Thursday, September 30, 2010

The Evolution of Hip Hop

This is really impressive by both Fallon and Timberlake. If (for some unknown reason) you're not convinced yet that hip-hop has become interwoven with mainstream pop culture, pause this video at about the 3:50 mark and just let the picture in front of you soak into your mind.

RIP Greg Giraldo

Touching words and tribute by Jon Stewart and The Daily Show. Giraldo's comedy was a rare combination of intelligence and brashness; off the stage, he was reported to be a genuine and caring person, loved by his wife, sons, family, and friends. He will be deeply missed.

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Download: Slim Thug ft. B.O.B. "So High"

This is good music to smoke to, then to make high love to. Can't really go wrong with that. Devin on the remix?

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New Dr. Dre Beats Headphones Commercial ft. Lebron James

...and comedian Affion Crockett...I gotta say that I love the way Lebron is willing to poke fun at himself with the lack of rings and press conference stuff. And as a sidenote, lookes like Dre has been in the gym more than the studio.

Download: Jay-Z x DJ Green Lantern "Song Cry" Remix (Deuces Up)

Yeah, I'm disappointed too that it's not a new hova song but these verses still sound good.

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Video: Dula-Mite -- "Fight Music"

Here's the grimy video for the 7-0-2 representative's verbal throwdown, first brought to you last month at Crooked Straight.

Looks like the Young Fly Mistaz are ready for war.

Throwback Thursday: "Everything's Gonna Be Alright" -- Naughty By Nature

Wish I could've found an unedited version of the video. Naughty's always better raw.

(I mean...uhh...)

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Respect My Gangsta: Roy Williams

Two of these in one week? Gangsta.

Back in August, Dallas Cowboys' rookie wide receiver Dez Bryant made headlines for refusing to carry the shoulder pads of teammate Roy Williams. While some foolish "pundits" and fans found this news amusing based on Williams' stat line last season, those who know anything about football shook their heads in unison. This was an unnecessary and serious affront to team dynamics and traditions (Dez's excuse that he "didn't know" about the hazing tradition was ridiculous; anyone who has played football at any level, from middle school through the pros, has paid their dues via a simple hazing tradition such as this at some point in time).

Williams quietly assured the press at the time that Bryant would get his. And last night, he taught the rook a little something about respect.

From ESPN Dallas/Fortworth:
Bryant took the offensive players out to Pappas Bros. Steakhouse. Williams, however, made sure Bryant got the message, inviting defensive players as well.

And guess who was left holding the bill afterward.

"They got the young fella," said Bryant's adviser, David Wells. "What could he say? He had to pay it unless he wanted to wash dishes for a month."

Players ordered basically everything on the menu and even took home bottles of wine.
The final tab? $54,896. Coming on the heels of the veteran receiver's 5 catch, 117 yard, 2 touchdown performance in Sunday's game against Houston, I'd say Dez might be a little inclined to show some respect the next time Roy--make that "Mr. Williams"--hands him something to carry (like his jockstrap).

Monday, September 27, 2010

Rick Ross Nike commercial

"Boom," goes the ex officer.

Respect My Gangsta: David Beckham

Becks has been in the news lately after allegations surfaced that he hired two hookers for a threesome. And that's in addition to being married to Posh Spice (to which I say "daaa" and "yum"). And when a random fan heckled him about it, he decided to calmly discuss the matter with him (see the video below).

From The Huffington Post:
David Beckham is accused of shelling out lots of money for a steamy threesome with a pair of prostitutes. One ex-call girl has publicly come forward, and the other prostitute has backed the story while remaining anonymous. An infamous madam also insists that Beckham cheated on his longtime wife.

For his part, Beckham has sued the magazine In Touch over the story and claims that the accusations are baseless. News of the World writes that there is "no proof" that the erotic romp ever took place.
This is one of those rare cases where the individual parts of the whole aren't really all that gangsta, but the sum total = gangsta.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Sick Catch

Brandon Brown, a prep player from New Hampshire, makes it look easy. This was his team's first play from scrimmage...of the season. Looks like it's going to be a good year.

Mascots is Wylin!

If you're up on your college football news from this past weekend, then you've probably heard about Ohio University's mascot tackling Ohio State University's mascot prior to the start of the game (and Ohio U.'s subsequent apology). What you probably didn't know, however, is that it was all premeditated—or that the guy behind the Rufus the Bobcat costume isn't even enrolled at Ohio U.

