at your current one. Fuck outta here.

Stalkerazzi: Eniko

2012-01-25T16:31:00.000-08:00

Kevin Hart's doing it right. I'm about five months late on this but... Here's a few pics of the ever-popular comedian and his girlfriend, Eniko.

Not bad, Kev. I see you, playboy.

Download: Joe Budden -- "No Church in the Wild"

2012-01-25T14:29:00.000-08:00

New fire from Joey.

Emperors of Comedy

2012-01-25T11:36:00.000-08:00

Start saving ticket money now (and maybe hotel money; if it happens, there's no guarantee that they'll come to your city). Chris Rock and Dave Chappelle are rumored to be considering a joint tour.

From Bossip:

Chris recently talked about the potential tour as he stopped at The Sundance Film Festival:
“I’ve been talking to Chappelle a lot. Been trying to get Chappelle to go on tour. You know I’m not the hard one laughing. But I’m trying to make that happen. After seeing Kanye and Jay-Z, I was like, ‘Me and Dave should do this.’
Hell yeah! Rock doesn’t have a name for the tour yet, but he’s probably open to suggestions, right?”

Sign me the fuck up right now. I've seen Chappelle live, and he's as good or better than he is on TV. And I would have to assume Rock is just as good live. Let's make this happen, boys.

Tail Report: Dannielle Michelle

2012-01-25T08:54:00.000-08:00

Dannielle was T.I.T.S. Blog's "Cutie of the Week" two weeks ago, and I still haven't recovered. This girl is straight fire. And she can cook, too? Wifey.

Dannielle Michelle was born and raised in Miami, FL and earned her BA in marketing at Florida Atlantic University. She recently made the move to Las Vegas where she plans on opening a cupcake boutique at some point in the near future. Her whole life people have assumed she was Latina even though she is mixed with Vietnamese, Chinese and White.

I'm suddenly having some very unsanitary thoughts involving cupcake icing...

F.O.H.: iPad Case by Fleshlight

2012-01-24T13:08:00.000-08:00

From Gizmodo:

The iPad's a darn attractive gadget, but that 30-pin connector ain't made for love. That's why this Fleshlight-holding iPad case concept caught our eye. Imagine all the things you could pretend to have sex with! And it turns out, it's not just some crazy, er, pipe dream. It, or something like it, is coming soon.

The Kobe System

2012-01-24T06:23:00.001-08:00

The Kobe System ads have been okay so far, but this one is quality, thanks to Aziz Ansari.

TJ with the assist.

F.O.H.: Parenting

2012-01-23T13:55:00.000-08:00

Stand and Deliver: Kevin Hart

2012-01-23T11:40:00.000-08:00

A quick clip about slanguage from Kev's "Grown Little Man".

Working It

2012-01-23T09:09:00.000-08:00

When life hands you lemons, you make lemonade. And if you're a cop in the Philippines, and those lemons are being stuck with traffic duty, well...

Monday Kickstart: Gina Carano Will Fucking Kill You

2012-01-23T08:20:00.000-08:00

There's just so much to love about this picture:

Serial sleazebag Mario Lopez getting choked out by the most dangerous woman on the planet.
A crowd of onlookers watching with a level of glee typically reserved for buzzer-beating three point shots in the NCAA Tourney.
I mean, seriously, look how ecstatic the cute Asian girl on the right is.
The distinct possibility that being choked out by Gina Carano in front of a cheering crowd is actually bringing Lopez to climax.
The distinct possibility that the blonde woman in red is locked in on physical evidence that Lopez is enjoying being choked out.
The distinct possibility that Carano, too, knows Lopez is about to climax, and as a result is conflicted about whether or not to keep squeezing

The only thing I don't love about this picture is that it may be the least attractive photo of Carano that I've ever seen. And since you just can't start a workweek without a little eye candy, I feel the need to rectify this:

You're welcome. Let's get it.

It's the Weekend

2012-01-20T12:00:00.000-08:00

Time to get down on it...

Happy Birthday Ms. Dash

2012-01-20T08:17:00.000-08:00

The beautiful and talented Stacey Dash turns 45 today.

Seriously, 4-5. Women half as old would kill to look this good.

No More Sparkles

2012-01-20T08:03:00.001-08:00

Friends don't let friends be that girl. ...Of course, friends also don't videotape that girl and then put her on YouTube.

My girl TD with the assist.

MegaUH-OH

2012-01-19T13:41:00.000-08:00

It just became a little more difficult to download free music on the internet.

From Gizmodo:

Mixtape mecca and openair piracy expo Megaupload has a serious problem: it's just been shut down by the feds. The feds. And they didn't even need SOPA!

The federal indictment accuses Megaupload—which shocked the internet with the revelation that rap producer Swizz Beatz is for some reason its CEO—of over $500 million in lost media revenue from hosting pirated media. They had quite a run, though! Megaupload boasted "more than 150 million registered users, 50 million daily visitors and accounting for four percent of the total traffic on the Internet," according to the DoJ.

If you thought the new music posts here at CS had become scarce in the past...

