Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Tail Report: Aubrey O'Day

It's been a while since we've heard anything out of Aubrey. She posed for Playboy a year or two ago, and then just sort of disappeared from the pop culture radar. It's good to see here, though, that she's still sticking to her god-given talent: Being ridiculously hot in very little clothing.

Everyone in the pool.


God of War

This is coming to you a little late, I know. The trailer originally hit the web early last week, and you've likely seen it by now. But I was on my Memorial Day weekend vibe for just about all of last week, so...

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 hits stores on November 8th.

Monday, May 23, 2011

If You're Ever in South Carolina...

This is a spectacular fail. I mean, you know he had to have written these lines down ahead of time. And yet, somehow, he didn't stop and think, "Wait..."




A great find by Attack of the Blog.

Double Clicking the Mouse at Work

Only in Brazil. I love this country more and more everyday.

From Business Insider:
Brazilian Ana Catarian Bezerra suffers from a chemical imbalance that triggers severe anxiety and hyper sexuality. To cope she masturbates around 47 times a day, sometimes at the office.

When the accounting company she works for complained, Bezerra took them to court. And won.

Translated by Guanabee from Analitica:
After winning a court battle and seeking professional medical help, Ana is allowed to masturbate and watch porn — using her work's computer, no less — legally.

Carlos Howert, Ana's doctor, prescribes Ana with a "cocktail" (read: an entire medicine cabinet's worth) of tranquillizers. We're not sure how that "cocktail" doesn't knock Ana out (half a Claritin feels like an elephant tranquillizer to us), but thanks to Dr. Howert's concoction, Ana only has to masturbate around eighteen-times a day.
In most US companies, you get in trouble for simply looking at pictures of women in bikinis. I'm sure the rate of workplace violence would be cut in half if American organizations started instituting more relaxed policies like this. This is a groundbreaking court ruling. Ana, I'd like to shake your hand.

—I won't, of course. Maybe an elbow bump, but...

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Comin Right At Ya

Coke to the nose has never looked so dangerous.

Backflip Fail

Memo to cute girls in bikinis: When you're in a pool, just lay around and look cute. Don't try stunts and jeopardize that cuteness.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Throwback Thursday: "Motherless Child" -- Ghostface Killah ft. Raekwon

Just some classic Wu Gambino shit from 1996 for you.


Tosh.Oh shit!

For the opening episode of Tosh.0's 4th season, Daniel Tosh stepped into the ring with Manny Pacquiao. The challenge: Take one punch from the world champion...and not die.

It's worth noting that, as you might expect, Pacquiao holds back here. But despite going only about 85%, his punch is still quick as hell and very "dayumnnn"-worthy. As is Daniel's jab at the very end (Mayweather...damn).

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Secret ServOWNED

A recent tweet from the US Secret Service's official Twitter account:

Head Shot

FAIL.

Last month we saw a soccer player drop his team's championship trophy in front of the truck they were celebrating on, causing it to get run over. And now this.

From Puck Daddy:
You may remember Pasi Nurminen from his three-season stint (2001-04) as a goalie with the Atlanta Thrashers. But from this day forward, Pasi Nurminen will be known as the Finland goalie coach who fell off the stairs while deplaning and slammed head-first into his team's IIHF world championship trophy...

...It's this network's contention that his noggin actually dented the trophy. Which. Is. Awesome. (Especially because Nurminen wasn't injured in the fall.)

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Tail Report: Brittany Dailey

I know, I know... It's been forever and a day since we gave you one of these. And, to be fair, I'm more or less stealing this one (mostly) from the T.I.T.S. Blog. But I think when you look through some of Ms. Dailey's photos you'll find your disappointment melting away. She's a cutie, no doubt.

Among her many T.I.T.S. appearances is this blog interview, which gives you two minutes with an angel (including video). And, like The Conchords said, "two minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heaven."


Monday, May 16, 2011

Just in Case You Forgot...

...Taj Gibson's a man. I guarantee Wade won't be forgetting that anytime soon.

Daily Dunk(s): Taj Gibson

Mr. Gibson got his grown man on in last night's Eastern Conference Championship Game 1. First, he abused Dwyane Wade with a second quarter slam that caused Twitter, Facebook, and my phone erupt in unison; I wasn't near a TV at that moment, but tweets, statuses, and texts from countless people alerted me to what had just happened. This included a text from lifelong Bulls fan TJ: "TAJ GIBSON JUST DUNKED WADE INTO NEXT YEAR".



Then, with the game well in hand in the fourth quarter, Gibson let loose another gem, catching a rebound and dunking the ball so ferociously that it sounded like a gunshot.



It's only been one game, but the Heat may have a problem on their hands.