From Dr. Saturday:
Why did Rufus jump Brutus? He's an amped-up, 19-year-old undergrad in a bobcat costume with a chip on his shoulder in front of 100,000 people. Why do fish swim? And frankly, if you're just running onto the field, maybe you're kind of asking for it.

In fact, the guy in the suit, Brandon Hanning, told the Ohio student newspaper he tried out for the job with the explicit intention of assaulting Brutus this year – then dropped out after landing the gig. He's currently a student at nearby Hocking College. And he is not sorry at all: "It was the whole reason I tried out (to be Rufus) last year," he told The Post. "I knew we were going back to OSU this year, and I wanted to tackle Brutus." A true American success story, this kid.

Bravo, Mr. Hanning. Bravo. Here's video of Mr. Hanning's plan coming together:

Monday, September 20, 2010

Tail Report: Marie Blanchard

This Haitian goddess is a Pittsburgh resident (and a friend of a friend), which makes it all the more impressive to see she's landed squarely on The Smoking Jacket's radar. Of course, with eyes, lips, & curves like these, it really isn't too surprising.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Tail Report: Jessica Burciaga

Meet my new Latina crush. A Playboy Playmate who deals blackjack. Giggity, sir. Giggity.

For more of Miss Burciaga-D.E.F.I., check out The Smoking Jacket's gallery.

Taxicab Confessions

So much for the adage "The customer is always right."

A Louisiana woman was arrested yesterday after stripping naked and demanding that the driver take her to Michigan. While that alone certainly isn't a crime (especially not if her mugshot is any indication), what happened when he drove her to the police station sealed her fate:
When the driver went inside to get help, the woman stole the taxi, police said.

"It didn't take long to locate the vehicle; it was parked in a parking lot a block from the police department. Officers found the woman in the back seat of the cab still undressed," police said.

So she hopped into the front seat, drove the car a block away, climbed back into the backseat, and then sat there as though someone else had moved the car? How there was no mention of her toxicology report in the story on is beyond me.

Ashley Fox to Ines Sainz: "Get ya mind right."

Okay, so I'm posting this partially because it backs up what I said on Monday regarding the Ines Sainz/New York Jets story. I'm guilty of a little narcissism from time to time, just like anyone else.

But Ashley Fox's column is also well-written and unabashedly truthful. And, being a female sports journalist (a real one, unlike Sainz), she has perspective on the story that I can never have.

From Sports:
You also don't walk into an NFL locker room wearing jeans that leave little to the imagination and a blouse that reveals your substantial cleavage. You don't have to dress ultra-conservatively, but you have to be smart. If you want to be treated like a girl at a bar, dress like a girl at a bar. If you want to be treated professionally and without incident, cover up.

To be a real, professional female sports journalist in this country, you must know: Athletes can be pigs. They say things. You have to have a thick skin and be prepared to fire back at them.

Fox gets it right: Sainz got it wrong. This is a good piece, and definitely worth the read.

And, Ines, if you're reading this (wouldn't that be some shit?), let me say:

—Not appropriate for being treated professionally in an NFL locker room; but VERY appropriate if you want to become Mrs. D.E.F.I. Call me, girl.

Throwback Thursday: "Baby, Baby, Baby" -- TLC

I'm taking it way back right now. If you were born after '85, you probably won't remember this track, but you should definitely add it to your old school repertoire. Off their platinum debut album, this low-key track may be my all-time favorite of the trio's. And the video is solid. It shows off the group's playful side (which disappeared with subsequent albums), and was a big reason for my boyhood crush on Chilli [a crush she recently nuked with her reality show "What Chilli Wants"]. I was 13 when this video first aired (shut up), and it made me daydream of being in college. Rewatching it now, it makes me daydream...of still being in college.

RIP Left Eye

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

2 Live Colbert

Luther a dumbass. I think, in 2010, it's safe to admit that. Why we ever let him speak on behalf of hip-hop, or even associate himself with the world of hip-hop, is a mystery that I will leave to sociology scholars to debate. But thankfully, he managed to get himself firmly within Stephen Colbert's ownage crosshairs.

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"Dad's Life"...bitches...

Earlier today I sent this to some of my boys who are married, and I haven't heard anything from any of them since. I can only assume they're either still laughing, or their laughter gradually transitioned into mournful sobs over this being their lives now.

Props to Michele for the find.

Ray-Ray's Son Can Ball, Too

Typically, if you hear the words "Ray Lewis" and "over 500 total yards" in the same sentence, then you would expect the missing link to be "...ripped each of Baltimore's defensive backs a new asshole for giving up..." But in this case, the news brief is about his son, Ray Lewis III.