Water Blockin'

2012-01-19T13:18:00.000-08:00

Now, for around $60 (plus s&h), your phone can be safe when it falls out of your shirt pocket and into the ice water in the cooler at this summer's cookouts.

From The Huffington Post:

According to Cult of Mac, Liquipel doesn't just protect your phone from rain or random splashes, it permeates every nook and cranny in the hardware to for total H2O immersion without any damage. On their website, the folks at Liquipel are quick to point out that this doesn't mean you can take your phone swimming. The coating, which is 1000 times thinner than a human hair, is meant to protect against "rain, spills, baby drool and short term submersion such as the sink or toilet."

Send your iPhone or Droid (though there are exceptions; the approved list of models is currently small, but growing daily) to Liquipel, and they'll apply the waterproofing science over the course of 1-2 days, and then ship it back to you. The innovative company is also attempting to license this technology to phone manufacturers, which means in the future your phone could come straight from the factory waterproofed and ready to go.

I wonder if this stuff works against beer?

Respect My Gangsta: Warren Buffet

2012-01-19T12:36:00.000-08:00

From The Huffington Post:

The famed investor joined other huge names like Ashanti, Russell Simmons and Spike Lee last night at the re-opening of his pal Jay Z's Manhattan club 40/40. At the party, the 81-year-old, best known for his financial savvy, rocked Jay Z's diamond sign.

This isn't the first time that the two super rich men have been spotted together. Jay-Z made an appearance in an episode of Buffett's "Secret Millionaires Club," an animated series about a group of youngsters led by Buffett as they tackle financial emergencies. In the video, the husband of Beyonce and father of Blue Ivy Carter schools the kids on giving back.

The two also appeared together in an interview with Forbes in 2010 where they discussed the secrets of their success. Both touched on the value in having a wealth of experience and trusting their gut.

Billionaire Boys Club.

Throwback Thursday: "I Know What You Want" -- Busta Rhymes ft. Flipmode Squad & Mariah Carey

2012-01-19T10:00:00.000-08:00

Sound quality on this one ain't so great, but you get what you pay for... This was a lowkey (despite the obvious commercial appeal) track, definitely something good for bumping on the way to the club or bar. Mariah was still looking fierce back then (2003), but she looks plain as hell next to the object of Busta's video-vixen desire (Lashontae Heckard, looking like straight fire).

I've got to give the production team some props for making a video that's cinematic without being overwrought (*cough*Diddy*cough*), even if it doesn't jive completely with the track's subject matter.

Through the Looking Glass

2012-01-19T08:17:00.000-08:00

This is on some Minority Report shit: A look into the potential future involving technology built with glass. Personally, I'm not one of those people who feel that there's already too much intrusion upon our lives by electronics and that we as a society needs to "unplug", but... About halfway through this video, things start to feel a little overwhelming. Though I'm sure the ladies out there will enjoy the vision of fashion and shopping in the future that Corning has imagined.

My boy Hollywood with the assist.

Toys R Me

2012-01-18T12:17:00.000-08:00

*dead*

Toys R Me with Lance Reddick from Lance Reddick

What's Up Doc?

2012-01-18T11:54:00.000-08:00

I'm suddenly feeling a lot of love for Rachel Bilson.

Call Me Doctor with Rachel Bilson from Rachel Bilson

Punch it Up

2012-01-17T16:06:00.000-08:00

With the average age demographic of "Jeopardy!" contestants shifting from one generation to the next, I wouldn't be too surprised to see more gaffes like this one as the years go on. I mean, in all honesty, I probably would've come up with the same answer as this guy.

Life Ain't Fair

2012-01-17T13:53:00.000-08:00

Know why? Because when Dwyane Wade, who by age 29 has already been blessed with ridiculous athleticism, a sweet gig as the starting point guard for the biggest sports franchise in Miami (of all cities!), an NBA championship, and Gabrielle-hot-as-fiyah-Union for a girlfriend, finally turned 30—that turning point which most of us meet with angst and trepidation—he was given a brand new McLaren MP4-12C.

Let me state that again: Wade was GIVEN a new McLaren. The superstar, millionaire, A-list-Hollywood-actress-tagging NBA player was handed the keys to a beautiful, top-of-the-game $230,000 supercar, free of charge. Think about that long and hard. And then try to sleep tonight.

TJ with the assist.

Mind Blowing

2012-01-16T21:21:00.000-08:00

You may have spotted this new Old Spice ad during the playoff games on Saturday. And you may have nearly wet yourself from laughter. I know I almost did.

It's the Weekend

2012-01-13T12:00:00.000-08:00

Time get in touch with your feelings...

Stand and Deliver: Donald Glover

2012-01-13T09:37:00.000-08:00

[Let's see how long I can keep these "Stand and Deliver" posts going this time...they sort of petered out a couple of years ago.]

Ever notice how there's only a one-letter difference between "KIDS" and "AIDS"? Donald Glover has. From his Comedy Central special, "Weirdo".