Respect My Gangsta: Carlos Santana

From Philly.com:
ATLANTA - The public-address system at Turner Field wasn't too clear and most of the early arrivals probably weren't paying a lot of attention when various dignitaries from baseball's Civil Rights Weekend ceremonies were being introduced on the field before the Phillies-Braves game.

But when noted musician Carlos Santana, winner of the Beacon of Change Award, stepped to the podium, his parting shot rang out loud and clear.

"The people of Atlanta should be ashamed of themselves," he said before going back to his seat.

Later, Santana came to the press box and filled in the blanks. The Grammy winner said he had been speaking out against the controversial immigration laws in Arizona and Georgia. "And if people in Atlanta, Georgia, don't do anything about it, shame on you, too," he said.

Santana went on to say that, in his opinion, there are few left to speak up for the oppressed now that Martin Luther King, Cesar Chavez, John Lennon and Mother Teresa are all gone.

"I'm here to give voice to the invisible people," he said. "You're either part of the solution or part of the problem. There's no in between. Let's have passion with compassion. I'm a weapon of mass compassion."
Bravo, sir. The thinly-veiled Tea Party racism that is pushing immigration reform should be dismissed as xenophobic rhetoric, and quickly laughed off by those in power in this day and age. But, unfortunately, there's still enough ignorance in the US to let this bigoted agenda carry forward. It's refreshing to see that Santana isn't one to let it slide.

Friday, May 13, 2011

It's Friday

Time to express yourself...

"Osama, who's your favorite Lil Rascal? Alfalfa, or Spanky?"

From The Huffington Post:
A stash of pornography was found in the hideout of Osama bin Laden by the U.S. commandos who killed him, current and former U.S. officials said on Friday.

The pornography recovered in bin Laden's compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan, consists of modern, electronically recorded video and is fairly extensive, according to the officials, who discussed the discovery with Reuters on condition of anonymity.
On one hand, should this be all that surprising? Bin Laden is said to have been in the compound for nearly five years, perhaps never having stepped foot outside of it in that time. Most guys couldn't go five days without some adult entertainment. On the other, stickier hand is the hypocrisy of a supposedly devout, radical Muslim man such as Bin Laden owning and enjoying common smut. Just as with religious zealots and "moralists" in the United States, it's typically the people who preach the most intolerance who are the biggest partakers in the very things they preach against.

This news brings up so many questions for me now. What kind of porn was Osama into? Was it Arab women? American women? Bull dykes with dildos? Midgets in leather? Just how twisted are the sexual kinks of a man so demonic as to plot the most unthinkable and diabolical of terrorist attacks? Or is there a balance--did all of that venemous ugliness make him fantasize about plain, vanilla, "girlfriend-experience" sex? Would scenes of an ordinary guy having missionary sex with his loving wife in their house with a white picket fence drive Osama to climax?

*pause* Things I never thought I'd write, speak, think... or want answered.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Shaking Things Up

I'm dead off this whole segment. Kudos to the producers for the cutaway shots of everyone in the studio using Shake Weights. God I miss L.A.



Props to my boy Serge for the find.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Lupe Fiasco on Colbert Report

Lupe did the damn thing last night, performing two songs from "Lasers". Here are "Words I Never Said" and "I Don't Wanna Care Right Now" (Don't Wanna Care wasn't shown during the broadcast).

"Words I Never Said" (featuring Skylar Grey)

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Lupe Fiasco - Words I Never Said
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical Humor & Satire BlogVideo Archive



"I Don't Wanna Care Right Now"

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Exclusive - Lupe Fiasco - I Don't Wanna Care Right Now
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical Humor & Satire BlogVideo Archive

Monday, May 9, 2011

Samurai vs. a Gun

This is someone you want on your side. Because if he's not, and you hear him coming, it's already too late.


His Main Squeeze

Some Americans say soccer is too boring. Well this gentleman seems to have found a great way to keep himself at attention during a match.

I'd love to have one of our Spanish-speaking readers provide a translation to the announcers' commentary.

Fighter Wins 2 "Knockouts" in 1 Night

Just a little something to get your Monday moving. Kind of a two-for-one here; you get the sick KO, followed by an impromptu marriage proposal.



But ladies, I ask you this: You just watched your boyfriend drop another man with a sick tap to the jaw; are you even going to consider saying "no" to his marriage proposal? I think at that point he could've gotten down on his knee and asked her if they could have a threesome with one of the ring girls, and she would've agreed simply out of fear of catching a quick jab.

Friday, May 6, 2011

"You belong to the city... You belong to the night..."

My weekend has already started (hate me if you must). But for those of you still sitting in your offices at work, let this cool collection of timelapse videos ease you into your Friday Night Live mode.