From Prep Rally:
According to the Orlando Sentinel, Ray Lewis III gained 504 yards in a 34-7 Lake Mary Prep win over Windermere Prep on Friday. Here's how his amazing offensive output broke down:

• 206 total yards and two touchdowns on punt returns

• 101 total yards on kickoff returns

• 104 yards rushing

• 27 yards receiving

• 66 yards passing, on a perfect 6-for-6 performance through the air

That's not bad. As Fanhouse pointed out, Lewis III's 504 yards was a full 328 more yards than the Jets put up against his dad's defense on Monday night. And, perhaps just to prove he is that Ray Lewis' son, Lewis III registered six tackles, too.

It looks like young Ray-Ray might be headed towards a football future as impressive as his dad's.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Truth Bomb for the Ladies

James Hannah has just been given "that nucca" status for this one.

"Lotta 6s walking around with 9 swaggers... And the shit is not cool. It's fucking up the ecosystem."

Monday, September 13, 2010

Tail Report: 2010 MTV Video Music Awards

Pictures from last night's "white carpet".

Ashley Greene (Apparently she's an actress, or something? Who cares. Thighs and eyes, thighs and eyes. They'll get you every time.)

Rosario Dawson (Don't know where she's been lately, but she needs to come home. Call me, RoRo.)

Katy Perry (Yep...still hate Russell Brand.)

Audrina Patridge (Of course she was there. This is all she does, after all. Only in America can fame make the job, instead of the job making you famous. Audrina's got a sort of a young Sheryl Crow thing going on here. Maybe take some time away from the sun, shorty.)

Ke$ha (Nice to see something on her face other than...ummm...yeaaaahhhh...)

Play Like a Jet

I'll admit, my first temptation upon hearing this story was to create a new "Tail Report" for Ines Sainz, and thus feed into the typical blogger response to any breaking news that features a really hot woman. [I mean, come on—a former Miss Spain? I'm shaking like Pookie on Ice T's kitchen counter with the urge to paste her pictures all over Crooked Straight—and my home office, for that matter.]

But I’ll try to take a slightly higher road here, and stick to the facts as they've been reported. From CBS News:
While Sainz, a former Miss Spain and reporter for Mexico's TV Azteca, was working on a story about quarterback Mark Sanchez, she had footballs thrown in her direction by a Jets coach during practice. Players later called out to her in the team's locker room.

So a Mexican TV station sent a former beauty queen into an NFL locker room, and she was treated as a sexual object instead of a serious reporter… Forgive me, but I’m struggling to see the basis of Ms. Sainz’s and/or TV Azteca’s surprise here. To be clear, I’m not saying that a beautiful woman cannot be a real journalist. Katie Couric, Lara Logan, and many others have proven that being sexually desirable does not preclude you from being credible during an interview. Nor am I saying that vulgar behavior by the Jets’ personnel is excusable. They are professional adults, and should act as such when in the presence of a fellow professional adult in the off-field work environment (even when the circumstances are as uncommon and affecting as that fellow professional being an international beauty).

That being said, this story hardly seems worthy of investigation. She “had footballs thrown in her direction”? Jet players “called out to her”? What is she, a six year old? Is this all she has? Short of having Sanchez fire a tight spiral at her ass or Santonio swinging his Holmes in his hand while calling her over to his locker, I’m failing to understand how Ms. Sainz was treated to conditions so demeaning and tormenting that she felt the need to tweet "I die of embarrassment!".

And, while bad behavior by Jets players would be justifiably punishable, would it be surprising? As a female television reporter walking into the locker room of a professional football team, aren’t you mentally prepared for some manners and personal conduct that might push the boundaries of politeness? You are stepping into a den of young men, in some cases only a year or two removed from college, most of whom have been pampered and privileged for over ten years because of their athletic prowess. Their egos have grown fat on the sacrificial lambs of hundreds of groupies and college coeds during that time. And in the hallowed confines of a team locker room, where clouds of testosterone roll thicker than the clouds of smoke that pour out of Snoop Dogg’s tour bus, a man of any age is just a big teenager, joking around with his buddies.