Donald Glover: Weirdo

Donald Glover - Kids Positive

www.comedycentral.com

Comedy Central

Funny Videos

Funny TV Shows

Big Tweet (Redux)

2012-01-12T12:34:00.001-08:00

A year ago today, we brought you the original Funny Or Die clip. Now, thanks to producer Tanya Ryno, we give you the full-length, extended cut. As great at the first one was, the added material takes this video to all new levels. Holla at me, Big Tweet.

Naked Ambition

2012-01-12T11:30:00.000-08:00

Although I question the need to further convince the world that "fur" is bad, I still applaud the lengths to which Ms. Munn will go to get her point across.

[P.S.: GotDAMN, girl... Call me.]

Karma's a Motha

2012-01-12T11:14:00.000-08:00

No words. It's all just too much. Make sure you watch until the very end, though. And let it be a reminder that the universe is watching.

Throwback Thursday: "Nuff Respect" -- Big Daddy Kane

2012-01-12T10:00:00.000-08:00

'92 was a hell of a year. Juice is still one of my all-time favorite flicks.

I'm Jus' Sayin'

2012-01-12T08:40:00.000-08:00

The new Key & Peele show on Comedy Central (premieres 1/31) is looking promising.

Respect My Gangsta: Sofia Walker

2012-01-11T15:09:00.000-08:00

You've probably seen it by now, but if not: This 3 year old girl is more gangsta than most people ten times her age.

Video: Trae Tha Truth ft. MDMA, Lupe Fiasco, Big Boi, Wale, & Wiz Khalifa -- "I'm On"

2012-01-10T11:46:00.000-08:00

This shit's fresher than a newborn. TJ with the assist.

Glory

2012-01-09T10:19:00.000-08:00

Don't know if you heard, but Mr. Carter had a bit of good news this weekend.

Glory feat. B.I.C.

Boats & Hoes

2012-01-09T10:10:00.000-08:00

Kevin Hart is a damn nut. Here's his latest "Chocolate Droppa" freestyle. #RealRapRaw

The Lion King Rises

2012-01-09T09:54:00.000-08:00

Great mashup of the latest Dark Knight trailer and Simba's rise to gangstaness.

It's Friday

2012-01-06T12:00:00.000-08:00

Time to do what you like...

Donda Dreamin'

2012-01-06T09:32:00.000-08:00

What would an ad for Donda (Kanye's new design firm) look like? Jimmy Kimmel thinks he has an answer.

Tail Report: Justene Jaro

2012-01-05T13:19:00.000-08:00

I mean... I... I... *choked up with ~~lust~~ love*

Oh, and if you're jealous of me and Justene's thing, don't worry homie: She's got a sister.

Customer Appreciation

2012-01-05T12:42:00.000-08:00

Xmas is over, but if you're looking for a gift for me, well... Give me a ticket to wherever this factory is (no need to actually buy me the drawers).

Throwback Thursday: "Microphone Fiend" -- Eric B. & Rakim

2012-01-05T10:48:00.001-08:00

Fuck yes.

Flight Time: Anthony Davis

2012-01-04T08:31:00.000-08:00

This is why you don't challenge a freshman 1st team All-American player when your nickname is "Carrot Top".

"Thinner. Lighter. Faster. Facetime..."

2012-01-04T06:58:00.000-08:00

Garrett with the assist.

Love Hurts

2012-01-03T21:36:00.001-08:00

Some may question the authenticity of this scene--I even did, on my very first viewing. After all, people will do just about anything that they think will go viral, just for some temporary internet fame and maybe a shot at making Tosh.0. But whether this guy's anguish is real or scripted, the fact remains that this is a supreme example of why you should never, ever, ever, EVER propose on an arena/stadium jumbotron. I don't care how cool you THINK it is, homie. Even if she says yes, she'll never respect you again, and it's going to be a short marriage (I've seen the evidence in real life, trust).

The Glamour Life

2012-01-03T10:39:00.000-08:00

Ever wish you were living the true Playboy lifestyle? The iconic mens' mag has just announced a contest that will give the lucky winner that experience for an entire year.

As incredible as it would be to win this, can you imagine how f'd it will feel once the year is over?

Just a Reminder

2012-01-03T07:30:00.000-08:00

...In case you missed the news amidst all of the New Year's commotion: Katy's single again.

Game on, fellas.

[TJ with the assist.]

It's the Weekend

2011-12-30T15:05:00.000-08:00

Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintance be forgot, and auld lang syne?...

Throwback Thursday: "Do It Again (Put Ya Hands Up)" -- Jay-Z ft. Beanie Sigel & Amil

2011-12-29T13:54:00.000-08:00

Hope all of you are ready to get it on Saturday night.

Flight Time: Justise Winslow

2011-12-26T22:54:00.000-08:00

The high school sophomore is already a top prospect of 2014. If you're curious as to why, just watch this video.

Happy Holidays

2011-12-25T12:45:00.000-08:00

Hope your holiday was...satisfying.

It's the Weekend

2011-12-23T12:00:00.000-08:00

Time to enjoy a nice holiday spread...