From Gizmodo:
For almost a year, from late 2010 to 2011, photographer Dominic Boudreault trekked through Montreal, Quebec City, Toronto, Manhattan, and Chicago, shooting these incredibly vivid images of cityscapes at night: highways, buildings lit up in the dark, streetlife, people, rivers—all with perfect exposure, and sure to stir up some emotion in your cynical, deadened soul.

Timelapse - The City Limits from Dominic on Vimeo.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Throwback Thursday: "Time's Up" -- Jadakiss ft. Nate Dogg

"I know how to get my peers off me/
Make 'em cry & die of high blood pressure, cuz tears is salty
"

This is a highly underrated 2004 banger from Jada. RIP Nate.

Baddest White Girl You'll Ever Meet

I'm dead off this: Karmin covering Chris Brown, Busta, & Lil Wayne's "Look at Me Now". (Props to my boy Attevocai with the mean assist.)

Stunting

This video is absolutely insane. This is a rider's-eye-view of the 2010 Valpara√≠so Cerro Abajo, a Chilean "urban downhill bike race". Otherwise known as crazy shit you'll never see me—or Good Feed Blog's Ryan O'Hanlondoing.
This is a death wish. On my list of “Extreme Activities to Never Attempt,” urban mountain biking is at the top.

...You start out at the top of Cerro Carcel, one of Valpara√≠so’s many hills. Then, basically, it’s a maddening free-for-all down through the city streets-cum-mountains, over rocks, off of walls, and up ramps. The course is taped off, forcing you down narrow sidewalks and tight staircases. If that wasn’t enough, the occasional stray dog might get in your way, too. There’s no word on what the deal with the pinstripe suit is, but we’re not asking any questions.
I'll echo O'Hanlon's suggestion that you click "full screen" before watching the video. Then sit back, strap in, and hold on tight (that's what she said).


VCA 2010 RACE RUN from changoman on Vimeo.

Respect My Gangsta: Australian Taggers

From The Opening Hours:
Last week, a wall that Teazer, Numskull and Roach had painted in Camperdown, was painted over by someone (owners, real estate agents, council….?) without the artists knowing. This was the response from an unknown person. It made our day. We’re not sure which one we like best…
Brilliant. Bravo, sirs. Bravo.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

A Day in the Life of Jo Koy

Here's a cool little behind-the-scenes video released by Crooks and Castles. I'd love to have the kind of access to their store that Koy does.

The scene in the car with the "hood" song killed me.

Two Beards For the Price of One

And NHL players think their playoff beards are a symbol of dedication? What's two months of whiskers compared to 116 months' worth?

From Good Feed Blog:

Gary Weddle, a middle school teacher from Ephrata, Washington, who began growing his facial hair nearly 10 years ago as a way of reminding himself and others of the horrors of 9/11—and of the ongoing need for bin Laden to answer for it. When he learned that bin Laden was dead, he cried for joy.
I applaud Mr. Weddle on his dedication and patriotism, but his marketing skills are a little lacking. Instead of shaving it off immediately, he should've called Gillette and turned it into a huge promotional payday for himself.

I guess some people are just satisfied with justice being done in the world.

Monday, May 2, 2011

5/1/11: A Moment in History

As the day has gone on, more and more stories and various pieces of information have come out about the United States' covert operation to finally rid the world of Osama Bin Laden. A few of the choicer selections:

1. Americans react as united members of a nation, no matter what pastime we may be wrapped up in when the news breaks.




2. These two pieces of trivia from Ryan O'Hanlon at The Good Feed Blog.
Also, President Bush gave his “Mission Accomplished” speech on May 1, 2003 (8 years to the day), and Hitler was killed on May 1, 1945 (66 years to the day). I am officially freaked out.

3. This Yahoo! article about the Navy Seals who carried out the dangerous mission with immeasurable skill and unrivaled precision.
From Ghazi Air Base in Pakistan, the modified MH-60 helicopters made their way to the garrison suburb of Abbottabad, about 30 miles from the center of Islamabad. Aboard were Navy SEALs, flown across the border from Afghanistan, along with tactical signals, intelligence collectors, and navigators using highly classified hyperspectral imagers.

After bursts of fire over 40 minutes, 22 people were killed or captured. One of the dead was Osama bin Laden, done in by a double tap -- boom, boom -- to the left side of his face. His body was aboard the choppers that made the trip back.

4. This photo:
Watching the mission to kill Bin Laden unfold.

Official White House Photo by Peter Souza :

President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden, along with members of the national security team, receive an update on the mission against Osama bin Laden in the Situation Room of the White House, May 1, 2011. Please note: a classified document seen in this photograph has been obscured.
God bless the United States of America, and all of the brave men and women who serve her.

Respect My Gangsta: President Obama

Osama Bin Laden has finally been dealt with.