Anyone stepping into that room—even you, Miss Sainz—is seen as a fellow 10th grader. A beautiful Spanish woman with flowing blonde hair and a strategically buttoned blouse is going to be treated just as any pretty 16 year old girl is treated by the boys in her class. You’re going to be joked with; you’re going to be teased. There are going to be a few catcalls; there are going to be a few suggestive come-ons. But you have to understand the environment and adjust your parameters of right and wrong; of what is acceptable and what isn’t. As a professional journalist inserting herself into this type of environment, you should know what your value will be in their snap judgments, and that none of it will come from your media credentials.

Ines should just consider herself lucky that it was Sanchez she was interviewing, and not Brett Favre.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Goalie Fail

We've all been there (and don't lie like you haven't): The anticipation of the moment has you in a frenzy, and possibly a little too excited. As it all starts, your rhythm and timing seem flawless, and you move in harmony with your companion's movements; and then, the heart-pounding moment of payoff, as everything comes to a head. Then, as the roar in your ears dies down and you, panting in glee, allow the rest of the world to return into your consciousness, an embarrassing realization comes over you. Your companion isn't finished; no, your "companion" is still rolling toward the goal. I'm talking, of course, about premature...celebration.

It's Friday

Time to make power moves...

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Throwback Thursday: "Dead Presidents I" -- Jay-Z

"Dead Presidents II" is one of my all-time favorite tracks; Jigga chose to use the original version for the video, though. It's good, but not as good, in my humble opinion. But it's still well above being an above-average track, especially because it uses the same bone-chilling beat (which I once flowed on for a mixtape).

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Scrub Your Balls Clean

Because no woman wants to play with filthy balls...

Tail Report: Krystal Harlow

Playboy's new "SFW" (safe for work) blog, The Smoking Jacket, has named Krystal their new "Miss Social", after she beat thousands of fellow competitors in a fan vote. So what does she win? According to Playboy's "Miss Social" Facebook fan page:
The girl that generates the MOST VOTES in the “MISS SOCIAL” NON-NUDE model search will win the title of Playboy’s "MISS SOCIAL,” an all expense paid trip to Hollywood, a feature on, and a chance to be in Playboy Magazine!

Well alright... Congrats to Krystal. We look forward to seeing more of her (and of the strategically-placed tattoo that appears in the last picture below) soon.

Watermelon Shot

I know Crooked Straight's been a little quiet the last several days. I've been alternately boozy, hungover, sleeping, or some combination therein; Kev has been grinding (and likely boozy, hungover, and sleeping quite a bit as well). But thankfully our absent brother-in-arms, TJ, has found a fantastic bit of video to jolt us out of our post-Labor-Day-Weekend fog. Think of it as a light slap to the face...or a 20 lb watermelon to the face.

Friday, September 3, 2010

It's the Weekend

Time to hit the books...

Swinging More than Rackets

If you think tennis matches are boring...well, you're right. But these people are so passionate about the US Open that they were willing to rumble over it.

From The Huffington Post:
According to the New York Daily News, a brawl broke out among spectators Thursday night in section 187 as Novak Djokovic and Philipp Petzschner played nearby. Both participants -- a woman and a man -- were reportedly taken away by police.

A couple of thoughts:
  1. That old guy might be dead. He started gangsta, calmly telling his woman to step aside before going into action, but that header he took down two rows of seating may have been the end of him.
  2. The young guy first gets mauled by an old man, then choked by the woman, and then bent over the railing like a drunk prom date by some random participant. And then he got kicked out and put in cuffs. All-in-all, probably not his best day.

Tail Report: Celebs in Bikinis

It's Labor Day weekend, and sadly that means that summer is over. Therefore, I offer the following series of pictures as an ode to the long, hot days that came and went way too quickly.

Summer 2010, I barely knew thee.

Demi Moore

Yes, Mrs. Kutcher is 47. But, as seen in the pictures below (which she posted to her Twitter account), and in a video taken at a Snoop Dogg concert earlier this week, she and her body refuse to act their age.

Thank god.

Kim Kardashian

Yup. If Miles Austin doesn't have a good season in 2010, I can't say that I blame him. It's hard to imagine how he's staying focused on football.

Rima Fakih

The reigning Miss America is delish. This picture alone should be reason enough to let Muslims build a mosque near Ground Zero.

Olivia Wilde

Between her and Munn, stock in the name "Olivia" is skyrocketing.

Irina Shayk & Jessica White

Just doin what models do...

Adrianne Curry

She's barely even a reality TV star anymore. She has officially made being hot her career. She's okay with that, and so am I.

Cheryl Burke

"Dancing with the Stars"? Terrible. Dancing with Cheryl? Yes, please.

Audrina Patridge

This is really all she's good at, but she's really good at all of it.