Spotted on Buzzfeed.

Throwback Thursday: "Into You" Fabolous ft. Tamia

2011-12-22T10:00:00.000-08:00

"I'll outshine you on tracks, like Tamia did Ashanti..."

I was a fan of this track when I first copped the Street Dreams CD. But then the single dropped, and two things happened: (1.) Tamia did the damn thang and successfully reclaimed the track from Ashanti; and (2.) I fell in love with Tamia all over again. This was definitely a beach track that summer (2003), which makes it fitting that Fab took the video in that direction as well.

Xmas List 2011: Polaboy

2011-12-21T08:35:00.000-08:00

I'm not exactly an art connoisseur. The most artistic thing on the walls in my apartment is a Pittsburgh Sparks calendar that I got free at a game last summer (hi Miss January). But even I could get down with this creative idea. As explained by the folks at Thrillist:

From two German dudes going by the moniker "Lightboys" who're big into 'roids, Polaboy will blow up any Polaroid into a large-format back-lit version that, when illuminated, will "not only open up rooms, but also hearts and minds", so it actually won't be polarizing? Send 'em a hard copy of your pic (or upload a hi-res digital version) and select an aspect ratio, and they'll use a special scanner to capture the image, exposing an enlarged version onto a proprietary sheet of slide film, also how Coolio pitches his concept of a two-hour-long rap opera based on "Fantastic Voyage"...when he isn't busy captaining teams in Rock & Jock. A mountable rear LED panel is then attached, and it's all "pimped" by Coolio with a fabric-wrapped power cord in your choice of seven colorways, from orange, to red w/ white spots.

If somehow you possess zero photos, your life is pathetic, but you can still pick from a catalog of pro shots featuring everything from beach scenes to a naked woman in a pool, who'll Shanghai your visitors' attention with her Forbidden City. Baby pandas!!

If any of my dearest loved ones are reading this and giving it serious thought, I'll offer two suggestions:

(1.) This shot, from Polaboy's galleries:

(2.) This shot, of my baby Hiromi Oshima:

Just a thought.

A Conversation with Mr. Glover

2011-12-20T09:42:00.000-08:00

That would be Donald Glover, a.k.a. Childish Gambino. The talented comedian/actor/writer/emcee talks with Forbes.com about his success and why he hopes he never "makes it".

Xmas List 2011: Whisky Blender

2011-12-19T20:23:00.000-08:00

Still looking for a gift for that hard-to-buy-for boozehound? If he or she is a whisky drinker, then you need look no further:

From uncrate:

Unless you sip on single malts exclusively, odds are you've run into a blended whiskey somewhere along the way. Whisky Blender (£35 and up; roughly $55+) lets you create your own specialized blend from a selection of seven different whiskys, each available for adding in amounts as small as 10ml. Once you're done, you can give the blend its own name, which will be handwritten on the label that adorns the 70cl corked decanter bottle, and save the mixture for future refills should the mixture be to your liking. While the wisdom of ordering booze you've never tasted before is always questionable, there's no doubt that it'll be far more interesting than your average bottle of Old Crow.

While any new blend or brew that finds its way onto liqour store shelves (especially the top ones) is sure to interest a veteran booze enthusiast such as myself, this idea provides a wow factor that you just won't find with a mass-produced bottle. I love Crown Royal, but if you give me an opportunity to create my own signature blend? Well, that's a gift your beloved booze fan won't soon forget.

My boy Chappy with the assist.

Flight Time

2011-12-18T17:11:00.000-08:00

From The Dagger:

Five minutes into Saturday's game between Division III Heidelberg University and Trine University, Heidelberg's Victor Fortkamp botched his attempt at a one-handed follow slam of a teammate's missed runner. The force of Fortkamp's missed dunk sent the ball maybe 25 feet in the air directly above the rim, enabling 6-foot-5 forward Nate Davis to time his leap for a soaring two-handed slam of his own.

It's Friday

2011-12-16T12:00:00.000-08:00

Time to party...

Throwback Thursday: "Ready or Not" -- The Fugees

2011-12-15T10:00:00.000-08:00

Their first album is still a classic. I don't think any other group has ever burned as bright for as little time (as a combined act) as the Fugees. Lauryn Hill found success with her first solo album (though quickly faded away after that), and Wyclef has had some staying power. Pras... Well, at least Lauren and Clef did their thing (in more ways than one).

Tail Report: Leola Bell

2011-12-14T18:03:00.000-08:00

Leola's not a household name right now, but that may all change very soon. The smoking hot natural beauty will be Playboy's Miss February 2012, and she's likely to be a fan favorite (on Twitter: @LeolaBell). Being one of Hef's iconic Playboy Playmates is a door-opening opportunity in the entertainment world; could 2012 be the start of booming career in Hollywood for Leola? We can only hope. The more we get to see of her, the better.

[Some of these pics come courtesy of The Smoking Jacket's interview with the upcoming Miss February.]

Leola, congrats on being named a Playmate. When you're looking for a date to your first movie premiere, holla at ya boy.

Get Low

2011-12-12T21:30:00.000-08:00

Petey Williams, of Wake Forest Rolesville (N.C.), has moves that even Neo would appreciate.

Xmas List 2011: World's Most Beautiful

2011-12-12T15:50:00.000-08:00

This ain't your daddy's magazine.

World's Most Beautiful is a new magazine featuring some of the best things on earth, from Jessica Burciaga to the McLaren SLR, and all shot in 3D (though regular 2D versions are also available with each issue). It combines the artistic integrity of Playboy, the contemporary feel of Maxim, and the technological accessibility of Yelp into a whole new reason to never put down your smartphone and iPad.

To view the 3D content, of course, you need glasses. You can use any you may have laying around your house, or order them directly from WMB (they have plastic pairs for $12 each, or a paper version that are free—plus shipping & handling). Each issue costs about $5, with bonus galleries ranging from $0.99 to $2.99, all of which can be downloaded directly to your iPhone, iPad, or Android phone.

I really don't know why you'd need any further motivation than the charms of Miss Burciaga (I mean, c'mon, look at that picture above...damn). But for those of you who are still on the fence about adding WMB to your personal wish list , consider this: Their inaugural issue, published this past August, can also be purchased in hardcopy for $19.95. Oh, and that month's cover model?

Yeah, I think you're feeling me now.

Xmas List 2011: Himalayan Salt Tequila Glasses

2011-12-12T09:07:00.000-08:00

This is yet another gift idea for the On the Rocks crowd: Tequila shot glasses made of salt. Yup.

From Salt Therapy at Home's product page:

This beautiful and functional set will be the perfect conversation starter for your party or decorative accent for your home. The set of six tequila shot glasses and tray are an elegant work of art that will grace any sideboard or tabletop. Carved from naturally beautiful Himalayan pink crystal salt, the lovely striated pattern perfectly complements any decor. The naturally anti-bacterial surface requires minimal maintenance, and your long-lasting carved salt glasses will add elegance and fun to many a friendly shot or business deal! You'll be amazed how the rich taste of Himalayan crystal salt enhances the flavor of your favorite tequila like table salt never did!

This is a great idea, but one with a couple of drawbacks. First, these shot glasses have a limited use. If you're not drinking tequila, then I doubt you want salt interfering with the drinking experience. And, second, I would imagine they have an expiration point. They say long-lasting, but that's vague; and, certainly, they won't last as long as their glass and plastic counterparts.

But, in the end, if you're someone who takes pride in his or her personal bar, and who enjoys tequila, this is a must-own. Just don't leave it where your pet moose can get to it.

Christmas Spy

2011-12-09T16:40:00.001-08:00

If you're not watching the best show on TV, you've got nothing for me. From last night's Christmas ep of Community.

It's the Weekend

2011-12-09T12:00:00.000-08:00

Time to ask the tough questions...

From Identity Ink.

Throwback Thursday: "Back At You" -- Mobb Deep

2011-12-08T11:03:00.001-08:00

An often-slept-on gem from the QB vets.

Thundersnow

2011-12-08T05:30:00.001-08:00

You've got to be envious of someone who loves their job. Especially when they love it this much.

<a href='http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/weatherman-is-psyched-on-some-thundersnow/20ygz47d?videoId=2ea766d2-c086-4e33-b539-be587d2effb2&from=&src=v5:embed::uuids' target='_new' title='Weatherman Is Psyched On Some Thundersnow'>Video: Weatherman Is Psyched On Some Thundersnow</a>

Duckin' Shots

2011-12-07T14:16:00.001-08:00

If you've perused the internet and social media at all in the last few years (and really, if you haven't...how are you here reading this?), you're well aware of the rampant epidemic that AntiDuckface is out to combat. The ladies of the world seem to all think they're Derrick Zoolander when a camera comes out. The result? This:

Now, for some reason, she probably thinks she looks like the shit. If only she could hear your laughter right now. Hopefully one of her friends has hipped her to AntiDuckface (or maybe even this site; if so..."How you doin'?"), and she'll get the clue.

Props to my girl Steph for the find.

Xmas List 2011: Blowfish

2011-12-06T13:36:00.001-08:00

This qualifies as an "On the Rocks" post, but definitely goes on my Xmas List; therefore, it's getting posted on both Crooked Straight pages.

The latest miracle drug to hit the market is Blowfish, and it's sure to pique the interests of my fellow fans of "the booze". From NYDailyNews.com:

The over-the-counter drug cocktail combines 1,000 milligrams of aspirin, 120 milligrams of caffeine and a stomach-soothing agent into two effervescent tablets taken the morning after a night of heavy drinking.

Once dissolved in water, the remedy claims to knock out multiple hangover symptoms in just 15 to 30 minutes.

“The magic of the effervescent tablet is that it hits your system much faster than getting a cup of coffee, taking an antacid and taking some aspirin separately,” she said.

...Blowfish runs $2.99 for a single dose, or $11.99 for a six-pack. It is currently available in Ricky’s NYC stores or online at ForHangovers.com, which offers free shipping and 24-hour courier service in Manhattan. The tablets will hit Duane Reade shelves in January.

The "she" in the quote above is the product's creator, Brenna Haysom. And it would appear Ms. Haysom is a gal out to steal my heart:

“So many people see hangovers as a shameful or embarrassing thing. I think of them as just a fact of life,” said Brenna

Hmmm, maybe this should've been a "wifey material" post...

Xmas List 2011: Keys, Wallet, Cell Phone Door Mat

2011-12-06T11:30:00.001-08:00

Last year I gave you a few of the items on my personal Xmas list (an A list Hollywood actress, a $200,000 Italian supercar, etc.). Some might have seen these gift ideas as "ambitious". ..."Delusional" is also a viable description.

So this year I'll give you a few smaller, more realistic suggestions for those of you looking for ideas on what to buy for the loved ones in your life (but not necessarily me; I mean, I like the stuff I'll be posting over the next couple of weeks, but I would love Scarlett...I'm quite positive of that). First up is this clever gift for anyone who has locked his or herself out of his or her apartment more than 3 times in the last year. Ahem. *sheepishly raises hand*

The "Keys Wallet Cell Phone" reminder door mat.

Sometimes You Get the Bull...

2011-12-02T12:55:00.001-08:00

This is one of those Fridays that needs an extra reason to lose yourself. And with that, I give you this clip.

It's Friday

2011-12-02T12:00:00.000-08:00

Time to shine...

Throwback Thursday: "Two Words" -- Kanye West ft. Mos Def, Freeway, & The Harlem Boys Choir

2011-12-01T10:00:00.000-08:00

"A-yo, Two words, Chi-Town, South Side/
cuz I, rep that, 'til I, fuckin die"

Tail Report: Shay Maria

2011-12-01T06:00:00.000-08:00

Yessir...

This beauty has fast become an internet fave, even attracting the attention of Girlwatcher at The Smoking Jacket. And it's not hard to see why; babygirl's curves are legit. And she has a playful character that beams through her beautiful face, shifting her stare from a sex kitten's "Spank me" to a tomboy's "Fight me" in a heartbeat. The kind of girl that will spend half a day with you wilin' on a PS3 joystick, and the other half wilin' on your joystick. ...i.e., the perfect woman.

And, as if that wasn't enough, here's a quick stop-motion video to help you appreciate the way she moves:

Or, if you'd prefer to see her move in real time:

Politickin'

2011-11-29T10:41:00.001-08:00

Quick and off-the-wall video from the folks at Funny Or Die. Good for some LOLs on a day marked with sad news.

ONLY BUILT 4 CUBAN LINX NIGGAZ - watch more funny videos

My boy Garrett with the find.

RIP Patrice O'Neal

2011-11-29T09:59:00.001-08:00

Sad news breaking today that O'Neal, one of the comedy world's most underrated talents, has passed away at the age of 41.

No One Would Riot for Less

2011-11-26T00:29:00.001-08:00

You may have seen the video by now, but in case you haven't:

That is a crowd of Wal-Mart shoppers in Arkansas losing their shit over $2 waffle makers on Black Friday. ...Let me state that again. This human feeding frenzy is scrambling, clawing, and climbing over one another for waffle makers. As much as I want to sit back and enjoy the comedy of this clip (and oh, it's there: the accents, the indiscriminate ass cracks; the irony that a waffle maker—of all things—can simultaneously be so invaluable as to only cost $2, and yet so precious that people are willing to sacrifice life and limb for it; the crosssing-the-streams result of putting together "Arkansas" and "Wal-Mart" in the same sentence...), I just keep coming back to one thought: This is why the world hates America.

There are a lot of countries where this type of scene happens more than once a year. But, instead of cheap kitchen appliances that are about as essential to daily life as an anniversary gift is to Kim Kardashian, the people are figthing over food and water. How embarrassed would you be as an American to have to sit next to someone from Darfur as they watch that clip?

I love this nation of ours. But, what I don't love, is the entitled state of mind that we've fallen into. Priorities are no longer a priority. Common sense was shot on the side of the road and left to die the day Fox News' gang of buffoons decided to label Common Sense as a cop-killing gangsta rapper. One of my friends, in arguing against the merits of the #OccupyWallStreet movement, said that the Civil Rights movement never achieved anything, either.

*sigh*

Cougars Love Pepper

2011-11-22T15:37:00.001-08:00

...Just ask Megyn Kelly, she of the perpetually non-factual television network, Fox "News".

From New York Magazine's Daily Intel blog:

Last night on Fox News, anchor Megyn Kelly joined Bill O'Reilly to assess just how much the protesters at UC Davis deserved to get pepper-sprayed while staging a nonviolent protest last week. "First of all, pepper spray — that just burns your eyes, right?" O'Reilly asks Kelly, the legal (and apparently chemical) expert. "It's like a derivative of actual pepper," she responds. "It's a food product, essentially."

...One of the hit protesters told Boing Boing two days later, "I still have a burning sensation in my throat, lips and nose, especially when I start coughing, or when I'm lying in bed. Everyone who got sprayed has sustained effects like this." Sounds delicious.

That a~~n empty~~ talking head from Fox News is on the record as saying something so incredibly stupid and blindly unsubstantiated is certainly neither earth-shattering nor, in fact, post-worthy.

This picture inspired by Kelly's absurdity, however, is:

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all.

Head Games

2011-11-21T11:49:00.001-08:00

Rajon Rondo, off his forehead to Rudy Gay at a charity game. Yup.

TJ with the assist.

Tail Report: Yasmin

2011-11-21T11:07:00.001-08:00

She DJs. She sings. She looks delish from every angle. She's Yasmin, a 22-year-old talent from England who has worked with Eve, N.E.R.D., and Taio Cruz.

She's my new crush. And soon to be yours as well.

Throwback Thursday: "Down 4 U" -- Ja Rule ft. Vita, Charli Baltimore, & Ashanti

2011-11-17T10:00:00.000-08:00

I know, I know, I know... Ja Rule and his series of R&B-esque hip-hop ballads are an easy target, one I've fired shots at in the past. But I'm going to give this one a pass...at least for now. This was a prime track for several reasons:

(1.) The laid back beat is a nice change-up pitch, and allows the track to waft over you like a cool ocean breeze.
(2.) A beach-themed video filled with video vixens and aspiring models in bikinis is always a #win.
(3.) Vita's entrance kills. And ever since her scene in Belly...well, there's been a special place in my heart for her.
(4.) Charli Baltimore's whole verse kills.
(5.) Ashanti is just ridiculous, from eyes to thighs.

Sizzlin' Sheets

2011-11-17T09:24:00.001-08:00

This may be the best thing to happen to sex since the invention of Sasha Grey. Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with: BACON. FLAVORED. LUBE.

Yes, this is real. No, you're not dreaming. Yes, I can wait a few minutes while you recover.

...

......

.........

All good?

Okay. Now a few words from the creators of this masterpiece in engineering.

Before you start giving meat-flavored massages, we have one small admission to make - baconlube began as an elaborate April Fool's prank and was never intended to be a real product. But when the joke ended, the emails kept coming. People harassed us via email, in public and in highly inappropriate ways (thanks for that). The waiting list grew to over 3,000 people. Expectations were built.

So who's responsible for this highly anticipated creation actually coming to life? You are, that's who. You and an intern named Martin actually, who sacrificed and offended his taste buds in the name of science on sample after failed sample before this really did taste like bacon.

We'll make no judgments about why you want this or what you want to do with it, but baconlube is here and it's real for a limited time. Keep It Sizzlin'.

And yes, I've ordered a bottle. If any ladies would like to help me do some product testing, hit me on Twitter.

In Case You Were Wondering...

2011-11-16T12:52:00.001-08:00

...Mila Kunis is still D-to-the-LISH.

And not only that, but she's still one of the most levelheaded people in the business. From The Huffington Post:

Named the magazine's "Knockout of the Year," the title could just as easily have been bestowed for her candid statements about Hollywood, too. While many stars spend their time in interview after interview pitching their integrity and devotion to the finest aspects of film, Kunis is realistic about how she makes her living.

“I love what I do, but my theory is that it's people who doubt what they do and want to prove it to you, they're like 'It's art. I create art. It's art, art, art,'" she tells the magazine in their new issue. "I'm like, Holy sh*t, are you f*cking kidding me? I run around and pretend I'm someone else for twelve hours; I record 'Family Guy' [she voices Meg]. Then I get to go home and watch 'Jersey Shore.'"

"Keep doing ya thing/ While I work on copping this ring"...

D Rose with the Steal?

2011-11-15T14:54:00.001-08:00

Interesting rumor floating around that Derrick Rose laughed in a hooker's face instead of paying her for her...services.

From Nurize (via Boxden):

Reigning NBA MVP Derrick Rose just got put on blast by a popular ESCORT hooker named Bee. According to BEE via Twitter, DRose stiffed one of her friends… And when it was over, she asked Derrick for payment and allegedly Rose “laughed” in the prostitute’s face and told her that he wasn’t paying

TJ is, of course, playing the "good wife" on this one and defending his man-crush to the end. Personally, I think this story has a little bit of merit. True, Rose isn't known for being the type of guy to hire hookers, let alone skip out on the bill. But I see little reason for "BEE" to lie on this, since there wouldn't be much she could gain aside from some minor publicity (which isn't all that great of a thing when you consider that her livelihood depends on law enforcement people not knowing what her livelihood is).

And, really, is it such a stretch of the imagination that Rose could have been at a club, casino, hotel, etc., and pulled a ridiculously hot chick; then, after they did the damn thing, she piped up and said "That'll be $3000"? We've certainly seen it happen in TV and movies enough times to make it all the more likely that some female of subpar intelligence would actually try pulling off this Looney-Tunes-for-adults-worthy ploy. And if you were D Rose in this (albeit hypothetical) situation, what would be your response? Would you pay her? Hell no. You'd probably just get dressed, laugh at the broad, and walk out the door.

Whether he legitimately stole from this chickenhead or not, at least Rose is finding a way to keep himself in shape during the lockout.

My boy Iso with the assist.

It's the Weekend

2011-11-11T12:35:00.001-08:00

Can't you just taste it?...

Video: "Cocky & Arrogant" -- Off Rip ft. Joe Budden, Royce Da 5'9", and FranChize

2011-11-11T10:48:00.001-08:00

This track is a couple of years old, but I still love it. And this is the first I've seen the video (I don't get out much). So fuck it, I'm putting it up.

Throwback Thursday: "Nuttin' But Love" -- Heavy D

2011-11-10T10:00:00.001-08:00

Got nothin but love for ya, Heavy. RIP.

Gay Mafia?

2011-11-09T14:34:00.000-08:00

I've got mad respect for Fat Joe for expressing a tolerant viewpoint in this Vlad TV interview, which is something that the world could always use more of. But saying there's a "gay mafia" in hip-hop? That sounds a little loco, papi. Don't know if I'd go that far.

Then again, he's a 20+ year vet in the game, and I'm...me. Maybe he knows something I don't.

Chest Thumped

2011-11-09T09:39:00.000-08:00

Be careful with kickers, they're fragile.

Heavy Hearts

2011-11-08T14:51:00.000-08:00

TMZ is reporting that hip-hop icon Heavy D (real name: Dwight Arrington Myers) has passed away at the age of 44. Tragic news for one of my generation's most cherished artists and personalities. Today we lost one of the "good guys", in both the entertainment world and the "real" world. R.I.P. Heavy.

Tail Report: Nicole Lyons

2011-11-08T14:21:00.000-08:00

I love me a beautiful woman. This is public knowledge. But what makes a woman exceptional? When she brings something more to the table than just a pretty face and a tight frame. This is the bonus plan you get with Nicole.

From Life + Times:

Some people were born to go fast. Drag racer Nicole Lyons is one of them. Lyons is a serious contender in multiple divisions for the National Hot Rod Association as a pro-stock driver. She is the first African-American woman to compete in the NHRA. On a good day, Lyon flies across the finish line of the quarter-mile in less than five seconds in her pro-mod ’69 Camaro that boasts over 3,000 horsepower. “You’re talking about the fastest motorsport in the world,” she says. “It’s an incredible rush and amazing thing to go that fast.”

In a few precious seconds, she has to steer, shift the car and make sure her parachute is pulled. “If anything is going wrong, in the blink of an eye I have to correct it,” she says. “If we were to wreck in one of these cars, it could be the end of it.” It all comes down to lightening fast responses.

Nicole's star is unquestionably on the rise. Does being a pretty face inflate her popularity and visibility? Of course. But she has the skills to back up the hype. She's ride or die.

Just the type of thing you'd expect from an exceptional woman.

RIP Smoking Joe

2011-11-08T13:13:00.001-08:00

"Dat's OK"

2011-11-05T11:11:00.000-07:00

Funny shit from a friend of a friend of a friend in the N-Y.

Just Plane Wrong

2011-11-04T12:10:00.000-07:00

Erin Andrews is attractive--I'm not contesting that fact. But people insist on consistently overrating her looks. She's "met a nice girl at the grocery store" hot, not Playboy Playmate hot. Hell, she's not even video vixen hot, and most "video vixens" would kill to be a Playboy Playmate.

And I find it hard to believe that any woman would be fine enough to make a guy feel the need to rub one out while sitting next to her in a public place.

From The Huffington Post:

Keith Clinkscales, a former ESPN executive, is fighting allegations that he once masturbated next to network correspondent Erin Andrews on a plane.

...According to [Deadspin blogger A.J.] Dalerio's source, Clinkscales had been reportedly sitting next to Andrews on a plane when she saw him masturbating underneath his iPad. When he realized that she had seen him, he "panicked and muttered, 'You know, I'm one of your bosses.'"

This almost sounds like it could have been written by the people who made "Seinfeld". But the one truly brilliant thing to come from this story is a statement made by Clinkscales' lawyer.

According to the Daily, his lawyer called the idea of masturbating underneath an iPad "ridiculous" and said, "I’m thinking of bringing a defamation suit on behalf of his penis."

I might just have to put this lawyer on retainer.

It's Friday

2011-11-04T12:00:00.000-07:00

Time to rethink your strategy...

From Yahoo! News

Throwback Thursday: "I'll Be Around" -- Rappin 4-Tay

2011-11-03T10:00:00.000-07:00

A little Bay love on this Thursday afternoon. I still prefer the original Spinners track, but 4-Tay held it down too.

Video: Childish Gambino -- "Bonfire"

2011-10-31T13:58:00.000-07:00

Here's the new video for the first single off of Gambino's new album, "Camp". Perfect for Halloween.

Get More: Childish Gambino, Music, More Music Videos